search for a better life/ update page 18

[Skigod377]

Mos def. Its not your fault at all girl. Its only too bad that this situation is not better.

Yes, the cheese folks gave me the refund. 😉

[Kristen]

It’s not your fault that you are in a relationship like this. It never is, you could have never known that it would have happened like that at the start.

*hugs* You don’t deserve this! If you think that way, then he wins.

[Skigod377]

Maybe I missed it but what is keeping him from moving out? Im gonna reread… It would seem odd that he is staying in a relationship when you are both unhappy. Maybe the folks at the place where your sons fosters would have some information on who can help. Maybe there is some program that can get you a van, or pay for nursing care? There have got to be some programs or grants out there or something. There is also a website where you can ask for donations for a cause and post pictures and such…

http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/mhddsas/lmedirectory.htm
http://www.governmentgrantlist.com/?OVRAW=grant%20for%20handicapped%20van&OVKEY=grant%20handicapped&OVMTC=advanced&OVADID=11496195522&OVKWID=86397443522

[Shawna]

skigod377 wrote:

Maybe I missed it but what is keeping him from moving out? Im gonna reread… It would seem odd that he is staying in a relationship when you are both unhappy. Maybe the folks at the place where your sons fosters would have some information on who can help. Maybe there is some program that can get you a van, or pay for nursing care? There have got to be some programs or grants out there or something. There is also a website where you can ask for donations for a cause and post pictures and such…

I was wondering the same thing, why can’t he be the one to move out?

Kyrin

[BDW]

His house not mine 🙁
I have to be the one to move out.
Even when I had my house with my son’s father it was still up to me to move out. But back then Michel was still small only 4 so it was easier

[Shawna]

Blackdesertwind wrote:

His house not mine 🙁
I have to be the one to move out.
Even when I had my house with my son’s father it was still up to me to move out. But back then Michel was still small only 4 so it was easier

Okay, so this guy owns the house you are in, or he’s the main renter?? I’m not sure what you mean here.

Kyrin

[Skigod377]

Blackdesertwind wrote:

His house not mine 🙁
I have to be the one to move out.
Even when I had my house with my son’s father it was still up to me to move out. But back then Michel was still small only 4 so it was easier

Bummer. I truly hope you get whatever you need so you can move out, whether its a van or child care or whatever. No one should have to be unhappy every day. It seems to me that you are both miserable. 🙁

[Katherine]

Yay! I am so glad you love the flowers! I really hope that you will soon escape that jerk. You deserve better, and you didn’t do anything. *hugs*

[Patricia]

What lovely flowers! i’m so glad this group on here was able to brighten your day.

While hiding somewhere in my head I'm on the lookout for white oriental dragons! Please let me know if you know of any available. Thank you!

[BDW]

skigod377 wrote:

Maybe I missed it but what is keeping him from moving out? Im gonna reread… It would seem odd that he is staying in a relationship when you are both unhappy. Maybe the folks at the place where your sons fosters would have some information on who can help. Maybe there is some program that can get you a van, or pay for nursing care? There have got to be some programs or grants out there or something. There is also a website where you can ask for donations for a cause and post pictures and such…

http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/mhddsas/lmedirectory.htm
http://www.governmentgrantlist.com/?OVRAW=grant%20for%20handicapped%20van&OVKEY=grant%20handicapped&OVMTC=advanced&OVADID=11496195522&OVKWID=86397443522
No grants forget that and in Quebec we are very limited for help. They can pay for the adaptation of the van but it can’t be more then 2 years old and problem is that the waiting list to get it adapted is 2 years. So I would have to purchase a brand new van which I can’t afford.
We almost purchased one at one time for $16000 but he wanted me to pay half ($8000) which I was willing to do but it would be in his name only, which I’m not crazy enough to do again.
There is no way I would ever put my vehicule in his name again. I had in the past and he went and gaved it to the towtruck driver since he got stuck with it in Ottawa. My car that I pid for, he gives it away so he does not have to pay the towing?!!!

As far as donations go, I had a bad experience with two places for that, never again!
They collected half the money needed to purchase a special car set for my son then gave me the runaround. I never got it and it took a year of phone call and I still never found out what happened to the money. Social assistance (I was on it at the time) would not pay for one because of their budget.
But they pay someone else to sit on their ass and drink all day.

Kyrin wrote:

Blackdesertwind wrote:

His house not mine 🙁
I have to be the one to move out.
Even when I had my house with my son’s father it was still up to me to move out. But back then Michel was still small only 4 so it was easier

Okay, so this guy owns the house you are in, or he’s the main renter?? I’m not sure what you mean here

Kyrin
He owns it. Purchased it in the first year we where together.
It was a cottage that he purchase then I started to put money in it for renovations. Now it’s a 4 season house. The previous owners could only use it in the summer time, since it was not winterised.

[Shawna]

Question, do you have common law marriage laws there? Because by my reckoning, half that cottage is yours, you’ve paid in on it and you guys got it together even though it’s in his name.

