New Job Woes

[drag0nfeathers]

Hello everyone

As some of you may have already known, I lost at Home Depot back in the end February. I was nearing my 7 year anniversary with the company and I was pretty blown away to say the least when I got canned. I have never even been written up in the entire time I had been there, not once. Also I was late twice ever and averaged about 1 call out a year (if that) and it was mostly do to when I had to let a furbaby go and wasn’t able to work without breaking out into tears. I think I was only actually sick once.

Anyway, I started working at a direct competitor about 2 months ago. I tried to give it a chance and have been sticking it out hoping my feelings would change. I have to say though… I am really not a fan. *sigh* The job itself is fine, it’s not as if it is too hard or too easy. The commute is not something I can seem to get used to, (about 40 minutes each way) but it’s not that either. The people who work here seem to have the personality of a dry mop. It’s just so … bleh. Every day is just bleh. I get up and have a bleh day with bleh people and go home in a bleh mood. I just don’t like it. I feel bad complaining because they actually pay me better then Home Depot did. (after the gas for the commute it doesn’t really make a difference though) but still. I dunno. I miss Home Depot. I miss all my old coworkers and the fun times we had there.

There is one example that sticks out in my mind to describe this feeling. So, on Memorial Day weekend I worked. Just as I do most holidays working in retail. We had a cookout for the employees and everyone just stood in a line, very quietly, grabbed their food and sat down at the break tables. Nobody sitting together, everyone a chair or wo apart from eachother. Nobody talking, no noise at all except the rustling of bags of chips opening and the sound of people chewing or clearing their throats. It was really unconfortable. Once I got my food I sat down for a moment observing everyone strugging to avoid eye contact. I ended up bringing my plate out to my car and eating out there.

During this time while sitting in my truck, my cell phone went off with a short video I was sent from my old boss at Home Depot. It was her along with all my old coworkers (even the manager who terminated me) all sitting outside the store on a picnic table also having a cookout. They were all yelling hello and waving their arms to me and saying they missed me. It almost brought me to tears.

Maybe it’s because I am still new. I just can’t see myself ever developing relationships like that ever again with my coworkers and I guess I’m just really bummed out that after all my time invested in a company, it’s not all the earned paid time off I accumulated, or other job perks related with being there as long as I was. It was just all the people.

I wish I was better at maintaining friendships in real life. I really only have work friends and online friends so maybe that’s why I find it so depressing. I was never a “going out” kind of person. I am very much a homebody. I have tried many many times to change this about myself but I have never been able to. I assume it’s some type of social anxiety. I don’t even like simple things like going out to eat much because I get all twisted in my stomach eating in front of strangers. I still do it, but I always need persisting.

Not sure if my two problems are related or not. I don’t think of myself of not being able to function socially, I just prefer to not be as social as most people. I have tried to break the ice with a few people here and I’ll crack a joke or somethign hoping to maybe get a positive reaction and maybe make a few close aquaintances here at my new job, but most of my humor so far has just been met with strange looks so far.

Any ideas out there on how I can try and break the ice with any of my new coworkers?

Just yesterday I think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I happened to walk into a conversation about furries and put my 2 cents in about how what they were saying were gross misrepresentations and steriotypes. Of course that was met with a “how do you know so much about it?” so I mentioned how I cosplay at anime and sci fi cons. I think that probably set me back a bit >_<

Got a busted Windstone?
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*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
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Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[dragonmedley]

Ah, if the general “feel” is characterless, it’s a tough one. That was the case at my previous workplace, particularly in my department.

One of the girls went on mat leave and I clicked with her replacement. I worked there for over a year and to this day, she’s the only one I stayed in contact with after I left. Sad, huh?

But that’s the only way – find the 1 or 2 people that you get along with and go from there. So what if the rest is morose? As long as you get that one person with whom you can at least identify, talk to, or whatever, it’ll help.

Maybe it is because you’re new… some groups are just not as open to newcomers for some odd reason, so time is the only remedy.

Hugs!!!

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[drag0nfeathers]

Yea, I’m sure you’re right.

There is this one guy in the neighboring department that really gets under my skin. He works nearly the same schedule as I do so I work most often with him. Thus, I’ve been trying to get along with him. He’s sort of intimidating just off the bat. He’s a brick *hit house and towers over me (I’m short anyway) He’s been here for 15 years, basically knows everything. If I’m struggling to do something or moving slowly because I’m not familiar (like flying through menu prompts when selling an item for example, while I stop and read every menu because I haven’t memorized the menu prompts yet) you can see the irritation in his face. I’ll offer to help with something and even before I am finished with my sentance I hear an abrupt “NOPE!” I feel like I’m more of an annoyance then a co worker. I’ve said to people “I think he hates me” and everyone just tells me that’s how he is and to try and just let it bother me. He makes me feel special… and not like… I’m special cause I’m the new girl… special like I forgot my helmet at home special!

