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RED MARBLES
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes.. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.‘Hello Barry, how are you today?’
‘H’lo , Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus’ admirin’ them peas. They sure look good.’
‘They are good, Barry. How’s your Ma?’
‘Fine. Gittin’ stronger alla’ time.’
‘Good. Anything I can help you with?’
‘No, Sir. Jus’ admirin’ them peas.’
‘Would you like to take some home ?’ asked Mr.. Miller.
‘No, Sir. Got nuthin’ to pay for ’em with.’
‘Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?’
‘All I got’s my prize marble here.’
‘Is that right? Let me see it’ said Miller..
‘Here ’tis. She’s a dandy.’
‘I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home ?’ the store owner asked.
‘Not zackley but almost..’
‘Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble’.. Mr. Miller told the boy.
‘Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.’
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.. With a smile she said, ‘There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn’t like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store..’
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr.. Miller had died.
They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts…all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband’s casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her, and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband’s bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket
‘Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim ‘traded’ them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size…..they came to pay their debt.’
‘We’ve never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,’ she confided, ‘but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho..’
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath….
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn’t make yourself..An unexpected phone call from an old friend…Green stoplights on your way to work…..The fastest line at the grocery store…A good sing-along song on the radio…Your keys found right where you left them.
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED :yes: :yes: :yes:
twindragonsmum 🙂
tdm
We’ve probably seen these before, but they’re worth repeating. 😉
TEACHERS & COPS
These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)
> 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and started to dig.
> 2. I would not allow this student to breed.
> 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
> 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
> 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
> 6. The student has a ‘full six-pack’ but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
> 7. This child has been working with glue too much.
> 8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
> 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
> 10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
> 11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
> 12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
> 16 ‘You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’
> 15 ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them awhile.’
> 14 ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’
> 13 ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
> 12 ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
> 11 ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’
> 10 ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift
> supervisor?’
> 9 ‘Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket. ‘
> 8 ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’
> 7 ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’> 6 ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.’
> 5 ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’
> 4 ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’
> 3 ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’
> 2 ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your
> bail.’> AND THE WINNER IS….
> 1 ‘You didn’t think we gave pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here..’HAHAHahaha! I was grinning at the teachers’ comments, but when it came to the cops it was all I could do to not bust out laughing… XD
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Life’s tough…it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
John Wayne—
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We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
~ Herbert Spencer
Rogers was quite the cowboy, with all the wisdom of simple, honest folk. His words still ring with common sense today….Simple but Brilliant and full of truths! Enjoy!
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.
Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman . . Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER…First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.
twindragonsmum 😀
tdm
Compiments of my dad-in-law! Enjoy!
Drafting Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier…
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however… I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too… I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50…in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They’ll have it secured the first night!
twindragonsmum 😀
tdm
Wow! 🙂 I laughed when the camera panned over near the end and there were the two cats watching from the railing. 😀
The blond who went to Disneyland:
A blond was going to Disneyland and as she was driving she saw a sign that said: “Disneyland Left”. So she went home.I have a whole bunch more, but here two real-life stories of my grandma. 😀
Opthamologist:
My grandma gets her eyes checked for a new pair of glasses. She sits in the chair, they put the lenses over her eyes and the doctor says: “Read line 5 on the chart.” My grandma confidently replies: ” 21, 5, 19, 6…” And the doctor goes, “Ma’m, you do realize those are LETTERS, right?” My grandpa came home DYING!The times are changing:
Passing by a coffee shop, we saw a sign that said: “Free Wi-Fi”. I said, “That’s one way to get business.” And my grandma turns to me with a confused expression and asks: “What’s We-Fee??” Now if the computer doesn’t work, we blame the We-Fee.Just some giggles to get your day going… 😆
Revenge is sweet
Golf for beginners
A jolly good recovery
How men screw up romance
Lurvs y’all very muchly!
twindragonsmum XD
tdm
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