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Definitely get a counselor involved for yourself and go weekly. I did that when I was having severe issues with the management in the company I worked for. I still go back occasionally if I begin to obsess over some done-did-wrong. I REALLY REALLY support the hormonal level check with a doctor too because that can REALLY mess a lady up.
Regarding the husband cheating (if he did)- I really have a different perspective on this from most of the other ladies here. If my husband were to cheat on me, he’d get kicked to the curb in less than a minute. I wouldn’t want to have to face him every day and know he betrayed me the deepest way your beloved can betray you and I don’t want to wonder if he preferred her over me, or if he still does, or if he’d do it again, or if he is looking to find someone else to love or if he’s just looking for a way out of the relationship. UNACCEPTABLE! At that point- I WILL NOT do that to myself- I will not torture myself, I won’t do it. I feel you can’t live your life to its fullest if you have all the emotional baggage of wondering “what does he think of me now, does he even love me?” Personally I’d rather go ahead and file divorce, then find out what makes ME happy in my life and concentrate on that. Once you know yourself you will be able to look at the relationship, any relationship really, and be able to categorize it as one of the following- 1. Good 2. Not that bad 3. Broken but worth fixing or 4. Junk to be taken to the trash.
I beg this of you- if you or your husband is no longer in love with the other in the marriage- dissolve the marriage because you’ll end up destroying yourself and each other otherwise.
Good news- if you separate and realize the love is still there then rekindle it but make sure from the outset the other understands what the “deal breakers” are. You need that- boundaries are a good thing to set.
Everyone here has given great advice. I’m not sure what I can add. I’ve been in the same boat before, I’ve been hospitalized more than once on suicide watch. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost 10 years now. It doesn’t matter if I’m feeling good or bad. I can tell him about all the good times when I’m up and he can help me when I’m down. So saying that you don’t need him when the crisis is over isn’t a good idea. When you find a good therapist, you can make regular appointments, and I’m sure they would be willing to see you immediately when you have an emergency. My guy has bumped people when I had a crisis and really needed to talk.
And I do recommend couple’s therapy too. It sounds like you both still really care but he doesn’t know what to do to help you when you’re down. And you don’t have the right words to tell him. My bf had to go with me a few times to sessions so he would know how to cope with my panic attacks and depressive stages.
And Dragonmedley had it right, it takes two to argue. Don’t say it’s always your fault cause it isn’t. Hang in there. And just shout if you need to, we’re all here for you.
I’m still fairly young and still a rookie when it comes to relationships, so I will leave that kind of advice for those with experience. I can offer a tiny suggestion though. I was in a 5-year rough patch about two years ago, no one thing in particular was wrong, just a never-ending stream of stress and hurt. When it got to its worst, I started talking 5 or 10 minutes and writing out all the things that made facing the day worthwile. Be it the weather, spotting deer in a field while riding the bus, or surviving a midterm paper or exam. It helped me see that there were so many reasons to keep fighting.
I know it sounds really corny, like something out a drug store self-help book, but I figured I’d throw it out there. I’ll keep good thoughts for you 🙂
WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING!!
Get it out of your system. Paper and pen or computers will always listen and NEVER judge. I have felt this way many times and I do not have the female hormone issues either. Losing my grandma and mom within 11 months was very difficult and I still have problems here and there since it’s still so new.
Time heals all wounds.
AGAIN I will say that you should get and watch the Secret. I can’t tell you how many things I have had to re think in my life since seeing this documentry and realizing how I had been living my life. I’m still trying to MASTER the Secret but things seem to at least be holding instead of heading down hill FAST.
Counseling is also very good because not only do you get everything off your chest you have someone that can help you put togehter a game plan for your futureIt is seven o’clock and I am alone still. I am attempting to be as drunk and as isolated as possible. My husband is, to my knowledge, having an affair. My knife is not sharp enough. My attempts to cut myself have not been successful. I wish I had the guts to cut myself completely to the core. But I don’t… If a main artery were to be cut I wouldn’t have to do this to you, dearest reader, or anyone else anymore. I feel like I have no choice but to get rid of this filth of a human that I am. I just pray that God will find the love in his heart to forgive me for what I have attempted and eventually done. Alcohol is God’s worst creation or allowance for Man’s creation….
