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I would like to know what you all think of the following statement :
“If someone is telling you that they’re basically going to give you hundreds of dollars, they could say pretty much anything [to you] and not be rude.”
Keeping in mind that the person saying this was completely serious, what do you think of someone who says something like that?
I would think that they were completely off their rocker.
Of course they’re being rude. You just shut up about it until they give you the money! 😀 😆
i would retort:” Money does not buy a free-pass of toleration to rudeness.”
how much further i would react, have an opinion of, would depend on the person saying it and the circumstance/ conversation leading to the comment.
I think I’d do it Dragon87’s way, unless they’re giving it in bad grace, sort of like “Here’s a grand, you miserable &”#*:@.” Then I suppose my reaction would depend on how much far ahead I’m thinking that day. Words can be fogotten, but that custom part or Windstone or nice coat or whatever you buy with the grand might be useful for a long time.
Properly speaking, of course, I suppose one should gently correct them and refuse the money. But I’m more pragmatically – or greedily – minded than that. 😕To add to the context, this person was informing me that I should just shut up and take whatever rudeness was received from another party that would be “basically just giving [both of us] hundreds of dollars”. So to me, he came across as a money-grubbing, two-faced jerk, and I pretty much told him that. >_>;
I just don’t feel like it’s right to let someone be rude or mistreat you in any way for something you don’t need (in this case, it was Christmas gifts). I don’t see how a Christmas gift given (or received) in that spirit has anything to do with what *should* be the feeling and meaning behind gift giving.
In the end I decided not to shut up, and the gift-giver and I had a talk and have worked out the problem. But now I’m pissed off at the person who dropped that nugget of wisdom on me instead. 😀
Wow. Unfortunately, this is how the majority of our society works. I witness this the most in customer service. It really is sickening.
I’m with you, kitsunelady and KoishiiKitty. I’ll not demean myself just for some money, and I expect if I put up with it and kept my mouth shut, the bad memory would sour whatever I got/bought with that money. I guess there’s a whole lot that matters more to me than money. 😉
Of course the money could be used for annoying bills, rent, and essential but perpetual charges that already leave a not-happy taste in the mouth of many… (course I’m thinking on a rather mercenary level there.) But if it’s a luxury, not a necessity, telling the rude giver to mind their manners and take themselves and their money elsewhere, would be gratifying on the principle of the thing.
kitsunelady wrote:I would like to know what you all think of the following statement :
“If someone is telling you that they’re basically going to give you hundreds of dollars, they could say pretty much anything [to you] and not be rude.”
Keeping in mind that the person saying this was completely serious, what do you think of someone who says something like that?
I would personally think that someone who said that, had a genuinely dumb idea. But it’s hard to figure out their general character from one single bit of dumbness. I’ve known absolutely sweet and ethical people that I’m honored to call friends to have painfully bad blindspots.
But if the context was the giver being rude to you, you being offended and discussing it with the person who said that, who then casually brushed off your concerns, that’s a bigger issue. IMO it’s the duty of friends and family to be sympathetic, even if they clearly and openly don’t ‘get’ or agree with your reason for being upset.
I suppose if I wasn’t hurting for money so badly, I probably would call them out on it right away. But my knee jerk reaction right now is – “Hundreds of dollars? That’s rent next month! I need that more then I need my dignity.”
I would most definitely call them on it after the money was given, in any case.
Just so that people don’t think that I’m a horrible-greedy minded person. Because really, I’m not all that bad. Just… getting a little desperate about rent and such right now.
Rude is rude. Circumstances around it might change how you react to it but it doesn’t change the fact that someone is being rude.
As far as someone saying that; while I don’t agree with it I can understand it if they are desperate for money. I’ve had to swallow my pride more than once. :p
“I’m sorry, I don’t lower my starndards for money…………are you suggesting that is what you do?” would catch them off gaurd. but in all honesty, some one will to throw out a comment like that most likely would just argue bullishly because they think they are right.( there is a percentage that do spit comments like that just because they don’t think before they speak, but it is a smaller percentage)
That is a really sleezy comment.
Some people though, they were brought up raised with that concept. Not really that they are money grubbing, but they were raised that if some one pays you, you owe them. It’s a warped view if you ask me. Respect is one thing, but I’d rather return money or gift then tollerate rudeness for it.I am really happy you got it worked out with the giver though, that is good news!
I assure you the person who said this to me is not desperate for money. He’s an engineer with a perfectly fine job, and no one but himself to take care of. He’s just spoiled, believe me. 9.9;
I do of course understand swallowing your pride out of desperation, especially if you have a family to care for, but clearly that is in no way the case here. Also, he would not be receiving cash; the gift-giver in question here has never given cash (or even gift cards) as a present, since he feels they are thoughtless, cold-hearted gifts…so the only way you could use what was given in this instance to pay rent or for some other necessity would be to sell the gifts, and probably, in this economy, get only part of the actual cost. And probably offend the gift-giver in the process (if he found out). =
At any rate, it disturbs me that he feels/thinks this way. It makes me not want to get him anything for Christmas, because I don’t like imagining he’s just seeing me as a source of gifts/money. >_> But, he is also known for saying things without thinking, so I’m not sure if he thought about the crap he was spouting and how it was going to come across. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but at the same time, it was something he texted to me, so he had to take the time to type it out!? Sigh. I just wanted to reach through the phone and slap him upside the head.
Maybe I should get him a lump of coal.
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