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Well, I knew my dad would turn my little sister against me. She called last night, and in one angry breath said,” I don’t know why you are so pissed off at dad and Anita, but if you don’t want anything to do with them, then you don’t want anything to do with me. Oh, and you’re not invited to my graduation! Bye!”
Those words burned a hole in my heart. The lies have begun, and I don’t think I can do much except sit back and pray she will see my dad the way he really is.
We have been his victims for too long now, and what set it off is that my mom divorced him.
I havent wished death on anyone, but I have come so close in wishing it upon him…but I won’t because it would be wrong of me.
Thanks for all of your support.
Well, the “man” is a worthless waste of protein and has the manners of a hagfish. You’ve been put in one hell of a position. I’d say that you and your mom figured out what the jerk’s true colors were, so there is hope that your little sister will someday too. Right now she is at a very vulnerable stage that sadly will play right into his hands. She isn’t thinking with her head, she’s thinking with her crazy midteen emotions. She’ll say things she’ll regret, and then be terrified that she has destroyed her relationship with you. She also, I think, senses that something is wrong with the twit she has to have for a father figure, and she’s very frightened by that. Her response in self-defense may very well be to believe whatever he says, because she’s not ready yet to take the unnerving step of making her own decisions about life.
However, she will continue to grow, and her emotions will settle down. Eventually she will start to realize that there are inconsistencies in what he has told her, and start to put things together. At this point I figure it will go one of two ways. She may take the hard choice and decide that he’s been lying to her all along, and turn to you and your mother for help. Or she may take the choice born out of fear, and choose to believe that he’s been right, and end up being utterly miserable.
As far as what you can do . . . actions speak louder than words. If you can, maintain communications with your sister in a way that that SOB can’t mess with. Let her know that no matter what happens or what she says, you still care about her and wish her well. If she asks you for help, do what you can. She may–after all, you figured the jerk out. I hope that she does. And you have my deepest sympathies, for the situation that you are in. 🙁
You are being a very nice person. I personally will wish malignant melanoma on the jackass. 👿 Twice.
Barrdwing wrote:Well, the “man” is a worthless waste of protein and has the manners of a hagfish. You’ve been put in one hell of a position. I’d say that you and your mom figured out what the jerk’s true colors were, so there is hope that your little sister will someday too. Right now she is at a very vulnerable stage that sadly will play right into his hands. She isn’t thinking with her head, she’s thinking with her crazy midteen emotions. She’ll say things she’ll regret, and then be terrified that she has destroyed her relationship with you. She also, I think, senses that something is wrong with the twit she has to have for a father figure, and she’s very frightened by that. Her response in self-defense may very well be to believe whatever he says, because she’s not ready yet to take the unnerving step of making her own decisions about life.
However, she will continue to grow, and her emotions will settle down. Eventually she will start to realize that there are inconsistencies in what he has told her, and start to put things together. At this point I figure it will go one of two ways. She may take the hard choice and decide that he’s been lying to her all along, and turn to you and your mother for help. Or she may take the choice born out of fear, and choose to believe that he’s been right, and end up being utterly miserable.
As far as what you can do . . . actions speak louder than words. If you can, maintain communications with your sister in a way that that SOB can’t mess with. Let her know that no matter what happens or what she says, you still care about her and wish her well. If she asks you for help, do what you can. She may–after all, you figured the jerk out. I hope that she does. And you have my deepest sympathies, for the situation that you are in. 🙁
You are being a very nice person. I personally will wish malignant melanoma on the jackass. 👿 Twice.
I wish I could hug you. 🙂
eaglefeather831 wrote:Barrdwing wrote:Well, the “man” is a worthless waste of protein and has the manners of a hagfish. You’ve been put in one hell of a position. I’d say that you and your mom figured out what the jerk’s true colors were, so there is hope that your little sister will someday too. Right now she is at a very vulnerable stage that sadly will play right into his hands. She isn’t thinking with her head, she’s thinking with her crazy midteen emotions. She’ll say things she’ll regret, and then be terrified that she has destroyed her relationship with you. She also, I think, senses that something is wrong with the twit she has to have for a father figure, and she’s very frightened by that. Her response in self-defense may very well be to believe whatever he says, because she’s not ready yet to take the unnerving step of making her own decisions about life.
