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I hope it goes well! Also, don’t be surprised if their initial reaction is not what you expect. I’m betting they’ll need a little time to absorb it all and think through it. It’s going to be a lot for them to take in. I wonder if your soon-to-be-ex is even thinking about what he’s doing to his sons. 🙁
When dealing with the step sons I had with my ex (he has 2 boys that I had been with since they were 6 & 8) now they are 15 and 17, I aske teir mom to sit down with them and I and go over everything, face to face… So they could hear why my ex lost custody and if they had questions or feelings they could voice them to me. I also scanned in the documents and sent them to te Mom so she could show them unbiased black and white proof of what was going on. I showed them everything from the initial police report to the final papers. It went very well. They were upset at first, but they got to ask questions, and I got the chance to say I was sorry about everything, and try to help them understand where I was coming from as a parent. It was probably the best thing I could have done to save what little relationship I had with them after I left their father 3 years ago. Again I say dear, trust in your children. They will know what feels right. You can never go wrong with the truth.
The hearing that was set for the 12th of Sept. has been postponed. My attorney will let me know when the new date will be. He thinks it will be late Sept., early Oct. He also advised me earlier not to talk to me boyohs about it just yet. He felt there was no need to cause them further stress at this time. We filed a counter claim that asks for Rod to be removed from the home for the same number of days that I’ve had to be gone. Still nervous but at least I can still go home!
twindragonsmum
tdm
You know your boys and I don’t, but I thought they are 16? Shouldn’t you be treating them more like adults? Also, they are Forum members. I would be worried that they have been reading about it on the Forum, and then it definitely would be better to talk about it in person. Just my .02 🙂
You know your boys and I don’t, but I thought they are 16? Shouldn’t you be treating them more like adults? Also, they are Forum members. I would be worried that they have been reading about it on the Forum, and then it definitely would be better to talk about it in person. Just my .02 🙂
Me boyohs haven’t been on the forums in over a year. I have been keeping them up to date with what’s been happening. My attorney and clergymen think it best to not worry them over my possibly being barred from the family home. If it should come to that then we’ll have a family council and lay it all on the line along with documentation. They do know that Rod is taking me to court for temporary orders, but that was as much as they wanted to know. Generally when they’re ready for more information they will come and ask me since Rod doesn’t give them any information at all. He just leaves them in the dark and/or springs the latest item from the court on them. It’s been a very delicate line to walk… 🙂
twindragonsmum
tdm
Ah – I did not realize that the boys were willing to come to you when they have questions. A friend of mine invokes “The Three Ps” when dealing with a difficult situation – handle it Powerfully, Patiently, and Prayerfully. It sounds like you are doing the same thing. 🙂
“The Three Ps” when dealing with a difficult situation – handle it Powerfully, Patiently, and Prayerfully. 🙂
This is exactly how I’m handling things especially with lots and LOTS of prayer! 🙂
twindragonsmum
tdm
And sending more prayers your way! Major hugs, Mum! I will keep you and your boyohs in my prayers. <3
And sending more prayers your way! Major hugs, Mum! I will keep you and your boyohs in my prayers. <3
Me too! <3
Tough time you’re going through TDM! I am sending you my best wishes! It will work out right for you in the end. You are not at fault here, and you sound like you have raised your boyohs well and they will cope due to the life skills you’ve given them. They will come to you when they are ready.
Stand up for yourself lady, you have been though so much and it has made you an incredibly strong person. He ain’t got a hope against you! We are all here for you TDM!
Mediation starts tomorrow and the hearing has been moved to Oct. 18. Really very nerve wracing!
twindragonsmum
tdm
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