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I’m not sure I have anything to add. But if she complains that you’re treating her like a 5 year old, my first response would be, “I wouldn’t treat you like one if you didn’t act like one.”
Definitely keep her out of your room. Start hanging out at her place and rearrange her things. See how she likes it. 😈
😆 Thank you, everyone. See, I knew it, you understand. And now I feel better about the “stay out” policy on my room, too. I have a feeling the only reason my family and other friends didn’t call me crazy for being so protective of the Windstones is that they DO know how much the things cost.
This friend and I have gone ’round before on respect issues… she’s just one of those loud, aggressive personalitites. It’s just the way she is, and usually it doesn’t bother me. So hopefully she won’t notice that I’m steering all company to the kitchen table, or the livingroom instead 8)
When I get my own place the first thing I buy will be a proper display with doors you can close (and preferably lock). I defy anyone to ask me outright to unlock the curio so they can fondle my dragons!
And if I ever do find a cheap, possibly the worse for wear Windstone at a garage sale or flea market, she gets it. Maybe a hatcher, since my little emerald fella seems to be her favorite to mess with. She may get the irony or she may not, but I think she’d like it either way.
Exactly. And even if she does notice, you don’t have to say why, or make the reason personal. A simple “It’s really too small/too dark/not enough room in there” or “lately I’ve had some problems with the cats knocking stuff over” is a perfectly reasonable way to explain why you’d rather be somewhere else. You don’t have to attack her or hurt her feelings.
If she pushes it, be firm — “no, I’d really rather not go in there today, so let’s stay out here or go somewhere else.” Aggressive personalities can learn to take No for an answer; just don’t bend or let it escalate into emotional/personal levels.
I don’t let my five-year-old cousin go in my room, because I have expensive things in there and I am not a paid babysitter — I’m not going to follow him around and watch him constantly. You’re not your friend’s babysitter, and she doesn’t want to be treated like a child, so keeping her out sounds like the best solution for everybody.
Megani-chan wrote:she’s just one of those loud, aggressive personalitites. It’s just the way she is, and usually it doesn’t bother me. So hopefully she won’t notice that I’m steering all company to the kitchen table
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I think everybody has covered this very well. I was wondering if you could put a lock on the door to your room and make sure it is locked when she is expected. If she asks why tell her it is because she can’t keep her hands off your Windstones even tho you have repeatedly asked her to.
mmloda wrote:Hey there
Yeah that’s rough…I would suggest maybe putting a sign on each shelf that states “PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH” and see if that helpsIt very well might! Hmm, I wonder if my cats would read it too and quit sitting on the shelves…?
Dragon Master wrote:You can also try if you have not already that these are collectibles and MUST be in MINT condition and even a Scratch will de value it. OR even ask her to pay you each time she touches one to pay for the rapairs that they might have to go thru
I’d raise a lot of money that way, let me tell you! Everyone who comes in has to pet the dragons. “Hey, YOU!! No free dragon petting!” 😆
But yeah, my peacock scratcher was perfectly mint until the rock incident 🙁 Not that I would ever sell any of them unless I had to, but the fact that they usually sell for quite a bit is one of the ways I justify buying such expensive collectibles to myself. And even a few tiny marks make it not mint anymore. Now I’ve got to find paint that matches and touch him up.
I can tell you that if someone came into my home and treated my things like that, I would say something. Keeping her out of your room is the most politically correct thing to do.
Have you thought that possibly she is jealous because you have nice things and she is messing with them on purpose?
I hate to be a cynic, but some people are like that. If someone has extra money to buy nice things, they will purposely try to damage them.
I have seen a lot of people who key scratch nicer cars just because they don’t have something nice, so they don’t want you to have something nice.
I am not saying your friend is like that…but really, you have asked her many times and she actually damaged something that belongs to you. And you are worried about her friendship..she should be worried about your friendship. I am sure if you damaged something important to her, you would be a horrible person.