However, she will continue to grow, and her emotions will settle down. Eventually she will start to realize that there are inconsistencies in what he has told her, and start to put things together. At this point I figure it will go one of two ways. She may take the hard choice and decide that he’s been lying to her all along, and turn to you and your mother for help. Or she may take the choice born out of fear, and choose to believe that he’s been right, and end up being utterly miserable.
As far as what you can do . . . actions speak louder than words. If you can, maintain communications with your sister in a way that that SOB can’t mess with. Let her know that no matter what happens or what she says, you still care about her and wish her well. If she asks you for help, do what you can. She may–after all, you figured the jerk out. I hope that she does. And you have my deepest sympathies, for the situation that you are in. 🙁
You are being a very nice person. I personally will wish malignant melanoma on the jackass. 👿 Twice.
I wish I could hug you. 🙂
Bardwing put it so well, I hope things work out sooner rather than later for you and your sister. My heart aches for you both.
Barrdwing wrote:Well, the “man” is a worthless waste of protein and has the manners of a hagfish. You’ve been put in one hell of a position. I’d say that you and your mom figured out what the jerk’s true colors were, so there is hope that your little sister will someday too. Right now she is at a very vulnerable stage that sadly will play right into his hands. She isn’t thinking with her head, she’s thinking with her crazy midteen emotions. She’ll say things she’ll regret, and then be terrified that she has destroyed her relationship with you. She also, I think, senses that something is wrong with the twit she has to have for a father figure, and she’s very frightened by that. Her response in self-defense may very well be to believe whatever he says, because she’s not ready yet to take the unnerving step of making her own decisions about life.
However, she will continue to grow, and her emotions will settle down. Eventually she will start to realize that there are inconsistencies in what he has told her, and start to put things together. At this point I figure it will go one of two ways. She may take the hard choice and decide that he’s been lying to her all along, and turn to you and your mother for help. Or she may take the choice born out of fear, and choose to believe that he’s been right, and end up being utterly miserable.
As far as what you can do . . . actions speak louder than words. If you can, maintain communications with your sister in a way that that SOB can’t mess with. Let her know that no matter what happens or what she says, you still care about her and wish her well. If she asks you for help, do what you can. She may–after all, you figured the jerk out. I hope that she does. And you have my deepest sympathies, for the situation that you are in. 🙁
You are being a very nice person. I personally will wish malignant melanoma on the jackass. 👿 Twice.
That was unbeilevable well said!!
and great big giant squishy hugs to you Eagle!! Know that you will be a far better parent to your own sweet girl!pegasi1978 wrote:Sorry for the off topic post.
Hey Maripikka what does your signature mean? And is that Arabic?
إياك وأن يضرب لسانك عنقك
Eeep, sorry for the rather late reply to your question, Pegasi!
Yes, my signature’s indeed Arabic, and it means, literally, “Be aware that your tongue might cut your neck”, which, most likely not all that surprisingly, means that one should be careful of what s/he’s saying.Maripikka wrote:pegasi1978 wrote:Sorry for the off topic post.
Hey Maripikka what does your signature mean? And is that Arabic?
إياك وأن يضرب لسانك عنقك
Eeep, sorry for the rather late reply to your question, Pegasi!
Yes, my signature’s indeed Arabic, and it means, literally, “Be aware that your tongue might cut your neck”, which, most likely not all that surprisingly, means that one should be careful of what s/he’s saying.Very kewl! I love languages! 😀
Maripikka wrote:pegasi1978 wrote:Sorry for the off topic post.
Hey Maripikka what does your signature mean? And is that Arabic?
إياك وأن يضرب لسانك عنقك
Eeep, sorry for the rather late reply to your question, Pegasi!
Yes, my signature’s indeed Arabic, and it means, literally, “Be aware that your tongue might cut your neck”, which, most likely not all that surprisingly, means that one should be careful of what s/he’s saying.
