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A blonde decides to go ice fishing so she walks halfway across the pond and starts to cut a hole in the ice when all of a sudden she hears a voice from above saying “There are no fish in the water.”
She’s a little scared but she just thinks she’s imagining it so she moves to another spot and starts to cut another hole when again she hears the voice say “There are no fish in the water.”
Now she’s starting to freak out so she looks up and asks, “Is that you God?” the voice says, “No, It’s the man who owns the hockey rink.”
Two blondes are walking in the woods and they come across a set of tracks. The first blonde says, “Oh my! Those are bear tracks!”. The second blonde says, “They are not! Those are deer tracks!!!”
They were both still arguing when the train him them. 😈
😯 😆
Still arguing when the train hit them… I wonder if there are people in the world that are really that stupid.
I did know someone who thought sand floats but.. 😆
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the
feminine gender (‘la computadora’ ), because:1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers
is incomprehensible to everyone else;3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval; and4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine (‘el computador’) , because:1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Dragon87 wrote:😯 😆
Still arguing when the train hit them… I wonder if there are people in the world that are really that stupid.
I did know someone who thought sand floats but.. 😆
LOL I certainly hope not! None that I know are that stupid. 😆 Although there is this one lady…. 😈
FLoating sand? In water right? And how old were they? 😯WindstoneCollector wrote:Dragon87 wrote:😯 😆
Still arguing when the train hit them… I wonder if there are people in the world that are really that stupid.
I did know someone who thought sand floats but.. 😆
LOL I certainly hope not! None that I know are that stupid. 😆 Although there is this one lady…. 😈
FLoating sand? In water right? And how old were they? 😯Grade 8. So, what, 13, 14? Should have figured that one out by then, I would think…
😯 I knew corn starch had a weird consistency but never in my wildest dreams did I think one could do this.
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/02/steve_spangler_do_not_try_this.php
Subject: Don’t Underestimate Children [Protected B / Protégé B]
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights
go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and
said To the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and
he smiles.‘OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff – grass – . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you
suppose that is?’The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence,
thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?_____________________________________________________
> “Woman’s Poem”
>
> He didn’t like the casserole
> And he didn’t like my cake.
> He said my biscuits were too hard…
> Not like his mother used to make.
>
> I didn’t perk the coffee right
> He didn’t like the stew,
> I didn’t mend his socks
> The way his mother used to do.
>
> I pondered for an answer,
> I was looking for a clue.
> Then I turned around and smacked him…
> Like his mother used to do.
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