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September 18, 2010 at 2:41 am #600682
These are great. THanks for posting!! π
September 18, 2010 at 8:25 pm #600683CURTAIN RODS—-PRICELESS
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things..
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!
People stopped coming over to visit.. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home……….
And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?September 18, 2010 at 8:52 pm #600684*evil laugh* π
September 19, 2010 at 12:20 am #600685That is priceless! XD
October 18, 2010 at 9:27 pm #600686khat sent me this and I sent it to a bunch of you. For those who didn’t get this for some reason “I pray you enough” Bravo Marji. π
Recently,
I overheard a mother and
daughterin their last moments together
at
the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the
security
gate,
they hugged, and the mother said,
‘I
love you, and I pray you enough.’
The
daughter replied, ‘Mom, our life
together
has been more than enough.
Your
love is all I ever needed. I pray
you
enough, too, Mom.’
They kissed, and the daughter
left.
The
mother walked over to the window
where
I was seated. Standing there, I
could
see she wanted and needed to cry.
I
tried not to intrude on her privacy,
but
she
welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you
ever
say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’
Yes, I have,’
I replied. ‘Forgive me for
asking,
but why is this a forever
good-bye?’
‘Well…I’m
not as young as I once was,
she
lives so far away & has her own busy life. I have some challenges
ahead, and
the
reality is – her next trip back will be
for
my funeral,’ she said.
‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you
say, ‘I pray you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’
She began to
smile. ‘That’s a prayer that
has
been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say
it
to
everyone.’ She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in
detail, and she smiled even more. ‘When
we
said, ‘I pray you enough,’ we wanted
the
other person to have a life filled with
just
enough good things to sustain them.’
Then,
turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from
memory.
I
pray you enough sun to keep your
attitude
bright no matter how gray the
day
may appear.
I
pray you enough rain to appreciate the
sun
even more.
I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive
and everlasting.
I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest
of joys in life may appear bigger.
I pray you enough gain to
satisfy your wanting.
I pray you enough loss to appreciate
all
that
you possess.
I pray you enough hellos to get
you
through
the final good-bye.
Then, she began to cry, and walked
away.
They say, it takes a minute to find
a
special
person, an hour to appreciate them,
a
day to love them, but an entire life to forget
them.
TAKE
TIME TO LIVE……
To all my friends and loved
ones,
IPRAY YOU ENOUGH…….
October 19, 2010 at 2:36 am #600687Thanks π
November 4, 2010 at 6:36 pm #600688AnonymousWhat’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
November 4, 2010 at 6:39 pm #600689Adraenyse wrote:What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
….
….
….
that’s terrible.November 4, 2010 at 6:40 pm #600690Adraenyse wrote:What’s brown and sticky?
A tootsie roll π
A stick.
November 4, 2010 at 7:19 pm #600691*GROANS!* that’s awful! *snerk*
twindragonsmum :snappy:
tdm
November 5, 2010 at 6:56 pm #600692I thought it was funny… π π³
November 5, 2010 at 7:01 pm #600693I got one like that. :snappy:
What did the beaver say when he hit a concrete wall??
Dam. π
November 5, 2010 at 7:32 pm #600694What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
Ow π
November 5, 2010 at 11:15 pm #600695Glad to have Snap back–bad jokes and all! π π π
November 6, 2010 at 3:05 am #600696Better Than a Good Spanking !!
Most people nowadays think it improper to discipline children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have had one of ‘those moments.’
Since I’m a pilot, one that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a flight in the plane during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behavior.
I don’t know whether it’s the steady vibration from the engines, or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, video games, computer, iPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our flight together. I believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in achieving the desired results.
I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
twindragonsmum :snappy: :snappy: :snappy:
tdm
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