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Here’s the latest… Have a hearing scheduled for Sept. 12 because Rod is trying to get me banned from the house…
tdm
Well for goodness’ sake!
Hi TDM!!!!! Don’t not post! We are all here to listen!!! Vent away dear! We care about you and we want to know what’s going on in your life! Good or bad! Hugs sugar! It’s good to hear from you!!!
Here’s the latest… Have a hearing scheduled for Sept. 12 because Rod is trying to get me banned from the house…
tdm
Abeh? What?
Did they start having him drink the crazy koolaid at work or something? Maybe the government experiemented on him? Alien abduction?
I’m really sorry 🙁 How are your boyos doing?
Here’s the latest… Have a hearing scheduled for Sept. 12 because Rod is trying to get me banned from the house…
tdm
A judge would have to be insane to kick a woman out of her own home, especially if she has been a stay-at-home mom. If they do, they’d be doubly insane not to make the jerko pay for a new home for you in perpetuity. Since he’s the one that filed in the first place, I don’t see how a judge would find things any other way.
The boyohs have reached an age where they will have a say in where they go post-divorce. I certainly hope that the inhumanity of their father does not affect their perspective.
I am so sorry you are going through that TDM…I haven’t read much of anything on the forum lately, so I didn’t know you had been away (I care about you..promise! I Don’t want that to sound bad.)
Anyway…Let me know if you need anything….so sorry!!What in the hell? Ban you from the house? Sweety I highly doubt any judge is going to do that. What in the world made him angry enough to even suggest that? Are you somewhere safe right now? Do you and the boys have somewhere to go? I’m worried about you sugar. Will this be the final thing for the divorce? Is there a separate case for custody? Sorry to pepper you with questions. If you do t want to answer these I completely understand, or if you would rather not reply in public you can always PM me. I want to be there for you, like you were there for me while I was going through the crap with my ex. Hugs sweety, everything will be ok.
What in the hell? Ban you from the house? Sweety I highly doubt any judge is going to do that. What in the world made him angry enough to even suggest that? Are you somewhere safe right now? Do you and the boys have somewhere to go? I’m worried about you sugar. Will this be the final thing for the divorce? Is there a separate case for custody? Sorry to pepper you with questions. If you do t want to answer these I completely understand, or if you would rather not reply in public you can always PM me. I want to be there for you, like you were there for me while I was going through the crap with my ex. Hugs sweety, everything will be ok.
Currently I’m at my mum’s house in Utah – me boyohs are still in Idaho because of school. Rod essentially kicked me out of the house last year under the pretense of my “needing to get better”. I’d been hospitalized for a week with depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. He thinks I’ve stopped seing my counselor and that my behavior is becoming more erratic (I’m learning to finally stand up for myself) which causes disputes when I’m home and upsets the boys. We’re not even close to a final resolution to this mess, mediation doesn’t start until the 27th of Sept. I hate being seperated from my kids. I’ve been staying at home longer and with more frequency but it’s always a fight with him. He’s constantly demanding to know why I’m there, how long am I staying, when am I leaving, why are you back so soon… Boyohs start school on Tues. and I really need to be there for them. I don’t care what Rod thinks but I’m scared that a judge will believe him even though my doctor feels I’m much better and don’t need to see her as frequently. So there’s a hearing set for the 12 of Sept. and I’m scared and anxious and nervous and really, REALLY angry. Can’t sleep because of it and because of worry for the boys. They don’t know that their dad has done this – do I tell them what’s going on or wait and see what the hearing brings?
twindragonsmum
tdm
I would talk to your boys kinda let them know what is going on but without giving all the gritty details. Believe me they must know something is up and it can be more stressful knowing something bad is happening but not knowing anything about it then to know something about what’s going on.
Try and remember that until the court date happens there isn’t much you can do and try not to focus on it. It’s really hard to do but it’ll help. Plus it’ll be good for you to try and maintain calm and get sleep for your overall health. Tea is a wonderful thing also any type of repetitive motion like knitting. The motion helps break the thought patterns allowing some form of relaxation, I find it really helps me with my ptsd/anxiety. Also getting out for walks helps and getting sunlight.
