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2Huberts wrote:
For Frozen. 😈 😉
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
…
Kinda brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?
You have NO idea….eat Dannon Activa yogurt…that’ll get you NICE and gassy!! 😆 😆
and yes I know this from personal experience…. 🙄Nirvanacat13 wrote:2Huberts wrote:For Frozen. 😈 😉
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
…
Kinda brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?
You have NO idea….eat Dannon Activa yogurt…that’ll get you NICE and gassy!! 😆 😆
and yes I know this from personal experience…. 🙄
Really? I got to try this next time I go in town to get groceries 😆Blackdesertwind wrote:Nirvanacat13 wrote:2Huberts wrote:For Frozen. 😈 😉
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
…
Kinda brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?
You have NO idea….eat Dannon Activa yogurt…that’ll get you NICE and gassy!! 😆 😆
and yes I know this from personal experience…. 🙄
Really? I got to try this next time I go in town to get groceries 😆Ya it’s pretty tasty ~ 4 oz. once a day is supposed to “recharge” the good bacteria stuff in your gut and intestine…..I guess my system needed major remodeling 🙄 ….Poor Louis, he’s been scared to get under the covers…. 😆 😆
Guess I’m just lucky with these this week 😉
DO YOU FART IN BED?
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.
THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND’S HABIT OF FARTING
LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND
THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE
IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN’T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS
PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, AS SHE WAS CONCERNED
THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS
DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS
UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER
AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP
AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC
WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS
SHORTS.SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING
WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC
FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL
HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER
YEARS OF TORTURE SHE
RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS
BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER
LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.HE SAID, ‘HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT. ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I
DIDN’T LISTEN TO YOU’. ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN?’ ASKED HIS WIFE.‘WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS
OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WITH SOME
VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.’A Wyoming cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote
mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell youexactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will
you give me a calf?The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at
his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on theInternet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system
to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite thatscans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
image has been processed and the data stored.He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
“You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the cowboy.He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
“Okay, why not?”You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says the cowboy.
“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess
that?”“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up
here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.(DO YOU FART IN BED?)
😆 It still makes me laugh!
I got this email about a year ago and couldn’t stop laughing…you don’t know how much I sympatized with her and how much I would like to try this with my own BF! 😆 🙄 I know! I know! Be Nice!….but it’s soooo tempting!Blackdesertwind wrote:(DO YOU FART IN BED?)
😆 It still makes me laugh!
I got this email about a year ago and couldn’t stop laughing…you don’t know how much I sympatized with her and how much I would like to try this with my own BF! 😆 🙄 I know! I know! Be Nice!….but it’s soooo tempting!Be nice? Well that’s no fun at all! 😈 😆
Click Please!!Nirvanacat13 wrote:Blackdesertwind wrote:Nirvanacat13 wrote:2Huberts wrote:For Frozen. 😈 😉
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
…
Kinda brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?
You have NO idea….eat Dannon Activa yogurt…that’ll get you NICE and gassy!! 😆 😆
and yes I know this from personal experience…. 🙄
Really? I got to try this next time I go in town to get groceries 😆Ya it’s pretty tasty ~ 4 oz. once a day is supposed to “recharge” the good bacteria stuff in your gut and intestine…..I guess my system needed major remodeling 🙄 ….Poor Louis, he’s been scared to get under the covers…. 😆 😆
Dragon87 wrote:Blackdesertwind wrote:(DO YOU FART IN BED?)
😆 It still makes me laugh!
I got this email about a year ago and couldn’t stop laughing…you don’t know how much I sympatized with her and how much I would like to try this with my own BF! 😆 🙄 I know! I know! Be Nice!….but it’s soooo tempting!Be nice? Well that’s no fun at all! 😈 😆
I know!
WindstoneCollector wrote:If you can stand them, pickled eggs are the way to go…Maybe cauliflower…Just get even. 😈 😆 😆
You’re a real
aren’t you? 😆2Huberts wrote:and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.This was great! I remember one day at work when there was a couple parked on the side of the road franticly snepping pictures of some deer. I thought they just liked animals but about 5 min later the couple came into the hotel and they asked what breed the large dogs outside were. 😕 🙄 The couple was from the city and had never seen deer in their lives but they had seen large dogs, great danes and such.
ariankentara wrote:2Huberts wrote:and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.This was great! I remember one day at work when there was a couple parked on the side of the road franticly snepping pictures of some deer. I thought they just liked animals but about 5 min later the couple came into the hotel and they asked what breed the large dogs outside were. 😕 🙄 The couple was from the city and had never seen deer in their lives but they had seen large dogs, great danes and such.
Confusing a deer for a dog?:shock: I can’t see that one… but I lived on the far outskirts of a town for the longest time, and deer were a frequent visitor… 😀
Blackdesertwind wrote:WindstoneCollector wrote:If you can stand them, pickled eggs are the way to go…Maybe cauliflower…Just get even. 😈 😆 😆
You’re a real
aren’t you? 😆Not really…I just got tired of men farting around me and expecting me to just put up with it! 😆 😆 Now, I don’t sneak out of the room to do it. 😈 Instead I sneak to pay back. 😆 😆 😆 (He snores and wakes me up alot…Plus he could peel wallpaper sometimes…And has been known to think it is funny to “fluff” the covers over my head! 😛 )
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