Just my take on things….sometimes people can be really mean.
keschete wrote:I have seen a lot of people who key scratch nicer cars just because they don’t have something nice, so they don’t want you to have something nice.
That’s the truth! About 10 years ago, someone did that to my new car ~1 month after I got it — it happened in the space of ~10 min while I ran into my usual supermarket to get something.
Luckily nothing like that has happened since, but I’ve always wondered what kind of sick person would do something like that to someone they don’t even know.
keschete wrote:I can tell you that if someone came into my home and treated my things like that, I would say something. Keeping her out of your room is the most politically correct thing to do.
Have you thought that possibly she is jealous because you have nice things and she is messing with them on purpose?
I hate to be a cynic, but some people are like that. If someone has extra money to buy nice things, they will purposely try to damage them.
I have seen a lot of people who key scratch nicer cars just because they don’t have something nice, so they don’t want you to have something nice.
I am not saying your friend is like that…but really, you have asked her many times and she actually damaged something that belongs to you. And you are worried about her friendship..she should be worried about your friendship. I am sure if you damaged something important to her, you would be a horrible person.
Just my take on things….sometimes people can be really mean.
Glad someone said it, I was thinking the same thing about being jealous. Everyone wants what you have… I have noticed that in some people that I know.
keschete wrote:Have you thought that possibly she is jealous because you have nice things and she is messing with them on purpose?
I have thought that, keschete, unfortunately 🙁 Sometimes she will flat out make comments like “wow, wish *I* had that kind of money,” even if I or one of our friends buy something as simple as a new book to celebrate payday. She’s had to support herself almost from the time she was of legal age to hold a job, and most if not all of her money goes toward bills, gas, and school. I understand how she must feel, but it isn’t like I rub what I have in anyone’s face. I think she forgets sometimes that I do work hard for the money I have, and the only reason I don’t have student loans is that I worked hard in high school to get scholarships for college. I pay for my own cell phone, my own gas, my pets’ needs, etc.
*sigh* Oh, well. She’s still one of my best friends and we’ll get through this… even if I have to padlock my bedroom door closed.
Slap her. She is supposed to be your friend?? Whatev!! A friend would not discount your wishes and damage your stuff like that. You should not have to buy more furniture to keep an ADULT from touching things. Sounds like she is selfish and self centered. I would not allow someone like that at my house anymore. And I still think you should slap her.
You are a far better friend than I would be… the first time that someone came into my house and handled things roughly and such they would be asked to stop… IF they kept doing it, they would be asked to leave and not to come back until they grew up.
I haven’t been able to buy windstones until here recently… if I had a friend that had them already and a really nice collection, I would look but I would not touch unless it was handed to me. I’d look at it them hand it back to them to put up. It’s called respect.skigod377 wrote:Slap her. She is supposed to be your friend?? Whatev!! A friend would not discount your wishes and damage your stuff like that. You should not have to buy more furniture to keep an ADULT from touching things. Sounds like she is selfish and self centered. I would not allow someone like that at my house anymore. And I still think you should slap her.
Thank you!!! I wish i’d been brave enought to say it! Well said!
Good advice offered here from the forum and I definitely add my voice to the “remove your friend from the Windstones” advice.
I had one of the Pearl griffin chicks sitting on my desk at work. Some joker would come into the building (which only a few of us have keys to that specific building) and move the stuff on my desk around…including the Windstone. The first time, I laughed it off, even though NO ONE could tell me who did it (which I find really surprising as the Supply area HAS to be kept under watch). But it kept happening…I would find the Pearl chick placed in a drawer, or sitting on the windowsill, or put under the desk on my computer tower. (Walking in to my office to discover the chick missing just about gave me a heart attack that first time, I tell you)
It stopped being funny very, very quickly.
My solution? The Pearl chick came back home to roost with the rest of his family. 😛
Even when someone doesn’t have ADD, they can still be jerks.
Windstone collector in remission. 😉
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