I’m so sorry your going through this :/
They don’t know that their dad has done this – do I tell them what’s going on or wait and see what the hearing brings?
twindragonsmum
I think you should. They’re old enough to understand, old enough to have a sound opinion. Right now, he’s using them as an excuse to get you out – but you’re not the one upsetting them, he is. And they should know that; they should have all the facts.
I’m sure they have questions, tons of them! Chances are, if they ask their father, you’re just being blamed (wrongfully, I might add – if you’d been hospitalized for, I don’t know, having a heart attack, methinks his reaction would be quite different, yet, it’s really the same: you were sick) and they probably don’t know all the facts. Enlighten them, answer their questions as honestly as you can without getting too angry…
Hugs!
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmThe boyohs definitely need a rundown of what’s happening. They’re old enough to figure things out, themselves, but it’s better that they don’t have to. They may even be old enough to understand. Be plain and honest. Don’t call their dad names, but don’t hide the fact that this is hurting you through no fault of your own. You might even ask them what THEY think is going on. (My suspicions lie toward another woman, honestly.) They will also need to know that they will be needing to make some decisions very soon. The judge WILL want to hear from them. And even if he doesn’t, they’re old enough to have input. They can’t stop this train wreck, but they can make choices that will help them survive it. They need to be prepared.
Thanks for the advice, all. I know I need to talk to me boyohs about this but it breaks my heart to do it. Not for Rod’s sake but for the boys sake… They’ve already got it tough and I don’t want to have to add to it – but I do think they need to be forwarned. I just hate adding to their burden…
twindragonsmum
tdm
Thanks for the advice, all. I know I need to talk to me boyohs about this but it breaks my heart to do it. Not for Rod’s sake but for the boys sake… They’ve already got it tough and I don’t want to have to add to it – but I do think they need to be forwarned. I just hate adding to their burden…
twindragonsmum
You know what, I’m not sure you’d be adding to the burden, but maybe lifting it a little? You’re forwarning them and you’re trusting them. I’m thinking that’ll uplift their spirit 🙂
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmMy 2 cents aren’t worth much but here they are…
First, the hell with him. Those are your children. You birthed them, you have as much a right to be with them (if not more so) than he does. If HE doesn’t like you being there, he can go get bent or a hotel. If he wants to be a selfish prick and not let you peaceably be around the kids then that’s his problem and he can leave. I applaud you for finding your voice, now it’s time to make it stronger and heard to the bones.
Second, the boys absolutely need to k ow the whole truth if they are old enough to hear it. You raised those boys, trust them to make the right choices. They can never make a good choice or decision if thy are never given the full story. Trust in your children.
Penny for thought… Sweety you are stronger than this man, he has had no battle aces of life from all that I have read. You are stronger in heart and soul than he will ever think to be. Your pups are the most precious thing in the world, never let a human stand in the way of you being with them. He is weak, and scared and that’s why he badgers you every time you are around. Growl back momma wolf, growl back. Let him see the strength in your heart, in your eyes, and even in your tears. Let no man bare down on you. Fight back, you will win this…
Hugs dear lady….
I agree with everything that has been said. The boys definitely need to hear what’s going on from somebody, and better it be you than him.
And I am right there with Riversgrace. Men (no offense to non-jerks) have this idea that they’re in control and ownership of everything and that they’re always going to get what they want. I can’t wait for you to show him that things don’t work like that, and behavior like this is just going to get him left out in the cold. We’re all behind you. Who has he got? If he got on here and told us all that he was divorcing his wife for no reason and trying to take the kids away, all he would get would be a slew of hate messages.
If there’s one pearl of wisdom I can give you from going through my own parents’ divorce, “DON’T LET HIM SCARE YOU!” So many women (like my mother) are so afraid that they don’t speak up for themselves or speak up legally. Do not let this be you! As much as he might have you intimidated, know that there’s nothing he can do to you! Any sane judge is going to rule in your favor, and if he lays a hand on you he’ll be locked up faster than grab bag baby unis sell out of the store. The only power he has is the power you let him have. Don’t give him an inch!
This is the basic sentiment that I had during my parents divorce, so I’d also like to extend it to your dear Rod.
Planning on talking to the boys on Monday when Rod’s at work. Will show them the documents with the accusations from his attorney so that they’ll have the original affadavit signed by him in front of them. Keep your fingers crossed, especially for Ethan as he has been closer to his dad. Thanks for all your support. Loves ya,
twindragonsmum
tdm
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