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HAHAHA! I had to get my Dad to watch that with me, we both Love Achmed the dead terrorist (he sent me a different video of him a few weeks ago!) Thanks for posting that!!! That was great! 😀
😆 😆 😆 I SO had to forward that to my husband in Iraq. He loves Jeff Dunham. We got both his DVDs while my husband was home on leave just so he could take them back to Iraq with him.
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
(or the uncertainty of the English language)Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?
“Leroy replied, “I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?”
———— ———
A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did my intelligence come from?”
The father replied. “Well son, you must have got it from your mother, ’cause I still have mine.”
———— ———
“Mr. Clark , I have reviewed this case very carefully”, the divorce Court Judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”
———— ———
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”
“Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids”.
———— ———
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you”.
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
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Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?”
The agent replies, “Just a minute..”
“Thank you,” the blonde says, and hangs up.
— ———- ———
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed?” asked one detective.
“With a golf gun,” the other detective replied. “A golf gun?!
What is a golf gun?” “I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.”
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Moe : “My wife got me to believe in religion.”
Joe: “Really?”
Moe: “Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in hell.”
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A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
“I’m O. K. but I didn’t like the four-letter- word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say,” asked the nurse.
“OOPS”
———— ———
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband’s advice.
“What do you think?” I asked. “Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”
“Better get a bikini,” he replied. “You’d never get it all in one.”
He’s still in intensive care.Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! 😆 I remember my high school spanish teacher, Mr. Martinez, talking about the uncertainties of the english language. He said that when he was growing up, he did’t understand that the t.v. show “Dennis the Menace” had a funny title. He always thought the show was called “Dennis Jimenez” and wondered why that little blonde boy had an hispanic last name! 😆
twindragonsmum
tdm
Jasmine wrote:Dragon Master wrote:very good this time
What this time?? Aren’t they good everytime I post??
they are all funny but some are funnier to me then othersI received this in my email today…
Dear Lord: Thank you for bringing me to Timmy’s house
and not to Michael Vick’s – AMEN! 😆
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