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There’s been a lot of man bashing the past week. Please don’t be offended. Most of my friends are women so of course this is a favorite topic. If you’re insulted please let me know and I’ll stop posting these ones:
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.
In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the Intensive Care Unit.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she’d be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice, complimentary, from the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then, she remembered her husband.
Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband’s condition.
The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, “You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take!
“For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you’ll now you will have to care for him!”
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed …
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, “I’m just pulling your leg. He’s dead. What did you buy?”
I havent read all of this topic so this may be a repeat. If so, forgive. If not, laugh!
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. not for young eyes so do what you must to view #8Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?Number 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.And The Number 1 Thought For 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven’t got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Dept. of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.lamortefille wrote:I received this in my email today…
Dear Lord: Thank you for bringing me to Timmy’s house
and not to Michael Vick’s – AMEN! 😆OMG Thats great! 😆Jasmine wrote:Dragon Master wrote:very good this time
What this time?? Aren’t they good everytime I post??They are always funny. 😆
khat7 wrote:ooops. Shoulda sent it this way
Sorry 😕
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES3YQzI4pV8Enjoy
Than on was great!! Have you seen this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go&feature=related This is the first one I saw.
Jasmine wrote:There’s been a lot of man bashing the past week. Please don’t be offended. Most of my friends are women so of course this is a favorite topic. If you’re insulted please let me know and I’ll stop posting these ones:
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.
In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the Intensive Care Unit.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she’d be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful coffee slice, complimentary, from the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then, she remembered her husband.
Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband’s condition.
The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, “You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take!
“For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you’ll now you will have to care for him!”
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed …
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, “I’m just pulling your leg. He’s dead. What did you buy?” 😆 😆 Oh my this one was gooood!
Don’t know if this one has been posted before but its a good one… 😉
A Bottle of Wine
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold
Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally
demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in
mysterious ways.After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about
women drivers; the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting.
I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but
we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be
friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”Flattered, the man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely;
this must be a sign from God! But you’re still at fault…women
shouldn’t be allowed to drive.”The woman continues, “And look at this, here’s another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in
agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back
to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap
back on, and hands it back to the man.The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No, I think I’ll just wait for the police…”MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don’t mess with us.
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