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skigod377 wrote:khat7 wrote:
ooops. Shoulda sent it this way
Sorry 😕
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES3YQzI4pV8Enjoy
Than on was great!! Have you seen this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go&feature=related This is the first one I saw.
😆 We love Achmed: -)
YEAR’S BEST (ACTUAL) HEADLINES OF 2007
Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter
[Imagine that!]Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that’s taking things a bit far!]Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so!]Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?]Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge!]New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren’t they fat enough?!]Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That’s what he gets for eating those beans!]Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead*Shudders* at Year’s Best (Actual) Headlines of 2007 When I worked at a newspaper we had so many people go back over the headlines for the sole purpose of avoiding mistakes like that. Sure we would occasionally miss something, but I don’t remember anything like that.
The worst mistake I remember doing was having an obituary on one page and on the one next to it having the story with the accident that killed the person in the obit. 😳 When we proofed the pages it was a two separate times so we didn’t catch they would be next to each other. I felt about two inches tall when my editor said something about getting a call from the deceased’s family the next day.
I hope I don’t get in trouble for posting this.
The Newfie Wrestler
A Russian and a Newfoundland wrestler were set
to square off for the Olympic Gold medal.Before the final match, the Newfie wrestler’s
trainer came to him and said, “Now, don’t forget all
the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never
lost a match because of this ‘pretzel’ hold he has.
Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold!
If he does, you’re finished”; the Newfie nodded in
acknowledgment.
As the match started, the Newfie and the Russian
circled each other several times, looking for an
opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward,
grabbing the Newfie and wrapping him up in the dreaded
pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the
crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands,
for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the
inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from
the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in
time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His
back hit the mat with a thud and the Newfoundlander
collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded. When he finally got
his wrestler alone, He asked, “How did you ever get
out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!”
The wrestler answered “Well, I was ready to give
up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment,
I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right
in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my
last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and
bit those babies just as hard as I could.”
So the trainer exclaimed, “That’s what finished
him off!”
“Not really. You’d be amazed how strong you get
when you bite your own nuts.”
😀 😀 😀 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😀 😀 😀 Blackdesertwind, that was TOO FUNNY!!!!!! *make me wet myself 😯 *
twindragonsmum 😀
tdm
You will like this one
The body builder takes off his shirt
and the blonde says,
‘What a Great Chest you have!’He tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, Baby.’
He takes off his pants and the blonde says,
‘What massive Calves you have!’The body builder tells her,
‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.’
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde
goes running out of the apartment
screaming in fear.The body builder puts his clothes back on
and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why she ran
Out of the apartment like that.Scroll down…….
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.The blonde replies, : I was afraid to be around all
that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!Blackdesertwind wrote:The blonde replies, : I was afraid to be around all
that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!This, as did many of the others, made me chuckle fiercly. Thank you!!
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”
“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transportation?” the father asked.
“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered.
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”
“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.
“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”
The Funniest School Excuses Ever
Dear Teacher,
“My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”
“Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.”
“Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”
” Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”
“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
“John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.”
“Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”
“Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.”
“Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.”
“Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.”
“Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.”
“Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.”
“Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.”
“Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.”
“Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.”
“My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.”
“Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.”
“Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.”
“Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
“
“Please excuse Burma , she has been sick and under the doctor.”“Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.”
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