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Ok, calmed down quite a bit since I first read this…..My first instict was to be like “Drag0n, I love you, but I know where you live and his balls are going to be hanging by a fish hook from a metal rod on your roof like a windsock as soon as I can drive my butt across the country” But….I realized this was a little over dramatic and took some time to think about how I would handle the situation once I’d destroyed something….Like a tree, or a large rock with a stick of dynamite….
Anyway…putting it in terms of my relationship with Louis, if it was something that he’d obviously had from before we were dating and I found it on any of the computers, I’d be a bit irked at first, but we’d have a nice calm sit down chat and I’d give him the chance to explain himself. If it was obvious that the pictures were from the timeframe that we’d been together, there would be some holy hell raining down. I mean I’d still give him the chance to explain, but I wouldn’t be nearly as nice about it and I certaintly wouldn’t be as understanding (more of the attitude “You’ve got ONE shot to explain this really well or we’re gonna have painful problems…”)
The fact that it was on your laptop, while worrysome isn’t as profound as it could seem…From the point of computer forensics (One of our best friends does this for a living), he could have very well, when his computer was down, used your laptop to get rid of some old pictures and deleted them onto your computer. If the recovery software is as good as you say, it could have very well dug them up out of some archived trash file. You may want to look into this further, but I’m just saying that from a technical standpoint his story is feasable. Do you have any way to tell how long they’ve been there? I’m sure you’ve deleted them, but if you can give me a file path I can do some research.
Now to the moral/emotional side of things, I think that he was wrong to just brush you off like that when you requested/demanded an explanation. IMHO you were in every right to confront him about it, especialy if cheating was previously stated as grounds for break-up. While it is a trust issue, I think that this instance is more of a respect issue….both of self respect and of respect for you. Ok, he’s got the right to be “care-free” and lazy about money and bills, but NOT when it hurts you and/or your relationship, and that spills over into him brushing it off….if he doesn’t respect you enough to give you a straight answer about something that is and has been apparently important to you, then he has no respect for you at all, and any support he has given you in the past has been purely coincidental to getting something out of you. While this may be mutualy benificial at times, it’s not healthy, and certaintly does not denote a working relationship. Once again IMHO.
None of us, your friends or your family can force you to leave Shaun, and it really has to do with what you can tollerate in the relationship, but from the sounds of it despite the good things you have to say, there is that “tone” in how you write about the problems that says one of these days enough is going to be enough. What are you going to do then? I know I for one will be here for you no matter what you decide, but I think that you should sit down and evaluate whether you can continue to live with what he’s doing, because he certaintly doesn’t seem like he wants to change any time soon. And to be honest this whole thing of the pictures seems to be just the tip of the iceburg so to speak, so while it in itself presents an issue, how does it relate to the rest of the relationship.
Ok, off my soapbox. We love you dear and send you big hugs that everything turns out all right for you!
And now that I’m late and you’ve already had your talk…./sigh….I hope this may help in retrospect!
drag0nfeathers wrote:Hehe… I was just rememebering the first time I did that! I told him just that! I was like “You know the BEST thing about having a license!?” all sarcastic like. I took my cell phone and slammed it down on the table front of his eyes so he would know there was no way to get a hold of me and grabbed my bag and stomped out the door, jumped in the car and squealed the tires down the street.
It felt SOOO GOOD! I felt soooo FREE if only for a few minutes. It then dawned on me…. where the hell do I go? I couldn’t call anyone! LOL! I’m not realy the type to just drop by someones house unannounced either. Plus I was MAD and didn’t want to go and spew my problems all over anyone. So I went to Michael’s to do some craft shopping for Keeper pendants and random odds and ends & at the same time cool down a little. I remember I got some those nice display cases for my Black and Tan Griffin Chicks Jennifer painted that same day! I got home like an hour and a half later and he was on the porch waiting for me. When he asked me where I went, I just said “Michaels” and he screamed “WHO THE ***K IS MICHAEL?!?!?!”
HAHAHAHA! I couldn’t even fight with him anymore. It was hysterical! 😆
Craft paint = $25
Stone pendants and chains = $50
Your boyfriend screaming “Who the F**k is Michael?” = PRICELESS XDSorry Drag0n, but I was so upset by the first few posts and all the answers back that when I hit that one, I almost woke my son up laughing! 😳
On another note…I had a boyfriend for about 2 months…I gave him 3 weeks to find a job…ANY job to bring in money since he ate EVERYTHING, slept ALL the time, and I had to pay all the bills. He went to a temp agency and got a temp job. Worked 7 days and then told them he wanted to put in his 2 weeks instead of gong back to the agency and asking for something different. Um…after that one week he sat around for 4 more weeks. Finally I gave him $90 and told him to pack as much as he could into his car, and get into the wind (Because I wasn’t paying for the damn Uhaul again!)…It took 3 days of bit***ng non stop to get rid of him, but if someone is to ignorant to go back to a TEMP agency and ask for a different placement…And, I found out that he basically does this with all women, AFTER I gave him the boot. Heh. Waste of time. I hope your Shaun is different….I sure do. :yes:
*hugs*Drag0n, I’m the last person who could give you advice on this topic but I had to laugh at your “Michaels” escapade too. Gotta say, though – if I need to let off steam, I go for a drive too – and I generally don’t need to go anywhere. It’s nice to just follow the road.
I’ll go back to watching now – can’t say I’m not interested. Best of luck!Hehe, thanks guys. I usually try to make light of most situations I’m stressed out about. 😳
Things seem a little weird, but back to normal in a sense too. I’m making sure he doesn’t forget what I said and reminding him that this is NOT just going to blow over like most other things do.
Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs**SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry DragonsA little bit late on the ball…. but the other people brought about good points. He does need to know that this will NOT blow over.
There could be a perfectly innocent explanation, but if there is… why the dodging? I can’t really give advice though… that’s what the other people are here for!!! 😆
And we’re all here for you, whether you vent, or whatever you decide to do about the situation.
And I had to laugh at your Michaels post… that was priceless. 😆
I still say you should let me come kick his @**…..It would at least make my migraine feel better…. 😆 🙄 🙄
I’m glad you both had a talk. I’m not going to give my 2 cents or anything; you know your relationship and what you can tolerate far better than I. But I’m always here to listen if you need an ear. 🙂
dragonmedley wrote:Michael is a dear friend to all of us here 😀
So true 😀
LOL I’d had a similar funny moment with my boyfriend :
Him: “What’d you do today babe?”
Me: “I went to Michaels and had the greatest time!”
Him (in a pissy tone): “…who is Michael?”
I told him it was the name of a craft store here and he didn’t sound like he believed me. He still gets quiet when I say I’ve gone or am going to Michaels (although I think Michaels are in every state, so he should have one in his state too, no?)
I agree with everyone else on the advice and stuff. Can’t give you any advice of my own, I’m a newbie when it comes to guys. Currently on boyfriend number 2 <3 , and number 1 was a HUGE disappointment after 4 years </3 🙁 (why don't things stay great?) 🙁
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