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Kyrin wrote:
I have to admit that I personally don’t understand why someone, especially a woman, wouldn’t want children. But I don’t think less of anyone who has made that choice, I just don’t get it.
There would be a major hole in my life if I hadn’t had mine, children were always something I wanted and even when they are being major pills, I am not sorry.
My dogs on the other hand make me sorry on a regular basis, vet bills, pissing on my carpet, etc. I much prefer cats, it’s hubby who is the dog person, but of course doesn’t train them or deal with the messes. 🙁
Kyrin
Same here 🙂 I would have loved to have had all seven kids and feel a bit nostalgic every time my “would have been” due date rolls around. On the other hand my sister never wanted or had kids but loves mine to death and that works for her. And Ditto on the husband and dogs. 🙄 We have two Labs and a Lab mix. Mostly outdoor dogs. And of course Alf who is not really a dog but a cat in a dogs body 😀 He’s never messed in the house, not even as a puppy, doesn’t smell “doggish” doesn’t drool and hates to be dirty. Doesn’t even bark in the house. gotta love that 🙂
On the other hand the Labs 🙄 I still love them, I just love them more outside. Sometimes that applies to the kids too 😈Kyrin wrote:I have to admit that I personally don’t understand why someone, especially a woman, wouldn’t want children. But I don’t think less of anyone who has made that choice, I just don’t get it.
Kyrin
See– Ironically I don’t get why someone would want to! 🙂 It could be that my body is just wired in a way that it doesn’t get keen on the idea. It’s natural to want to have kids (reproduce) so I know I’m an oddball.
Before I explain I want to make it clear that I respect and do not think less of anyone with views other than my own. I know I’m the strange one here! 😆
The whole idea of pregnancy and childbirth is simply horrific to me. I know it’s natural and it’s a miracle, but the whole idea gives me the jibblies.
Infants and toddlers bother me greatly. I have done a lot of babysitting, of all ages from newborns to teens, and truly they bother me. A crying child will get under my skin faster than anything else in the universe. If I am in public and someone has a child that is acting up or crying, I will tense up and not calm again until I am home.I tend to resent most children; but I would never, ever say or do anything the least bit harmful to a child. I have babysat and helped with children since I myself was one– my mother teaches at an elementary school and I often go help her– and I love to help her. But something in the back of my mind is screaming “Do no want!”. Even if it were my own, I know in my heart that I would not love a child the way it deserved to be loved by its mother. And, that is not fair to either myself or the child. To me, one of the greatest tragedies are children that do not grow up in a loving household. If there is even one bit of resentment a mother has for her child, it will come out sooner or later, which is exceptionally sad for the child.
I often hear the argument that ‘it’s different when it’s your own!’ — I will not argue that it is probably different for most people! But not for all. I have several friends that have become mothers and bear a great deal of resentment for not only the child, but what their life has become as a mother. My heart weeps for them, because nothing good can come of that situation for either the child or the mothers.
I know I would not be a good mother, and I have no desire to be a mother. 🙂
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My art: featherdust.comI totally get what you are saying Jennifer. Though I had always wanted kids, the thought of the whole childbirth thing gave me the ickies too. Patrick settled that one by not progressing and I had a C-section and I’m happy I did.
But when he was home and the crying/colic/hormones started, I thought I had made the biggest mistake I had ever made and was pretty much crying as much as the baby. Then with my six week check up I found I was pg with Ash and I cried even more! I never really enjoyed the parenting thing up until the kids were 3 and 4. The school part sucks and I hate homework!
Buuuuutt. I can’t imagine being 50 or 60 years old and not having a family. I mean when I’m that old, all I’ll have are my kids to visit during holidays and grandkids to come ride the ponies and and babysit for.
I dunno. Everyone has their own feelings and rightfully so! 🙂I’ve been looking through all the kids’ pictures and getting all nostalgic. So think of the Alan Jackson song… “Remember When”
Patrick and Ash (My favorite picture)
Patrick was the cutest little boy!
Me and Ash… Two peas in a pod!
The “Wha… I’m innocent” look
Prince…
Princess…
Me after a hard day!
I totally understand where you are coming from Jennifer, I feel the same way about childbirth…but than again I cannot stand any pain, and I faint at the sight of needles. Just thinking about it makes me feel :puke:
I have also been around alot of kids, whom I love, but I’ve also never had the disire to have one of my own. As I said before in my previous post I’ve pretty much brought up my younger brother and I don’t really wanna go through that again…I know, I know he only my brother but having to watch him every single day…and having to miss school to make sure someone is with him and the waking up in th middle of the night was quite tiring. But please don’t gte me wrong I LOVE my younger brother, it’s just having that responsability again would not be something that I want.
Marzena
I never wanted kids and neither did my husband and considering he passed away at age 34 I am glad we made the decision we did as I would have had to raise them on my own. Kids are OK but I am happy to see them when visiting somebody and then being able to go home to peace and quiet and my wonderful dog
Thanks for your post, Jennifer! I’m glad I’m not the only oddball! 😀
I have nightmares of having a baby…but then it usually turns in a monkey or a puppy or something, and I can handle it. 😈
I would be a very bad mother, period.
I do see kids and think one day I *might* want a kid, but… I don’t think so. Kids crying really get under my skin. When I’m on the bus, I cringe when I hear a kid crying. Kinda like what Jen said.
Perhaps one day. Just not anytime soon.
Jennifer wrote:Kyrin wrote:I have to admit that I personally don’t understand why someone, especially a woman, wouldn’t want children. But I don’t think less of anyone who has made that choice, I just don’t get it.
