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This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It was listed in the Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work; wearing only what nature gave me.
Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I’ll be waiting….
Please scroll down…..
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society…
This may not be true, but funny tho. 😉
http://www.snopes.com/humor/nonsense/sbf.asp*I just went through all the posts and I couldn’t find “Judas Asparagus” which I thought was one of the funniest posts ever!! Everytime I read it I laughed until my tummy hurt!! Somehow it has disappeared and I’m heartbusted!! Does anyone know where it is or could someone post it again? Thanks!!!
drgnlvr wrote:*I just went through all the posts and I couldn’t find “Judas Asparagus” which I thought was one of the funniest posts ever!! Everytime I read it I laughed until my tummy hurt!! Somehow it has disappeared and I’m heartbusted!! Does anyone know where it is or could someone post it again? Thanks!!!
This joke?
Blackdesertwind wrote:Five tips for a woman….
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don’t know each other. XD XD
_______________________________________________Brave Firemen
One dark night outside a small town in Wisconsin, a fire started inside
the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive
flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical
company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All our secret formulas
are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give
$50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact.”But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became
desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the
offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the
company’s secret files.From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came
into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire
company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone’s
amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek
engines that were parked outside the plant.Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the
inferno.Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped
off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a
performance and effort never seen before.Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire
and had saved the secret formulas.The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a
superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000,
and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film,
asking their chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”“Vell,” said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, “Da first thing ve
gonna do is fix da brakes on dat f 😉 cking truck!”Every act matters.No matter how small💞
(Wanted......Brimstone Lap)
Male Hearth....one day🤞Dream on.😮 😆 XD 😈
This Ad Was Placed in the Personal column of a newspaper.
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 11-20-09, 1:43 A.M..
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and me, threatening our lives.
You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.
My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn’t it?
I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people’s in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Long’s Drugstore, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!Thoughtfully yours,
Billy
Bwahahahaha!
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmIt pays to be well dressed
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water,
> was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off
> in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward
> the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a
> small stand, selling ties..
>
>
>
> The Taliban asked,
> “Do you have water?”
>
>
>
> The Jewish man
> replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They
> are only £5.”
>
>
>
> The Taliban shouted,
>
> “Idiot! I do not
> need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must
> find water first!
>
>
>
> “OK,” said
> the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to
> buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger
> than that.
>
> If you continue over
> that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a
> lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you
> need. Shalom.”
>
>
>
> Cursing, the Taliban
> staggered away over the hill.
>
>
>
> Several hours
> later he staggered back, almost dead & said
>
>
>
> “Your f****ing
> brother won’t let me in without a tie!”
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