I’m so sorry everyone. Your love makes you pure. Please never lose that purity and passion… I love you all…. SO much….Jamie
safyre_dream wrote:It is seven o’clock and I am alone still. I am attempting to be as drunk and as isolated as possible. My husband is, to my knowledge, having an affair. My knife is not sharp enough. My attempts to cut myself have not been successful. I wish I had the guts to cut myself completely to the core. But I don’t… If a main artery were to be cut I wouldn’t have to do this to you, dearest reader, or anyone else anymore. I feel like I have no choice but to get rid of this filth of a human that I am. I just pray that God will find the love in his heart to forgive me for what I have attempted and eventually done. Alcohol is God’s worst creation or allowance for Man’s creation….
I’m so sorry everyone. Your love makes you pure. Please never lose that purity and passion… I love you all…. SO much….Jamie
Whoa! Hold the phone lady! Don’t do anything, call somebody, anybody, NOW! Call me, you have my number!
Oh please don’t do anything, I lost a friend last summer, please oh please don’t put me through it again…please….Jamie, please…
You are not a bad person, this is depression and alcohol talking. You are not responsible for your husband’s actions, he is! You are a worthwhile person, deserving of love and caring, and don’t let the behavior of one selfish jerk influence you to think otherwise!
Think about your brother, how will he feel about losing you? Think about us, I’m already sitting here with anguished tears running down my face in terrible fear that you may have harmed yourself. Where the hell did I put your address???
Gotta find it, right now!
Kyrin
safyre_dream wrote:It is seven o’clock and I am alone still. I am attempting to be as drunk and as isolated as possible. My husband is, to my knowledge, having an affair. My knife is not sharp enough. My attempts to cut myself have not been successful. I wish I had the guts to cut myself completely to the core. But I don’t… If a main artery were to be cut I wouldn’t have to do this to you, dearest reader, or anyone else anymore. I feel like I have no choice but to get rid of this filth of a human that I am. I just pray that God will find the love in his heart to forgive me for what I have attempted and eventually done. Alcohol is God’s worst creation or allowance for Man’s creation….
I’m so sorry everyone. Your love makes you pure. Please never lose that purity and passion… I love you all…. SO much….Jamie
SAFYRE!!!!
HOLD ON! GO CALL SOMEONE! CALL ME! Did you get my PM? Please, please, please don’t do anything rash! If I could climb through the computer I would! I’ve no way to get hold of you would you please call me????
twindragonsmum
tdm
Everyone has said everything possible so I wont rehash any of it but get right to some key points:
What youre doing here is a cry for help- so you want it. That is a GOOD thing.
Suicide hotlines are 24/7- get your phone book or Google and find ANY one to call NOW. (instantaneous help)
Call 911 and tell them youre having suicidal thoughts and voluntarily check yourself into your local hospital (instantaneous help)
Go in on an emergency visit to ANY of your doctors (primary care, GYN- anyone) and tell them youre having a hard go and thinking of harmful thoughts. Trust me, youll be referred to a psychiatrist within the day if not the next day (instantaneous help)
STOP DRINKING and self medicating. Alcohol is a depressant and will quickly worsen an already rough situation. It’s not helping you, it’s hurting you.
In the end, ppl here have your location, or at least your name- someone could easily call your local 911 and answer your public cry for help.
In closing, youve been flooded with stories and advice here but I tried to keep my normally lengthy posts brief, stating just facts. I dont mean to sound unemotional; just getting to the point quickly as youve enough to read.
Suicide in NEVER the answer and not something you can change your mind about tomorrow. It’s a permanent vacation; a permanent end. You admitted to having GOOD in your life. Exorcise the bad with professional help (even when youre feeling well, for that is also a helpful time to explore and be more open to understanding why we do the things we do; react the way we do, etc). That means there will be MORE GOOD in your life regardless of how bleak it seems right now.
NEVER MAKE ANY SNAP RASH DECISIONS IN ANY KIND OF OVERLY EMOTIONAL STATE. Follow advice given here.
Thoughts, prayers, candles and love~ PT
Please dont do anything like that. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Also, no man is worth killing yourself over. Please get help.
Oh my gosh! I didn’t read this until now! I am so glad you guys found out she is with Chris and ok. Oh my gosh…I want to do something, but I don’t know what except give her support on here and pray for her. 😥
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