Kyrin
See– Ironically I don’t get why someone would want to! 🙂 It could be that my body is just wired in a way that it doesn’t get keen on the idea. It’s natural to want to have kids (reproduce) so I know I’m an oddball.
Before I explain I want to make it clear that I respect and do not think less of anyone with views other than my own. I know I’m the strange one here! 😆
The whole idea of pregnancy and childbirth is simply horrific to me. I know it’s natural and it’s a miracle, but the whole idea gives me the jibblies.
Infants and toddlers bother me greatly. I have done a lot of babysitting, of all ages from newborns to teens, and truly they bother me. A crying child will get under my skin faster than anything else in the universe. If I am in public and someone has a child that is acting up or crying, I will tense up and not calm again until I am home.I tend to resent most children; but I would never, ever say or do anything the least bit harmful to a child. I have babysat and helped with children since I myself was one– my mother teaches at an elementary school and I often go help her– and I love to help her. But something in the back of my mind is screaming “Do no want!”. Even if it were my own, I know in my heart that I would not love a child the way it deserved to be loved by its mother. And, that is not fair to either myself or the child. To me, one of the greatest tragedies are children that do not grow up in a loving household. If there is even one bit of resentment a mother has for her child, it will come out sooner or later, which is exceptionally sad for the child.
I often hear the argument that ‘it’s different when it’s your own!’ — I will not argue that it is probably different for most people! But not for all. I have several friends that have become mothers and bear a great deal of resentment for not only the child, but what their life has become as a mother. My heart weeps for them, because nothing good can come of that situation for either the child or the mothers.
I know I would not be a good mother, and I have no desire to be a mother. 🙂
See, that’s why there are people like me and Kyrin. 😀 To balance the ones like you and my sister. Or is that vice – versa? 😕 🙂 It all works out in the end XD
You can add me to the list of females with no desire to have children. Although, unlike Jennifer and Mmloda, I’m not frightened or horrified or weirded out by the actual condition of being pregnant and the process of giving birth. I just don’t want one for my own. I’m more than content with my little nephew.
I think some people are just made for being a mother or father. My mother and father had 5 and are baby freaks by nature. They want more! My brother and sister inlaw seem like they were born to be parents and are already working on adopting their second. Me, I just look at infants/toddlers as little aliens. Nothing in me yearns to be a mother. And I’m currently too selfish to give them the proper love they deserve. I would never want to feel any sort of resentment.
Nothing against anyone who wants children or is a parent. I think being a good parent is the hardest job there is!
Anyways, yeah, Phoenix, my vote would be for the dog/puppy, but then, I guess you can tell I’m biased 😆 You’re all a bunch of cute blondies 🙂
Yep, it’s official, you guys are weird! LOL!
I have a theory on the tensing when a child cries thing. I think it an instinctual response taken to extreme. When a child cries a parent is automatically geared to respond, either to comfort, feed or deal with some other need. So tensing up and preparing to respond is a normal reaction, when faced with a child not your own that cries, your body still goes into response mode, but since it isn’t your child, you can’t respond…so you remain tense with no outlet. Just my theory on it.
So with that, that would indicate that you are biologically set up for parenting, but emotionally not wired up to handle it. It takes a special kind of patience to be able to interact with and deal with baby people without going bonkers. And even the best of us will reach the end of our rope occassionally and have to run away for a little while.
But I can honestly say the hugs and cuddles I get from my children is worth a lot of headaches.
Kyrin
Love the pictures of you & your family Kyrin – gorgeous 8) . I have the utmost respect for the decision that people make whether to have family or not . It takes courage to make a stand & not conform to what is expected (no pun intended) by society but neither is it easy to have and raise a family .
I always wanted a large family but stopped at 2 but now have 6 wonderful grandchildren but no matter how much I love them there are days when the best bit is when they go home 😀 .I Think you’re right Kyrin… About the crying.
I would go mental when the kids cried. Absolutely went to anxiety attacks when Patrick had colic. I never had fun when they were babies because of it. I always was thinking “when are they going to cry again”…
Then I read an article about parents vs. singles.
The article basically said society has made it so crying babies or children are frowned upon. But kids cry. Plain and simple. Kids cry. Wow. Just a simple sentence and I was like freed! LOL.
We never took the kids out to restaraunt or movies until we were sure they wouldn’t disturb other people. I wish I had calmed down sooner and enjoyed the kids when they were babies. I think that more than anything is what’s making me want another one.
Oh well. I know it won’t happen, so I just have to wait for grandkids!I don’t think your theory applies to me, Kyrin. I’m with Jennifer in that I cannot fathom the notion of bring pregnant, or having a child. I don’t even like the weight of babies on my lap. If someone hands me their kid, I just want to get rid of it as quickly as possible.
I don’t want to hold it, I don’t want to coo at it and I don’t want to cuddle it. I have no desire to go and make the crying stop via any motherly instincts.
I don’t do well with kids who aren’t yet able to think in the abstract. I do OK with my cousins’ children, but I don’t have to be exposed to them for incredibly long periods of time.
I will get up every two hours to feed a litter of baby kittens or puppies, and cuddle them, but they’re only helpless for a few weeks and they don’t make me nearly as uncomfortable as little human children do.
Babies might as well be aliens as far as I’m concerned.
I could deal with aliens. 😉 Funny, I love children and am very good with them. I’ve got the motherly instincts and I’m good to go. But……I am selfish I think, I don’t want to give up all my time and energy. Critters are good for me when I get the homing, nesting, mom? feeling, so I get a really young (2 weeks and up) kitten or a horse or a puppy that needs me for a bit then I’m happy. But again, I do get scared about when I’m older. No one for me and being alone. I don’t have anyone to pass my goodies to when I go. :shrug:
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