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More poignant than funny email I received:
To all my BEAUTIFUL lady friends.
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was ‘exciting.’ Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day…like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Maya Angelou said this:
• ‘I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.’• ‘I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.’
• ‘I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.’
• ‘I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
• ‘I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.’
• ‘I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.’
• ‘I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.’
• ‘I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.’
• ‘I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.’
• ‘I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.’
• ‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’
Please send this to five phenomenal women today.
You will boost another woman’s self-esteem.If you don’t… the elastic will break and your underpants will fall down around your ankles! Believe me, I didn’t take any chances on MY elastic breaking…. I sent it to a lot of special women I care for.
A man is given a prrot as a gift. This parrot is really an obnoxous, loud, foul-mouthed parrot. The man tries for several weeks to work with the parrot, speaking softly to it, trying to retrain it, being very patient with it, but the parrot just gets worse, louder, and more foul-mouthed. Finally the man loses his temper and starts shaking the parrot and not even that changes the parrot’s behavior. So as a last resort the man throws the parrot into the freezer. He hears the parrot get even louder, then total silence. He thinks “OMG, maybe I really hurt him!” so he opens the freezer door, but before he can say a word, the parrot says,”I am so sorry for the way I have treated you. I was totally wrong and you were right and I will do anything to make it up to you. Please forgive me! Oh, and if I may ask, exactly what did the turkey do?” drgnlvr
This was a great email I got. Again, not funny but touching & worthy of sharing. If nothing else, gorgeous photography. The photo is of the same tree/area during the prime of each season.
Lessons on LifeThere was an Indian Chief who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest.., in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the Winter, the second in the Spring, the third in Summer, and the youngest son in the Fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said “no” it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful. It was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life.
He told them that you can not judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it’s Winter, you will miss the promise of your Spring, the beauty of your Summer, the fulfillment of your Fall.
Moral:
Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don’t judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come.
Live Simply.
Love Generously.
Care Deeply.
Speak Kindly.
Leave the Rest to a Higher Power.
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But the Higher Power keeps you Going!
A little risque but I couldn’t help myself:
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be
cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.’
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
‘I have something to show you that you won’t believe,’ he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
‘My God!’ the wife exclaimed, ‘Schwartz is dead!’Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge.black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: “What ‘ s wrong with you?”
In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says: “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me…. I’m 7 feet tall,weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”The small guy says: “Turner Brown?!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, turn around!!!”
Awe, why thank you gals! If the email had come with an author for that, Id have posted who wrote it originally. I thought it uplifting too and I love the photography. I miss having normal seasons.
I got this from Leahy, an incredible Canadian music family.
A little old man with only 3 hairs on his head goes into a barber shop and says to the barber “I can’t stand this mess on my head any more, just fix it!” So the barber carefully wets the 3 hairs down and starts to comb them and unfortunately one falls out. He says to the man “I’m so sorry, one of your hairs has fallen out.” The man says “Oh I don’t care, I just can’t stand the mess up there any more, just fix it, just fix it!” So the barber continues to try to comb and rearrange the remaining 2 hairs but then one of the 2 hairs left falls out. He says to the man ” I hate to say this sir, but one of the 2 remaining hairs has also fallen out” At this point the man gets up and storms out, saying “Oh never mind then, just leave it messy!” drgnmnd
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