I knew how to do everything at Depot, computer and order errors, what to do when vendors screw up. I could handle many customer issues without the problem ever even getting to managment. Here, I’m totally lost, but I want to learn so I ask questions and I feel like when I ask a question it’s met with skeptcism on wondering if I am even competent enough to tie my own shoes in the morning. *sigh* So far I haven’t screwed anything up thus far so I can’t be doing that bad, but I still feel like everyone hates me for some unknown reason. It could be as simple as I came from a direct competitor and just that is bothersome to some people. Like I switched sides to a team who didn’t want me in the there in the first place.

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[Dragoneer_88]

Maybe they’ll warm up to you over time? It could be they’re cautious because you’re the “newbie” and they can’t figure you out so easily. Maybe sit back and listen to the conversations, if there are any, then chime in when they say something you can relate with. Like if they start complaining about a husband, boyfriend, kids, bad movies, pay, etc., chime in with a similar complaint about your situation and how you can relate to them. People are self absorbed these days and they love to complain (tis my opinion) so if you can make it seem like you “care” about their situation, maybe they’ll start being more receptive to you later. I don’t know if it’ll help, but it’s worth a shot. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. At least you can say you tried more than they did.

Could top management be the source of the poo-poo attitudes everyone has? Also, for the most part, there’s always going to be that “one” person that’s a jerk to work with, no matter where you go. If you just can’t stand it, see of you can find another job.

Maybe take a look back. Can you think back to your early years at Home Depot? How did you go about making friends when you first started? What kind of conversations did you have with other people? See if you can remember something that will help with your current situation.

[Lauren]

Retail is one of those places where people come and go so often, they may not realize yet that you’re a face that is going to stick around. Maybe give it a bit more time?

That said, the people who were making fun of furries, or this dude that is constantly irritated with you for not knowing the ropes… I know it’s easy for me to say this, not being in your position, but I think you’re better off not friends with people like that. Or could be, anyway. Maybe they’re actually really nice people, but if they’re not, and they’re very close-minded or judgmental of you and your hobbies, that just seems to me likely to make you miserable. I would say keep looking for signs of kindness in your other coworkers for now; you could always try getting on with these guys again later when you’re starting to feel more comfortable and confident in the work and work atmosphere.

I like Dragoneer’s suggestions. Is there anyone else who was new/hired roughly around the same time as you? You might have more success bonding with someone who may be having similar acclimating experiences. You could also try suggesting other fun things your coworkers might enjoy, like seeing a movie together as a group or a bowling night…?

[Skeeterdeee]

I had a job that made me feel the exact same way! My supervisor seemed to get annoyed with having a newb and on two different occasions he flipped out on me for asking how something should be done. That absolutely terrified me, I was scared to do anything because I may be doing it wrong and he may come around and yell at me again (I mean actual yelling and name calling)! As soon as someone would say “go ask Marc” I got a nauseous feeling and wanted to hide in a corner and cry. All the other employees seemed to be organized in cliques and I found myself off in dark corners of the store alone most of the time. Not long after I started they hired a new guy and immediately he came and sat by ME! Every free minute that we had we would go find each other. For the first month of two I was petrified of having to go to work, but once I made a friend suddenly I found myself talking to more of my coworkers (maybe since I already had a friend I didn’t give a rat’s butt if they liked me or not) and eventually I became friends with most of the people on my shift.
I think if you find just one person, another newb or just one friendly face, suddenly the whole place will be a lot more tolerable. Until then…you have us! 🙂 ((HUG))

[drag0nfeathers]

HAH… I only laugh cause the guy I’m trying to befriend who I think secretly wants to impale me on a stake in his front yard is named Marc too!

Thanks skeeter, and everyone. I know it will probably just take time. In the meantime I’ve been posting quite a lot during my shifts just because I literally have nothing to do and nobody to talk to during my down time. I dread when winter rolls in not only because of the drive, but a lack of somewhere warm to eat my lunch. I want to try and transfer to a location closer to home before then. *crosses fingers*

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[Kim]

