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Blackdesertwind wrote:
😯 I knew corn starch had a weird consistency but never in my wildest dreams did I think one could do this.
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/02/steve_spangler_do_not_try_this.php
That was too cool! 😀
The corn starch is really cool, I remember making a sort of polymer in high school out of glue water and… Borax… and food coloring of course to make it pretty. 🙄
How I loved bus days! Those kids that took the bus missed out on some entertaining stuff. Like home made silly putty (kinda, it’s harder) and dissecting a fetal pig.
Don’t underestimate children 😆 they’re smarter then you think!
DON’T MESS WITH MOM
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The ‘Children’s Bill of Rights.’It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.Don’t preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
And it’s illegal too!Mom, I have these children’s rights,
so you can’t influence me,
or I’ll call Children’s Services Division,
better known as “C.S.D.”
Mom’s Reply and ThoughtsOf course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he’s messing with a pro.Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, “Pick out all you want,
there’s shirts & pants galore.I’ve called and checked with C.S.D .
who said they didn’t care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of Nike Airs.I’ve canceled that appointment
to take your driver’s test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I’ll decide what’s best.”I said “No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We’re having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine.”He asked “Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?”
“Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.I also rented out your room,
you’ll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.Your clothing won’t be trendy now,
I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.I’m selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the ‘Parents Bill of Rights’,
It’s in effect today!Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?”Subject: Man
Too funny, but true
Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys
in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long
after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
option. I will win.
_____________________________________________________Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very
well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as
if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows
up, one of us will say to the other, ‘I used to
be able to fix these things, but now with all these
computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to
start.’ We will then drink a couple of beers and
break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_____________________________________________________Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I
lie in bed and moan. You’re a woman. You never get
as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_____________________________________________________Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I
cannot be expected to find exotic items like ‘cumin’
or ‘tofu.’ For all I know, these are the same thing.
_____________________________________________________Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite
evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together.
_____________________________________________________Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing
has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking
for it, though one time I was able to survive by
holding a calculator instead (applies to engineers
only).
____________________________________________________Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I
liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at
the end of it, I didn’t…and if you are feeling
amorous afterwards…then I will certainly at least
remember the name and recommend it to others.
___________________________________________________Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is
fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes
ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not
make your rear look too big. It was the pasta and
potatoes and Margaritas that did that. Your hair is
fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_________________________________________________Because I’m a man, and this is after all, the year
2008, I will share equally in the housework. You
just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the
vacuuming, and the dishes, and I’ll do the rest.
Like wandering around in the garden with a beer,
wondering what to do.
____________________________________________________THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE TO HELP WOMEN
BETTER UNDERSTAND MEN.An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell
from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was
well taken care of.He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head;
he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the
hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?’
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank
check and she says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .
She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’ To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
‘There’s no charge,’ she says.
‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.
‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’
‘So I just switched the heads.’
(BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMIN!!!)
😯 No, I sure didn’t see that coming. Shoulda paid attention when they specifically mentioned “blonde”… 😆
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