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I don’t normally post a venting topic but, I am just down. I know there are others here who have worse problems than I and I feel so bad for them, I just need a little comfort from the Windstone forum memebers. I am IN love with a guy, I don’t just love him, I am in deep with him. I have never cared for or loved a guy so much, and I have dated a few guys and lived with one. We are friends, which I am so very thankful for, but I just wish he and I could be together. I don’t care about any other guy in this world and I don’t want anyone else, I just want him. I cannot stress how much I deeply care about him…. I’m crying at night sometimes cause I know it will never be, and I am so scared that I will never see him again each time we hang out, that it will be our last time together. I don’t want that. Here’s the problem, he is 20 more years older than I am, I am 22. See, I could care less about age, age difference, gap etc… to me, age is just a number. I don’t care at all that he is much older than I am. He’s helped me out in so many ways, by hanging with me, giving me advice and hugging me when I need it. I have helped him out too. I just don’t know what to do. Everytim e a love song that sounds sappy comes on, I just tear up. I don’t care what society says or thinks, I just want him, no one else. I’m sorry to sound so sad, but I just care for him soooo much, he comforts me in a way no one else can or could. When I am with him, its like the world just dissapears and I am in a utopia. I just wish he would feel the same about me. He cares about me as a friend, even tho we don’t see each other a whole lot (once or twice a month) when we first met, he did go on a date with me, but felt the age difference would be an issue. To me it wouldn’t! In my book, as long as that person cares about you, for you, that’s all that matters. Thank you for letting me vent, hope it wasn’t too much or making people upset because this seems so trivial compared to most vents that people post. I just didn’t know who else to vent to.
There’s nothing trivial about pain, no matter its source.
Sadly there’s nothing I can say that will make it better, but at least, you can come here and vent as much as you need. Sometimes that’s all we can do.
Thank you so much, that means a lot. I’m glad there are people out there that care, it helps with comfort, but it unfortunately doesn’t take it all away. I have rejected a few guys who have asked me out, and tried a couple dates last year, but I keep thinking of the guy I care so much for, I cannot find myself with anyone else. I have such deep feelings for him that I just cannot date. I don’t want to date either, I can’t fall for anyone else. I will continue to wait a while and see where it goes, cause he does care for me, we hug a lot when I see him. Maybe he is slowly getting comfortable with the idea? I can’t tell tho because I don’t see him often.
This brings back memories–my husband was much older than I as well. Yes, he may think the age difference is an issue as so did my husband–but he really cared for me and it sounds like your male friend might care about you as well. It’s hard because you want to tell him how you feel, but you don’t want to drive me away. You did go out on a date at first–well, that may be a good sign. It will take him time to realize that your feelings are real. My relationship lasted over 25 years and I was taking care of him when he was sick at the end. So really, age doesn’t matter–as long as you care about each other. It is a commitment–if you do get your guy realize that you might end up as a nurse maid–go in with eyes wide open.
I wish you the best–nothing like being in love and the heartache that it may never be.
I would take the commitment in a heartbeat, I care for him that much, he is so sweet. We went out for dinner one day, and he made me laugh and he cheered me up (had other problems at that moment) he was so cute at dinner. He is like a big kid really. He is also very attractive both in looks and personality, its like winning the lottery in the love world. I have told him how I felt, and at first said friends wasn’t the best, but a couple months later, he texts me and asks how I am. That brought so much joy I was crying happy tears. That shows he thinks about me (he isn’t a texting type a guy, but he texts me a little 🙂 ) I wouldn’t mind taking care of him if he becomes sick, I would enjoy it. But, I hope he will eventually (even if it takes a year or more) will try to date me again, regardless the age difference and what society thinks/would think.
he did go on a date with me, but felt the age difference would be an issue. To me it wouldn’t!
Here is your answer. Age may not be a problem for you, but it is for him. If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. To be honest this guy kind of sounds like a jerk. He knows how you feel, told you he is not interested, but then keeps stringing you along. It doesn’t even sound like a good friendship if you never know if you will see him again!
A friend of mine said the book “He’s just not that into you” really helped her in a similar situation.
Good luck Nela, I hope you are able to be happy.
Your probably right, but, I just cannot and don’t want anyone else, he really is a sweet guy, he has given me advice for when I had a serious family issue and it helped. He told me he felt really bad about my situation and he gave me several hugs. He has this charm where it doesn’t matter how bad I am feeling, he is able to cheer me up in some way. Thank u, I needed to hear two opinions for this, even tho its something I don’t wanna hear. I still tho, want him no matter what is thrown at me.
I understand. We aren’t able to just turn off our feelings and desires, as nice as it would be sometimes. I would have another talk about this with him. If you receive the same response as before (age or insert other reason) is a problem for him, I would cut off all communication after that. You are a smart and beautiful woman and you will need to allow yourself to heal.
You also need to become okay with yourself. As much as I love my husband, if he were to disappear from my life, in the end I would be okay.
I will deffinately give that a try, and I’ve tried multiple times to try and date, but, I just think of him. But u are right, if its truely a problem with him, I. Should finaly give up, as hard as it is to say that.
You’re not giving up, you are moving on. You can always come here for support. You are not the first nor the last to go through this. Sometimes we have to let go of the life we want in order to live the life that is waiting for us.
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