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You guys are psycho, I love it.
Not a story, but a chat log between my friend Orca and myself. Just so you can see my twisted side…
nam: I hate people
orca: GOODIE
nam: let’s kill them
orca: okay!
nam: Hooooww shall we do it?
nam: Napalm?
nam: insects?
orca: insects then napalm
nam: Wait… NAPALM INSECTS?
nam: genetically.. altered… grasshoppers
nam: with napalm inside
nam: when they fly onto you and bite, they blow up, and papffff, napalm everywhere?
orca: lol wow!
orca: like paintballs
nam: YES
orca: they eat your face and explode
nam: JUST LIKE PAINTBALLS
orca: XD
nam: It’s the Napalm INSECT RIFLE
orca: kabooM! zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZOOOOOOOOooommm BAM
nam: Hey, what do you do?
“I’m a certified Napalm Insect Rifle Sniper.”
orca: “… oh yeah? o_o”
nam: *documentary mode*
Now this is an interesting new weapon developed by Nambroth and Orca Tailtwin industries.. the Napalm Insect Rifle.
*shots of the rifle in production* *also shows the lab where the grasshoppers are grown*
Notice how the scientists carefully ALTER the very DNA of the invertebres, with the newest NAPALM DNA TECHNOLOGY!
And let’s see these new weapons at work…
*camera shot of a sniper on a hill, laying in a grass tussock, aiming his rifle at a police chase scene, recently ended, suspect in a standoff with police officers, holding someone hostage*
*camera shot changes, as if you are looking through the scope of the rifle. The crosshairs are centered on the suspect’s head, when suddenly the suspect pulls a gun!*
*The sniper squeezes the trigger, you see a grasshopper appear on the suspect’s face, and bite his forhead. HE screams, flails, shoots a police officer, when the grasshopper EXPLODES INTO FIREY NAPALM AND HE’S ON FIRE AND DYING AND SCREAMING!!*
*chaos erupts and the sniper accidentally fires off a few more rounds, and all of a sudden everyone is screaming, their heads ignited in FIREY INSECT NAPALM!!!*
Hahaha, see folks, it’s really quite effective!
*all the remaining people alive at the scene with only first degree burns nod and chuckle, having a good laugh, and they all head over the the local coffee shop to shoot the breeze*
*camera shot of Orca and Nam, giving a “thumbs up!” and winking, with a cheap sparkle effect added*Volunteer mod- I'm here to help! Email me for the best response: nambroth at gmail.com
My art: featherdust.comskigod377 wrote:The Castle [Dave wrote:“]
No-one does anything for hours, except to occasionally walk over to the table as if with the intent of picking up the box to examine it, but the box remains untouched.Ok, now really… who leaves the box untouched?
I’ve done it often, though not indefinitely. A box that just feels wrong, somehow; or is too small for the contents? I’ve found myself putting the box on a table and having to work up the courage over the course of the day to open it, hoping the contents are good but fearing that they are not; hoping that what is in the box is actually the thing I had paid for and not something completely different (that has happened on a number of occasions).
As I tell my M:TG customers: “Until you open the pack, what is in there is whatever you want to be in there. The possibilities are infinite, though obviously bounded, and irreconcilable. But as soon as you open your pack, the cloud of possibilities collapses and what you are left with is probably crap.” I use this argument to encourage customers to buy extra packs to never open. As you can imagine, I get laughed at a lot. It’s what I live for.
Clearly a similar infinite range of possibilities exists with a package that contains a Windstone sculpture bought from someone on eBay. You can open the package with eager anticipation and have your dreams crushed, or you can try to kid yourself that you expect the worst so if everything is fine you are overjoyed. But basically it’s easy to fall into a state of panic where inaction is the safest course.
There has to be a name for this fear of opening an unopened box. I’d have thought it a very common phobia, yet I can’t find any specific references to it. (If anyone can help me out here, please let me know)
Anyway, clearly one “out” is to force the contents of the unopened box to approach a set of possibilities that we are comfortable with, as in “guaranteed to meet our general expectations”, and the easiest way to do this is to force the contents into the state of “something worthless that I didn’t want in the first place” by bouncing the package on the floor until the box makes noises consistent with something that is all smashed up. That way you can open the box without worry. Or just throw the box away unopened; it makes no difference.
I don’t recommend this method. I recommend what my wife does, which is to hand the package to someone else to open.
GB took over.
GB had been dealing with your leaving better than most. She would show up and try to cheer everyone on. Then she would break down into a fit of wailing and gnashing of teeth. On at least one of these occasions, it must have sounded like a telephone ring…Mimi tore away from her tree and we think she would have killed someone had she not slipped on that hairball and knocked herself out cold. We were busy trying to get the grinder dislodged from Frozens sinus cavity (a story for another time.) when GB began throwing bricks at everyone. She has not stopped.
Dragoness took over.
Wow 😯 there are some seriously disturbed people on this forum. Okay, I’m not saying I’m not one of them but you guys completely outdo me. 😀
Dragoness took over.
Dragoness was not her normal chipper self. She actually turned a little more violent then the rest of us (except for when Mimi heard a phone ring). She tended to throw things too. It was like she was fighting away the demons that were coming to take her last hopes away. She turned especially violent toward the Community forum, at first trying to break in because that is where the “gateway vortex that took you away” was, and she intended to get you back. That was kind of sweet for a while, but got irritating when she got out the ax and started putting holes in the computer. We took the ax away. She shifted then, to blaming the computer for taking you and would beat on it relentlessly for hours. (She drank all my Rum, too.) She began chewing on your shrine… after she was done chewing, she had to keep her mouth open until the glue dried, then we would have to fight Frozen for the grinder to remove the dried glue from inside her mouth, and off her teeth. Frozen hated this, so we would plant a phone on him and call it while we got the grinder. Go, Mimi go. She was getting around a lot faster on all fours then she was on twos. Once the shrine was complete, Dragoness would just stare it, only taking breaks to go out and throw bricks with GB.
Dragoness was relieved and Nirvana took over.
Nirvanacat took over…
(*^(*^T#%&^IGU@O&T(*^$*&*&@$%(%!!!
*Wipes off blood*
Nirvanacat was relieved and DragonMaster took over.
DragonMaster started to ramble and post random thoughts anywhere. Oh, wait. Right. Lets start over….
DragonMaster would show up in strange variations of clothing, and always early. Sometimes it was just an odd mix of things, like he would have on a fleece sweater and a cowboy hat, or chaps and flip flops. A big problem for him was putting the wrong leg or arm in and becoming confused where the other leg or arm went. Then he would simply grab another article of clothing and shove an appendage through it. He started bringing his tool bag to work with him, and it slowly started to fill with something. We let this go on for quite a while, but finally had to see what was up. Well, we got the tool bag open and found lots of little chunks of brick and a slew of dried up hairballs. DM did not part with his treasure well. He had been waiting for the hairballs to dry up before collecting them, but had taken to hanging around Star like a vulture, eager for the opportunity to snatch one up. We fixed this by sending him to get you out of the vortex, which ended up occupying both DM and Dragoness. Mimi would just watch them from her inverted position at the bottom of the tree.
DM was relieved…
skigod377 wrote:Nirvanacat took over…
(*^(*^T#%&^IGU@O&T(*^$*&*&@$%(%!!!
*Wipes off blood*
Nirvanacat was relieved and DragonMaster took over.
I hope Nirvana sees this!!! Too, too funny!! 😆
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