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I thought we could use a place for everyone in the community to post ‘JOKES’ or share emails they get, instaid of having it in the ‘Ask Greater Basilisk’ section. Don’t forget they need to be “clean”. This is a public forum for all ages. And no posting of abusive or offensive material.
Thank you 😉Heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a
fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for
St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to
wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter
arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven.St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
Let me go find out,” and he left.The couple sat and waited for an answer… for a couple of months. While
they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to
get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal
aspect of it all? “What if it doesn’t work? Are we stuck in Heaven
together forever?”Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat
bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”“Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering; what if things
don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
“OH, COME ON!!!” St. Peter shouted. “It took me 3 months to find a
priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take to find a
lawyer??? “That joke was dang funny!!! Thats was actually a topic for when it was “Ask Frozendragon.” I kinda like posting my jokes there.
skigod377 wrote:That joke was dang funny!!! Thats was actually a topic for when it was “Ask Frozendragon.” I kinda like posting my jokes there.
boy that’s been a long time ago…..
I can’t believe how fast the year has gone….
I’m glad I’m getting a vacation…..LOL
Five tips for a woman….
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don’t know each other.
_______________________________________________Brave Firemen
One dark night outside a small town in Wisconsin, a fire started inside
the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive
flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical
company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All our secret formulas
are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give
$50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact.”But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became
desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the
offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the
company’s secret files.From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came
into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire
company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone’s
amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek
engines that were parked outside the plant.Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the
inferno.Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped
off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a
performance and effort never seen before.Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire
and had saved the secret formulas.The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a
superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000,
and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film,
asking their chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”“Vell,” said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, “Da first thing ve
gonna do is fix da brakes on dat f 😉 cking truck!”Three Wishes
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you 3 wishes.” She did and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!”The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world.The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock
to him.”The woman replied, ” That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman, and he will only have eyes for me.” So, KAZAM – she became the
most beautiful woman in the world!For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the
world, and he will be ten times richer than you.”The woman said, ” That’s okay because what’s mine is his and what’s
his is mine.” So, KAZAM she became the richest woman in the world!The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish. She said,
“I’d like a mild heart attack.”Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
——————————————
You think men would learn…
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says , ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?’
‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, Isn’t that obvious?)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading .’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,’ says the woman.
‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the game warden.
‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.’
‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.
😆 Copper you must be a woman…only a woman would appreciate them…thank you I enjoyed it.
PS: men should know better alright. And thank you for sharing.:wink:Hot damn! Now Im laughing… in the middle of the night (::friend wanders in with curiosity and a bit perplexed!:: )
After all the crying I caused with Red Marbles, glad others have added the funny stuff. That is usually the genre I go for and share more often than the sappy stuff.
still so sorry everyone had to cry during red marbles. Really wasnt my intention!
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