I’d check with a lawyer, it is entirely possible you just might be able to walk away with half the assets, and possibly alimony. Doesn’t hurt to look into it, and if you can force him to either buy you out of your half of the house, or sell it that would give you the funds you need for a new place.

Anyway, these are just a few thoughts, I wish you were here in the US, there are so many programs to help someone in your situation here.

Kyrin

[BDW]

Kyrin wrote:

Question, do you have common law marriage laws there? Because by my reckoning, half that cottage is yours, you’ve paid in on it and you guys got it together even though it’s in his name.

I’d check with a lawyer, it is entirely possible you just might be able to walk away with half the assets, and possibly alimony. Doesn’t hurt to look into it, and if you can force him to either buy you out of your half of the house, or sell it that would give you the funds you need for a new place.

Anyway, these are just a few thoughts, I wish you were here in the US, there are so many programs to help someone in your situation here.

Kyrin

Thanks Kyrin but no our laws here in quebec are different. And it a good thing too since he does not pay his bills most of the time, and they can’t hold me accountable for them since they are in his name only
I did ask a loyer about that since he is borrowing all the time. 🙄

[Lori]

Yikes BDW:

Rock Blackdesertwind Hardplace

If anything, you’re getting something that you do need right now and that’s emotional support.

It’s obvious that what you are going through is very wrong. The best that I can suggest is to bide your time, save your money (when it starts coming in again) and keep as positive as possible that your situation WILL change. Believe in miracles and they will manifest. I know, I know, easier said than done. Is there any one, perhaps family, (when the time is right) that can help you escape this parasite?

Geeze, packing up and moving when you have livestock is one thing, but a handicapped (almost adult) person with special needs …..

You’re very strong and have been through so much already, don’t let this parasite break you ❗

Tons and tons of equine goodness hugs

[BDW]

Hoofer wrote:

Yikes BDW:

Rock Blackdesertwind Hardplace

If anything, you’re getting something that you do need right now and that’s emotional support.

It’s obvious that what you are going through is very wrong. The best that I can suggest is to bide your time, save your money (when it starts coming in again) and keep as positive as possible that your situation WILL change. Believe in miracles and they will manifest. I know, I know, easier said than done. Is there any one, perhaps family, (when the time is right) that can help you escape this parasite?

Geeze, packing up and moving when you have livestock is one thing, but a handicapped (almost adult) person with special needs …..

You’re very strong and have been through so much already, don’t let this parasite break you ❗

Tons and tons of equine goodness hugs
😀 Thanks Hoofer,

I’ve been “bide your time” for years now. But it’s getting harder since I keep it all inside when he does things that are wrong. I learned to keep my mouth shut otherwise he turn everything around and makes it to be my fault even more.
When Mom built her house there was the possibility of making an appartment downstairs but the engineer said she could since she was built to low. Lower then the ditch and the septic system. Here we were thinking that two years ago in may would have been my last month here and I kept on thelling myself that I would not be puting up the chrismass tree here that year but in my appartment. You can imagine how crushing it was for mom and me to here those news. All along that is the reason why I was keeping my sanity. Now don’t ask me what is keeping it together. I honestly don’t know. 😆 😯

My son is going to turn 19 in august, I want to keep taking care of him as long as I can. But it is geting hard. And sometimes I think it’s harder emotionaly then physicaly.
I don’t have brothers or sisters, only one cousin that I don’t see. My parents seperated when I was 3 and did meet my dad until I was 16 then had to quit seing him because of my son’s father but now I do see him maybe three to four times a year. So basicly that just leaves me my mom that is close.

I do wish I would have brothers and sisters.
So no, no family that can help, can’t move at mom’s.
And everytime I move it’s hard, I can move all the boxes myself but the furniture?

This is going to sound desperate 🙄 but I’m glad I found this forum and have you guys as company. 😉

PS: equine hugs are the best! So are griffins and dragons hugs 😆

[twindragonsmum]

*Hugemungus hugs for my angel friend* I so wish there was something more I could to help than just listen…. Keep putting out positive thoughts to the universe about finding a new place to live and it’ll happen when you least expect it. Lots and lots of hugs from my family to yours! We lurv ya baby! Never forget that! And really you need to tell Serge that the flowers are from ‘Bernie’ 😈 For those of you who don’t know, I’m ‘Bernie’ 😈 When BDW and I started talking more good ‘ol suspicious Serge thought that I was a guy and suspected BDW of being unfaithful. She tried and tried and tried to tell him I was female and married with kids and that my name was Beckie. He replied with something like ‘yeah right; Beckie. Don’t you mean Bernie?’ So when I’m being really naughty and want him to feel insecure, I sign everything to BDW as ‘Bernie’ 😈 😈 😈 Serves Serge right! If he’s gonna put negative emotion out in the ether he’s gonna get it back like a boomerang. What comes around, goes around. You reap what you sow. Need I say more?

twindragonsmum 😀 aka Bernie 😈

tdm

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