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I don’t understand why we can’t catch a break. I was at work and my husband called me because his neck was swollen to twice its normal size on the right side. I rush home and take him to John’s Hopkins where they discover he has a MASIVE blood clot from his arm to his neck from the picc line they took out on tuesday. They were gonna activate him on the list today but now they won’t because of this blood clot. They said it could take 3 months to get rid of it and until they do he can’t get surgery. I’m numb right now, I just don’t understand why things keep going so wrong. I was at the hospital till 7am and now I’m home and can’t sleep at all. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying to be strong for my husband but I had to hang up the phone with him because I had a massive break down and I don’t want him to hear it. Today was the first day of my vacation break and I wanted to do something special but now I’m going to spend it and my birthday at the hospital by my husbands side. I just don’t understand why things always have to go so wrong. I can’t hold up under this pressue, I’m cracking and there is nothing I can do about it.
*Hugs* I’m so sorry to hear about this. Hopefully things will take a swing for the better sooner rather than later.
I agree. Hang in there. I will try to give you a different perspective: Any day you get to spend with your husband is special. It really does not matter where you spend it. Dont get me wrong, I know there are much more appealing places to be than a hospital, but at least your husband is still alive and relatively intact. You are right to try and be strong for your husband. He needs you just like you need him. Cherish what you have in every day and try to make the most out of it. If you cant change it, then make the best of it, because getting upset and run down about it just makes the time you DO spend together that much harder. I keep you in my thoughts and wish you could catch a break. Here’s hoping!
I’m so sorry to hear this. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
(And an early Happy Birthday)
Purpledoggy, I am so sorry. With the stresses that you’ve been under lately, anybody would be feeling rather fragile. You’ve needed to be strong for your husband–and in doing so you’ve helped him tremendously–but it’s hard to do that day in and day out.
Because your strength is so important to your husband’s well-being, I’m sure that you’ve been under a lot of pressure to hold up and not show any weakness. But is there anybody in your family, or a friend nearby, that you can get together with face-to-face so that you can vent? I mean, it’s completely reasonable that you’re feeling this way, and nobody would expect you to not feel really stressed. No one wants you to hit the breaking point. I’d think that just being able to talk to a sympathetic ear would be a relief. Maybe a friend would be best, since I know some members of your family have been hard to deal with. 🙁 You need a listener who will focus on and care about you, and not be affected by “family politics.”
I know that this may feel like “just one more thing to deal with,” but it’s important that you can let off some steam and regain your balance. Not too long ago I was near my shatter point (but for reasons much, much less powerful than yours) and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have any close friends in town, my husband didn’t know what to say, and talking on the phone wasn’t enough. I finally found a counselor. It was amazing. She was neutral but sympathetic. After a few conversations, my head started to clear and I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel that all the bottled-up stress had been blocking. Just getting things off my chest made such a difference. Maybe this would be useful for you, too.
Please hang in there . . . and I mean that for you, yourself personally as well as for your husband.
You have my deepest sympathy for your troubles. I know it seems like you can’t get one crisis settled before the next one starts, but as Ski says, cherish each day and make it special. (hugs)
I’m so sorry! It sounds like you need to be held, rocked & petted while you cry it out for awhile. 🙁 I wish I were nearby enough to help. Barrdwing’s right, women really do need to talk. Ski’s right too, every moment is a gift, but if you can find someone to hold you while you cry it out and talk it out first, that might be best for you both. Your baby does feel everything you keep bottled in. If nothing else, maybe there is a counselor at the hospital you could talk to. Or even the people you work with, as they sounded pretty protective of you. If you need anything, you know we are here for you too.
Oh yes, I didnt even think of counseling. Just talking about it, or having a good cry can do the trick sometimes. I am so sorry you have to deal with this as well as the hormones from the baby. I am sure that is making you nervous enough, and add on your frustrations with the hospital and your hubbys health and its alot on your plate. Its a good idea to talk to a friend.
Can you ask the doctors where you go if there are any groups or counselors in the area? Sometimes the nurses are actually the best source for that info. Or if there is a CF support group in the area.
I think it is truly amazing what you have gone through and still have a sense of humor. You are obviously a very strong, loving person. But everyone has a breaking point when they can use a little help from their friends or family. Or just need a time out to sit and cuddle with their OW. *sends mental hugs*
I’m very sorry to hear about that, purpledoggy. I am still keeping your family in my prayers. Hang in there.
I am sorry to hear that as well. I had to go thru the same thing with my bf. He had a blood clot going from his knee to his ankle. He still isn’t back to full speed and it has been about 8 months since it has happened. The doctors told him that he could have surgery to pull it out, but again that is expensive. You might want to check and see if that is a option. I do agree with Ski that it should be a blessing that your hubby is still around. And I know when I have someone to talk to then I do feel better.
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