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Can someone tell me what to say to my fiancee to get him to not take me out on my birthday?
I do really want to just go out, have a nice meal, etc, but none of us can afford it. We can barely afford food right now. And Ryan is getting sick of covering for us on rent because we ran out of money.
I wish we could worry about something other then finances for once, but that’s all our conversations come back to, we can’t afford this, we can’t afford that. For instance I need new shoes since I wrecked my only non-sandal shoes at work (I paint so now they are completely gone). But of course I can’t afford that. I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford my next batch on insulin, or what will happen to Kimi (our cat) if we find something is wrong with her on Wednesday (she seems to be unable to make it to the litterbox). Heck at this rate I won’t be able to afford to go to school next fall.
I know this just seems like it’s nothing big but it’s really getting me down and it seems like there’s nothing I can do. I’ve resorted to begging – BEGGING, mind you, my grandparents for money. At this rate I may have to sell some of my windstones – and I got those for gifts. There’s only two that I bought myself.
I feel so down about this, and I’m trying to keep optimistic and I’m trying to keep Colin optimistic but it’s really not working.
I’m sorry you probably don’t want to read this, but I needed to vent.
*hugs* Money can be a huge cause for stress. Maybe for your birthday you can buy some food at the store and spend the evening cooking and enjoying it together? Maybe choose ingredients that aren’t necessarily expensive, but ones that are different than what you normally buy? That way the occasion is still marked as special, but without the expense of going out.
I hope things turn around for you. I get almost all my shoes at thrift stores, sometimes for $0.50. If there’s a Salvation Army, Goodwill or equivalent in your neighborhood, that’s where I’d look for shoes. You never know what you might find!
See where you can cut expenses. My hubby and I don’t have cable television in order to save money. And in all honesty it’s made a positive impact on our lives to not have it.
*hugs* Keep thinking positive, and try not to stress about it. I know what it’s like to worry about money. But hang in there, and keep communication with your fiance open. Don’t let the money come between you both.
I know exactly where you are coming from… maybe suggest that bills and the not fun stuff get paid first. Then when things are better then dinner out would be grand.
A nice home cooked meal to me means more than dinner out….
I hope things get better for you.
Dragon87 wrote:Can someone tell me what to say to my fiancee to get him to not take me out on my birthday?
Assuming you have a TV and some movies, pick out a good movie you’ve not seen in a while. Look at what you have in the house to eat, and see if you can come up with something a little unusual to prepare. Tell your fiance you have already planned a night in together and you’re both going to dress up for the occasion.
It would work on me, anyway, even if the meal was red beans and rice.
The Castle [Dave wrote:“]
Dragon87 wrote:Can someone tell me what to say to my fiancee to get him to not take me out on my birthday?
Assuming you have a TV and some movies, pick out a good movie you’ve not seen in a while. Look at what you have in the house to eat, and see if you can come up with something a little unusual to prepare. Tell your fiance you have already planned a night in together and you’re both going to dress up for the occasion.
It would work on me, anyway, even if the meal was red beans and rice.
Next question: How do I get Nikita and Ryan out of the house for this…? Actually Ryan might be out of town but Nikita probably won’t be. Ah, maybe I can get him to visit his dad.
I hate money and stress… I especially hate worrying about both when my birthday is rolling around. AH whatever.
I’m gonna go sleep now or something…
I need to get you a copy of “The complete Tightwad Gazette” by Amy Dacyczyn
When I lost my job in late 2005 due to my employer firing me because I was pregnant, we found ourselves in a very tight financial situation. I couldn’t do anything to the employer, they covered their ass by offering me FMLA, and the fact that I was technically in my 6 month trial period as their out, add in that we are a “At will Work state”, which means they can fire you without cause.
Anyway, it is hard to get a job when you are obviously pregnant, so we were going to have to go 10 months without any income from me. Not good, we’d been just barely making it before.
Anyway I started hunting for ways to cut corners, etc, and found this book.
This book is wonderful. The author is short of amazing, the woman raised 6 kids, was a more or less stay at home mom, her husband made $30k a year and they still managed to save $49k of it in a seven year span.
This book got us through those 10 months where we had even less than we had had when I was employed. We made ends meet, paid our bills and had food, shelter and other necessities, good thing at that time I wasn’t collecting Windstones!
I still use this book frequently, and keep it always on hand in my kitchen.
It just might help you, not to mention a few others of us here.
I will see if I can find a copy for you, for starters you might want to do what I did when I couldn’t even afford the book and just borrow it from your local library.
Kyrin
The Castle [Dave wrote:“]
Dragon87 wrote:Can someone tell me what to say to my fiancee to get him to not take me out on my birthday?
Assuming you have a TV and some movies, pick out a good movie you’ve not seen in a while. Look at what you have in the house to eat, and see if you can come up with something a little unusual to prepare. Tell your fiance you have already planned a night in together and you’re both going to dress up for the occasion.
It would work on me, anyway, even if the meal was red beans and rice.
I like Dave’s way of thinking, no need to go out to have a good time. 😀 😀 😀 you’ll be less stressed over the cash at home anyway, and you being happy is what matters, right? 😀
I like the ideas, too. Tell him that taking you out would upset you and ask for a raincheck. Or you can tell him that you would prefer a picknick lunch at a pretty public park or lake. Just an idea.
Im broke right now, too. Just bounced a couple checks just to feed the dogs, so I know how you feel. Just let him him know that its not what you want right now.
I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. Everyone has some great ideas.
Personally, I love staying home for special occasions. I’m a pretty cheap date anyway, but it means more if Mike makes an effort to make something.When it was tight with us, we both had two jobs. Sucked, but it carried us through. We lived on Top Ramen, Mac N Cheese, Chey Boyardee, hotdogs, and the like. Dessert was Snickers. Mmmmm. Still love them!
Life normally gets better, you just have to sieze the opportunities!
I hear you Dragon87. I’m in the same sort of place, financially, only I am too proud to ask for money even when I should (sigh! stubborn…) I hope things work out for you.
I will have to look into that book Kyrin mentioned when I have a few spare dollars.
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My art: featherdust.comKyrin, Dave, and skigod said it best. Have a good time at home or in a park where you can just enjoy the pleasure of each others’ company. It’s your birthday, right? You guys should spend it doing what you want to do. And Stephanie’s right: cable is an excellent way to cut costs. We cut cable too years ago and don’t miss it. Check your phone bill too and see if there’s some options you can cut. Do you have Internet? If you do, is it possible for you to scale it down, or can you do without it completely? Some of my family members just go to the library for their Internet. I hope things turn around for you soon!
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