just wondering.

[Duld]

[Duld]

Is life as complicated as I hear or read all around me, or are perspectives of similar events so different, I keep wondering as I live on, I hear or read about mishaps, whitch sound or look similar to events in my life, but more drama put into it.
I cannot help, but wondering, am I cold? why do I not see the horrible things that are happening to me or around me, or have those “horrible things” shielded my soul from these dramatic feelings and left me….

…. somewhat…..

confused

all I feel when things happen, is that they happen, but as the happenigs grow in numbers, I feel more and more caothic in my head, I can’t think straight.

I don’t even know if I am happy…

… or am I unhappy…

… not letting myself feel it…

… cause unhappiness means faliure in life…

I don’t know,

I’m just wondering

[Katherine]

Are you ok?

[Duld]

yes I am, this is just me wondering, everyday thoughts spinning in my head, doesn’t anyone else feel, anything like that…

… or am I thinking too much

never told anyone, feels kinda strange

woops 😳 sorry, didn’t realize it looked so creepy, I just feel so confused reading about other peoples feelings, over the internet, like there’s no problem sharing,

I was supposed to ?medaphoragly? describe myself for a booklet the other day, and the only thing I could think of was a broken compass

[dragonmedley]

Though question. Some people make a lot over nothing, and vice-versa.

Are you happy? Well, it depends of your definition. Are you satisfied with your life? Is there something more you want to do? For me, I have this feeling I could do more (and I know what it is), so I’m striving for it. Whether or not I succeed isn’t important; it’s knowing that I did everything I could. Am I unhappy? No. Could I feel more accomplished? Yes.

Am I helping at all?

Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

[Duld]

yes, and yes

I feel happy in most cases, I am satisfied with my family, I love my son, but I hate the fact, that I feel restricted, cannot do anything anymore, without guilty concience that is, if for instance I plan a gig which makes me happy, just for one night sing in front of audience, I get that look from my man, “oh so you’re gonna leave me alone for the night with Peter, oh I feel so unfree,” all in just one look, that makes me unhappy, so I guess I’m never completely happy unless I arrange a babysitter, or when the urge is over and I enjoy my time with Peter

[Heather]

Perhaps the metaphor of a broken compass is significant. What has your aim in life been until now? Does it still apply? Perhaps a part of you is unhappy, and wants to realign your goals in a different direction, but doesn’t know how to say this to the rest of your conscious mind. So it uses images, and triggers spates of thought that leave you asking questions that may feel disruptive or even illogical. It’s trying to get your attention.

I’m annoyed to think that your husband might object to your doing something that you enjoy–like singing for an audience–just because he doesn’t want you away from him for a night. The drive to express oneself artistically can be very strong, and it’s perfectly valid. For a person who has a strong artistic talent, it’s as important to find outlets for that talent as it is to eat, or breathe. Does your husband understand this? Or rather, does he understand how important your singing is to you? Explain it to him. He needs to realize that he is causing you pain by seeming to resent your going out to perform. And maybe his expression comes from a very different source, such as “I hope she isn’t driving herself too hard,” or “I’ve never been comfortable with her singing at that establishment; I don’t think it’s a safe place.” It’s worth sitting down with him and talking this over. If nothing else, being able to express yourself in your art may help the part of you that’s unhappy to find a way to tell you what is bothering it.

I hope that you’re feeling better soon!

[Duld]

That’s just it, he says it’s in my mind, he just looks at me and I imagine things, I can’t proove him wrong, but the thing that haunts me is that what I see as a top priorityand a way of life, he sees as merely a hobby

maybe that is the reason I see him as a constrictor.

maybe I just need a shrink to help me see things as they are, not as I fear they are

[Heather]

“It’s all in your head” is a popular refrain, but the flip side of that coin is that these thoughts and feelings are in your head where you can’t get away from them, and they’re bugging you. There is something going on that a part of you wants to work out. We don’t know what it is yet, but it’s strong enough that it’s causing you to feel dissatisfied. And it’s a valid thing that should be identified and addressed. Denying it will not help.

I sometimes think that men get really frustrated with women because we can be moody and distressed, and want to talk about things. I know that when I’m under pressure and feeling irritable or depressed or fretful, my husband gets upset too because he wants to help but doesn’t know what to do, and seeing me unhappy drives him bananas. We are both learning how to communicate better: I remember to tell him that I’m not upset with him, and he tries to remember that until I’ve decided what is bothering me, I’m going to be kind of difficult to live with. He just wants to get the problem fixed, but when it’s my problem, he has to let me figure out what I need to do to fix that problem.

Perhaps not a psychiatrist just yet, but finding a counselor instead would be helpful. Somebody with whom you can talk things out; someone who is trained to help find the problem or concern hiding below the surface and coax it out so that it can be dealt with. Talking to a counselor helped me a lot a couple of years ago, and also helped me find a solution to the problem that was causing me so much trouble. I would suggest looking into finding a counselor. Choose one with whom you feel comfortable–sort of like you feel with a friend that you can tell just about anything to–then go in there and just talk.

I hope this helps!

[Duld]

thank you

[dragonmedley]

I just read all this and had an insight… Did you ever feel like this before the baby was born?

If not, then I think you’re feeling guilty because you’re out singing instead of home with the baby. Don’t feel guilty. You have a passion and it’s not going to go away. Don’t give up your passion because of your son; in the end, it might give way to resentment.

I live with the philosophy that my daughter is part of my life, but she’s not my entire life. I love my books and my dragons. Now she’s old enough to understand that and to want to participate in it too.

Your little one will be so proud of you when he’s old enough to understand what your art is! And your husband is fine alone with the baby. Enjoy your time singing!

Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

[Duld]

so sharing helps 🙂 I send you guys the biggest hugs I have, without ribcrackers though,
thank you guys

[Patricia]

I wanted to commment on here but really couldn’t think of anything better to add then has already been said. Just know that we are here for each other and sharing does help. I have a hard time telling everything that is going on my life to anybody…my friends or this forum. And I’ve found that bottling it up tends to be a bit unhealthy. So by sharing some of it I let others into what is going on and I feel connected to people. I may never become an extrovert person but I’m trying to be more open in who I am. I respect everyone on this forum a lot and we all seem to care about each other which is why this is such a great community right now. We have all gone through various things in our life that we will never mention on here but what we do mention we feel certain that others will share good advice or support. At least that is the feeling I’ve gotten from being on this forum….and I’m going to quit rambling on now…think I’m overdue on some sleep.

I guess in my meandering way I’m agreeing that sharing does help. 😳

—
gray

green

Windsor

Purple Dusk

While hiding somewhere in my head I'm on the lookout for white oriental dragons! Please let me know if you know of any available. Thank you!

[the dragon collector]

I have almost the exact same feelings sometimes…ever worse at others. So I can see where you are coming from. My shrink told me that I was border line bi-polar. Little things would set me off for no reason what so ever. On meds now and things seem to be much better.
But I still feel that way sometimes. therapy can help…I used to do it cuz I had too much drama going on in my life that I really didn’t need.
Things slowly get better over time. Mine are taking too much time but everyone is different. Good luck. Not sure if this helped any.

My most wanted list: carnelian mouse wizard, copper patina frog wizard, autumn leaf poads, pumpkin spice kitties

[Author]

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