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I think I’m seriously coming unraveled. I was going to take my cat to the vet today because of his paw problem (which doesn’t bother him but I’m paranoid about it anyway). Well my husband is pretty sure he has another lung infection. I took his temp and its 101.7 so I gave him some tylenol and we called his clinic. I called out of work so I can take him to the hospital. Clinic still has yet to call us back and I really dont’ want to take him to the er since its full of inner city trash. Usually clinic will just direct admit him but why they haven’t called us back is beyond me. I’m usually really strong about all this but for some reason I can feel myself slipping. I have no time to myself anymore, I can’t do the things I like to do. I spend all my days off sitting in my house because I don’t want to leave my husband by himself incase something happens. I used to love summer since I could go on nature hikes and I just like to be outside but I can’t do that anymore. The only friends I talk to haven’t called us or come around in weeks so its just me and my husband all by ourselves. We were supposed to have a big birthday party for my husband this weekend (he turns 30) but I have to cancel it since he will be in the hospital. I’m just so freakin depressed. I didn’t get an ounce of sleep last night because I had nothing but nightmares about my husband dying and me being all alone and pregnant. I’m seriously losing it 🙁
Pregnancy hormones really do make you far more emotional, and you’re adding that to an extremely emotional situation. You seriously need to take care of yourself, though I know your instincts are screaming at you to focus all your energies on your husband. Of course you need to focus small today and make sure he is well, but then what about taking a drive to an area that is outdoors, but has a nice picnic area where he doesn’t have to walk far but you can be outside & away from home? It’ll probably be good for him too. You need to do something for you, the baby & your husband to get your mind not 100% focused on the up-coming surgery. I know it sounds impossible right now, but just get through today, and then think about a breather to get you to enjoy a day. (I know you are really just letting off steam, but sometimes it helps to have someone redirect your attentions to yourself)
PD, I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s infection. I know it’s easy to say “hang in there” when I don’t have to go through what you are going through. But I just want you to know that we are here for you. And if you ever need to vent, you can do it here. Sometimes, just talking about stuff helps. Typing doesn’t do it. If you have no one there to talk to, just pray aloud (to whatever deity you wish)… or just the air. Talk to the mirror. Whatever, just verbalize your feelings. You will feel better.
You can always call up one of the old friends and start the contact again yourself.
I’m just an emotional wreck right now. His doctor did call back and we have to take him to get an x-ray since they think he might have a collapsed lung. If its not collapsed they want us to come to the hospital at 4pm and go right to admitting. If it is collapsed then we have to go to the er. I’m packing him a bag now and looking up directions to get his x-ray then I won’t be on for awhile. I just hope its something that can be fixed quickly and not cause too much damage.
We’re here, girlfriend! Take it one step at a time. Your kitty can wait, especially if he’s not in pain. He will love you (or ignore you, depending on the cat 🙂 ) just the same.
Bosky’s right; you need to get outside, even if it’s a little bit at a time. That’ll change your frame of mind a little.
But most of all, you need rest. That growing baby’s sucking all the energy out of your body right now, and fatigue will affect you in many, many ways.
Sending lotsa good vibes your way!
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmGood luck at the hospital. The kitty can wait. It didnt sound like it was in pain. Take care of you and your man first. And the others are very right… pregnancy hormones can make you crazy. It will pass. We are here for you as much as we can be. Good luck!!!
I just got back from the hospital. He didn’t have a collapsed lung which was good. We had to sit in admitting for 3 hours waiting for a bed. I got to talk to the resident and the pulmonary on call before I had to leave. They are going to do a cat scan to see where the infection is and /crossfingers he will get his picc line in tomorrow morning. Right now they are going to give him his antibiotics thru a regular iv but the meds they give him are so harsh they blow an iv in a day or two. So we have a game plan and I feel alot better about it now. I just wish this could have held off for a week since his birthday is this saturday and we had a big party planned with alot of people comming from out of town. It was kinda funny but sad that all the nurses and floor techs know us so well. They even ordered him a dinner tray when they saw his name on the waiting list to come up from admitting. Usually when you are admitted so late you don’t get dinner but the lady that was doing the ordering remembers him from the zillion other times he has been there so she knew what food he would like. I’m going to bring them a box of doughnuts when I come up to visit on thrusday. He always manages to get sick in the middle of my work shift so I can’t see him till then. I’ll be using up the minutes on my cell phone till then lol.
My husband just called me. The doctors came in today and said he has two new abnormalities on his cat scan. They said he has to have a broncoscopy done tomorrow since they don’t know why they are there. Its something that can’t be healed once its already there. I’m really scared right now since its a chance he could have a bacteria that would prevent him from getting his transplant. I’m trying to get the cf team nurse to call me and let me know what is going on since my husband is too scared to tell me in the right words. If he does have this bacteria he can’t get a lung transplant and he will die.
purpledoggy wrote:My husband just called me. The doctors came in today and said he has two new abnormalities on his cat scan. They said he has to have a broncoscopy done tomorrow since they don’t know why they are there. Its something that can’t be healed once its already there. I’m really scared right now since its a chance he could have a bacteria that would prevent him from getting his transplant. I’m trying to get the cf team nurse to call me and let me know what is going on since my husband is too scared to tell me in the right words. If he does have this bacteria he can’t get a lung transplant and he will die.
What about clearing up the infection, why would they cancel the transplant altogether, can’t they just make him well and then do it?
Meanwhile, oh sweetie…I hope that whatever it is is minor and can be taken care of quickly. Hang in there.
I just don’t know what to say.
*HUGS* Also, you have my number, if you need to talk, call me.
Kyrin
If he does have the bacteria there is no cure for it. Once its in his lungs its there to stay. We won’t know if he has it until some time next week.
purpledoggy wrote:If he does have the bacteria there is no cure for it. Once its in his lungs its there to stay. We won’t know if he has it until some time next week.
Oh man, that sucks. I pray that the test results come back negative.
Just take it a day at a time, and remember, call if you need to talk.
Damn, damn, damn. I wish there was something I could do.
Kyrin
I am so sorry. This waiting has got to be horrible for you. I hope it is nothing. I sent up a thought for your husband.
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