Man, reading that I feel your pain and awkwardness. It’s hart to meet new friends and break into new groups especially when you were around other co-workers and friends for several years. I kind of felt like that in high school when all my friends from elementary ditched me over some drama one girl created and I didn’t have a group to sit with at lunch anymore. I would go into the bathroom or walk around school alone and awkward. I tried making new friends and sat with other groups at lunch but didn’t fit into any of them so kind of became a loner. I ended up leaving that school and going to another after not succeeding for two years. I started developing more social anxiety I think after high school. Even now in work and church situations I feel like that sometimes as well. I tend to stick to myself unless I meet someone I think is really nice and genuine and worth befriending. I don’t try super hard to be friends with everyone though as it takes all the energy out of me. Sometimes you will unfortunately end up in situations with a bunch of other introverted or unsocial people but that may be because they feel the same as you. Sometimes it is worth putting yourself out there a little at a time and trying to talk to the others to see if they appreciate you making the first effort. If they don’t make the effort back though, at least you tried. If nothing works you don’t have to be friends with all of them. You could focus more on customers and meeting new people like that. If it doesn’t improve it may be worth it to check out other locations to find people you may get along with better. If not I would say maybe try joining some social groups where you live to meet people with common interests. Meetup.com is pretty popular here with lots of different groups you can join to meet like minded people. Hope things get better!

Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!

[Setsunawolf]

Hugs Drag0n. I am going through something similar. I changed jobs about 6 months ago and went from knowing everything to knowing nothing. It really eats at your self-confidence. On top of that my co-workers were making snide comments about me, and I overheard them. They thought they were being quiet enough that I wouldn’t hear. That was a real confidence booster. Once I informaed my manger that I was overhearing those comments, they stopped. She looked like I had hit her in the back of the head with a 2×4 when I commented on thier comments. Apparently, she knew they were doing it but didn’t know I had overheard them.

I have been transfered to a diffent location and things are better. But it sucks going from knowing how to everything to everything being new.

Looking for Blue Fawn Baby Kirin
Sanguine Oriental Test Paints, kinglet
Sun Dragon Koi #3

[drag0nfeathers]

Yea setsuna. You described it pretty perfectly.

Today wasn’t so bad. My immediate boss is kind of a jerk, but the manager above that seems to be really nice so far as well as the store manager. I actually found out today that someone had made some sort of comment about the store manager spending a bunch of money on trying to save his 18 year old cat. It got back to him apparently and he sort of told off the fellow who was commenting on wasting his money and he has asked why didn’t he just put the cat to sleep? My store manager replied with “well, would you just put one of your children to sleep if it was sick?”

That made me sort of happy that he’s an animal lover. Usually in these sorts of places the managers are really cold and not too compassionate about that kind of thing. That was refreshing at least.

I have already experienced the other thing you mentioned as well setsuna. I was walking over to a group of employees who all “hush hushed” as I approached. I don’t know if it was because they were talking about me, or if it was just a conversation that may have been thought of as inappropriate cause it was all guys and I’m sure they don’t know if I’m one of those “sensative” types who might complain if they were talking about something that wasn’t too PC. I’m not one of those kinds of females who complain and try and get people thrown into sensativity training or sexual harassment training or whatever, but it’s not like they know that. *shrug* Maybe I’m just being paranoid.

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

[Mercury Star]

*huge hugs* I have severe social anxiety, and almost a year in I still don’t feel like I really fit in at my job, so I understand on some level what you are going through. I don’t have any real life friends, only online ones. I get that paranoia, too, even still. Doesn’t help that one of my coworkers is mad at me right now, and she is acting like a small child over it (she was undermining me by doing my job instead of her own, so I reported her, cause dammit I need to work, too, and everyone else always makes me feel like I don’t do anything as it is).

At least my coworkers understand the love one has for pets, my manager let me take the day off yesterday since we had just lost one of our dogs, and my coworkers gave me a condolence card today.

But mostly though I feel miserable, since I can’t seem to do my job effectively. No one listens to me or takes my position seriously, and as noted I have one coworker who keeps deciding my job is easier and more “fun” to do than her own, so often I have to fight just to get work done.

[Setsunawolf]

Maybe I’m just being paranoid.

Just because you’re paranoid it doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.

But mostly though I feel miserable, since I can’t seem to do my job effectively. No one listens to me or takes my position seriously, and as noted I have one coworker who keeps deciding my job is easier and more “fun” to do than her own, so often I have to fight just to get work done.

Sorry to hear that. I know what that is like as well. It sucks not to be taken seriously.

Looking for Blue Fawn Baby Kirin
Sanguine Oriental Test Paints, kinglet
Sun Dragon Koi #3

[drag0nfeathers]

I’m sorry Mercury Star. I’ve been in that position before as well when I was a manager at Suncoat (a movie/music store) I got walked all over all the time, but it ended up sort of being my own fault because I never held people accountable when I should have. I usually had a “if you want it done right, do it yourself” mentality (I alsmost still think like that) So thinking back I could have probably been a better delegator. You want to put your foot down, but you also don’t want to cause tension with your coworkers. It’s a tough spot top be in, sorry you’re stuck in that situation. It’s never an easy fix.

Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs*

*SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons

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