That’s okay. I thought the characters looked like Arabic, but I wasn’t sure as my husband only used the Rosetta Stone program for learning Arabic at home for a few weeks before his commanders told him not to worry with learning the language after all. That’s cool what it means though.Well said Barrdwing, I do agree. 😀
My dad wasn’t the best of them either, but he NEVER went that far. It has been 28 years since they got divorced, and he still can’t stand my mother for leaving. But, he beat her when drunk and came close to doing the same to me. I was mad as hell at my mom for leaving for a long time. I just didn’t know what my dad was caple of until I spent a week at school sitting on a pillow because he beat me from the back of my knees to the middle of my back, when he had me for the weekend. 😕
My father has since married, grown up, stopped drinking as much, not even near the amount he used to, thank God, and has mellowed out. I seriously debate everytime I see him, to talk to him about how I feel about what he did when I was younger. He also told me I was a peice of $hit on my 18th birthday, and he doesn’t even remember doing it. 🙁 (But neither can I forget he did it.)
I sympathize with you Eaglefeather. I really do. *hugs*
Your dad is a waste of space, and good air. 👿 You sister will see it in time, and she will come back to you with open arms. 😀 Just make sure she knows you still care no matter what he says, even if it’s an email. Eventually she will get curious enough to read them, she will want to know what you want so badly, if “you don’t care about her”. (He is a real b1tch for that one too. 👿 )Especially if she is a teenager. 😉
Don’t let him bring you down! 😀 And, if I were you, I’d be more than happy to never talk to him again…Except maybe on his deathbed. 😈WindstoneCollector wrote:Well said Barrdwing, I do agree. 😀
My dad wasn’t the best of them either, but he NEVER went that far. It has been 28 years since they got divorced, and he still can’t stand my mother for leaving. But, he beat her when drunk and came close to doing the same to me. I was mad as hell at my mom for leaving for a long time. I just didn’t know what my dad was caple of until I spent a week at school sitting on a pillow because he beat me from the back of my knees to the middle of my back, when he had me for the weekend. 😕
My father has since married, grown up, stopped drinking as much, not even near the amount he used to, thank God, and has mellowed out. I seriously debate everytime I see him, to talk to him about how I feel about what he did when I was younger. He also told me I was a peice of $hit on my 18th birthday, and he doesn’t even remember doing it. 🙁 (But neither can I forget he did it.)
I sympathize with you Eaglefeather. I really do. *hugs*
Your dad is a waste of space, and good air. 👿 You sister will see it in time, and she will come back to you with open arms. 😀 Just make sure she knows you still care no matter what he says, even if it’s an email. Eventually she will get curious enough to read them, she will want to know what you want so badly, if “you don’t care about her”. (He is a real b1tch for that one too. 👿 )Especially if she is a teenager. 😉
Don’t let him bring you down! 😀 And, if I were you, I’d be more than happy to never talk to him again…Except maybe on his deathbed. 😈Ha! I don’t think I’ll even talk to him then! But I could say some nasty stuff to him, but knowing him, he’ll lie about dying just to get some nasty comments out of me, and then take me to court for some stupid reason!
Well, I did write an email to my sister saying how I still love her, and she ended up texting me the next day saying she was sorry. I asked why, and she said she couldn’t stay mad at me. I guess she had also talked to my mom and she told her how much I was crying over her mean comment. My sister also asked me why I didn’t want to see dad again, and I just kept it simple:”Because he lies and because of the mean things he is doing to Abbie (our other sister).”
I think I am the only one she is talking to because my mom didn’t even get an apology from her, in fact she said that our step-mom has been a better mother to her than our own mother, and then on mother’s day, she called me to wish me a good first mother’s day, but she never called our mom. It broke her heart. My mom and grandma believe that I am the only link between her and our side of the family. I won’t talk to her about anything that she doesn’t want to hear yet, rather I will let her ask me in her own time. In the meantime, I will just be the same sister I have always been to her, and I don’t hold anything against her.And that’s the best thing you can ever do!
Big hugs.
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmI’m glad your sister apologized. I think she’s young enough to see the truth of the situation in time. It’s good you’re keeping the lines of communication open; it does sound like you are the only link between both sides of your family. Keep being strong and supportive, loving and reliable, and I believe your efforts will pay off. Thanks for keeping us updated.
Hang in there, eaglefeather. I’m really glad that she wrote back. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for both of you, and for Abbie. 🙂
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