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My sympathy is with you and your family. My mother was diagnosed in her mid 60’s with Alzheimer’s and she lived over 20 years with it. The last 10 she was in a nursing home in a vegative state but since she had been such a healthy person all her life she was very strong and just hung on. I know this may sound harsh and cruel but I hope you and your family doesn’t have to go through this for years and years because it is very hard on the famly moreso than on the patient because they don’t realize what is happening at the end stages. She passed away in 1997 and today there has been so much more research and drugs to help control the disease for a long tme. I hope someday soon they fnd a cure for Alzheimer’s
My father had this disease for 7 years. He was very difficult at best, was hallucinating, believing we were kidnapping him, stealing from him, refusing to get out of the car at night because he didn’t recognize his house, threatening to bite us and break our arms, telling us he hated us, etc., then became very loving and cooperative. My sister, my stepmother, and I were his caregivers, and occasionally my brother. It was a very hard time. It helped when we learned not to take anything personally, that it was the disease that was talking, not him. We talked to him when his “window” was open and worked around him when it was closed and didn’t get mad at him because it wasn’t really him talking, etc.
There is very good book called “The 36 hour day” which addresses the problems of being a caregiver for people with Alzheimers or senility. There are also support groups for caregivers that are very helpful so the caregivers don’t feel that they are all alone in this struggle and they can express their feelings openly with others who understand about the negative feelings that come up. They can usually be located in the local hospital and/or hospice.
It’s good that your father seems to be a person who is natively ok. My dad was natively aggressive so he became more that way, and very independent, so he fought giving up his independence and allowing others to help him.
Yes, it is one of the most stressful things about life and we learn a lot about ourselves going through it and yes we do get through it.
Take very good care of yourself (diet, exercise, sleep, water, vitamins B especially, and breaks), accept help from others, and breathe a lot! Hang in there, you won’t go crazy, and you will be stronger for it.
Big hugs and warm thoughts!I just happened to think about this. When my mother was diagnosed I went to a series of support group meetings and one of the most important thinkgs I learned was – while they are still able get a Durable Power of Attorney from them. This enables you to make all decisions when they no longer can. A Power of Attorney only covers this while they still are able to make their own decisions.
We already did all that – it was one of the first things the doctor suggested.
Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. It helps a lot.
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmBelieve me, I know what it’s like to be a caregiver and the stress it puts upon you. You have my support as well.
from my dad-in-law who is experiencing this with his mum. Hope it helps 🙂
Live with laughter and love with all your heart…….
The Rain
It was a busy
Morning, about 8:30, when an elderly
Gentleman in his 80’s arrived to have
Stitches removed from his thumb.
He said he was in a hurry as he had an
Appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital
Signs and had him take a seat,
Knowing it would be over an hour
Before someone
Would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and
Decided, since I
Was not busy with another patient,
I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was
Well healed, so I talked to one of the
Doctors, got the needed supplies to
Remove his sutures and redress his wound.While taking care of
His wound, I asked him if he
Had another doctor’s appointment
This morning, as
He was in such a hurry.The gentleman told me no, that he
Needed to go to
The nursing home to eat breakfast
With his wife. I inquired as to her
Health.He told me that she had been there
For a while and that she
Was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.As we
Talked, I asked if she would be
Upset if he was a bit late.He
Replied that she no longer knew
Who he was, that she had not
Recognized him in
Five years now.I was surprised, and asked him,
‘And you still go every
Morning, even though she
Doesn’t know who you are?’He smiled as he
Patted my hand and said,‘She doesn’t
Know me, but I still know who she is.’I had to hold back
Tears as he left, I had goose bumps
On my arm, and thought,‘That is
The kind of love I want in my life.’True love is
Neither physical, nor romantic.True love is an
Acceptance of all that is,
Has been, will be, and will not
Be.With all the jokes
And fun that are in e-mails,
Sometimes there is one that comes
Along that has an
Important message..
This one I thought I could share with you.The
Happiest people don’t necessarily
Have the best of everything;
They just make
The best of everything they have.I hope you share this with someone you
Care about. I just did..‘Life isn’t about
How to survive the storm,
But how to dance
In the rain.’
We are all getting Older
Tomorrow may be our turn.twindragonsmum 🙂
tdm
I am just finding this now dragonmedley, but I can tell you I know exactly how you feel. I know the eventually feeling, and the sudden, OMG I really am going too loose him, and I also know the pain of the end, pain, and as hard as it is the relief, knowing that he is free now of his body. With my Dad it was ALS, Lou Gehrig’s Disease, I watched what was once the strongest person I know go from an avid golfer, carpenter, artist, businessman and family provider to not even being able to breathe, smile or talk. I cant tell you the last actual words my dad spoke to me, because they were several months before he passed away, but I am sure that they were good-bye and I Love You because I was leaving to come back home. While my Dads struggle was short, 18 months from diagnosis and about 20 months from his first symptoms, it was hard to watch knowing that I was powerless to change it, or help in any way. Treasure every minute you have with him, even if its only watching TV, and as drgnlvr said always remember not to take anything personally. (why dont we have a hugging smiley?)
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