- This topic has 19 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 13 years, 6 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
My fiancé is divorced with 50% custody of his two little girls, 5 and 7. I have my furry children. My cat Ana, maltipoo Bubbles, and a poodle mutt mix Louis. Louis is a rescue dog. I got him a year ago from our shelter here because he was next on death row. He is a smart dog and very loving. He does get scared easily and snaps when he does. I believe he was abused before I rescued him. We have told the girls they can’t snuggle Louis. They squeeze to hard and he will snap. He likes his pets but no snuggles.
Tonight I was on the couch with Louis at me feet my fiancé standing and the 7 year old behind the couch. Well the 7 year old reaches and gives Louis a hug from behind. He instantly growls and snaps catching her cheek. It’s not a bad cut more like his tooth scraped her skin. She was bleeding a lot but the face is known to bleed a lot. We cleaned it up, locked Louis up, and told her it was not all his fault that she had been warned not to snuggle or hug him. She is fine more shocked than anything.
This is where it gets bad. My fiancé has to call his x and let her know what happened. She flips out! Threatening to call animal control and have him put down and DHS for the girls. Well I kind of lost it and screamed at the phone and said some not nice things >< I know I should have kept my mouth shut but he is my baby and he snapped in self defense. As you can guess that didn't go well. She than preceded to tell my fiancé that cats and dogs are differant when it comes to self defense. Cats bite and scratch when they are scared or don't like something. A dog snaps or bites. I really don't see the difference. I mean when someone come out from behind and scared me I instinctively try and hit whatever it is. I am shaking I am so angry. I am crying and I really don't know what my rights are. It makes me really hate this situation with his x more. My mom is already against us getting married because of what she calls his"baggage". This is just going to prove that the x is there forever. I don't want to lose Louis. So many emotions at the same time!
🙁 I am so sorry to hear this. How does your fiance feel about the situation? Is he more angry at the dog or is he understanding that it was an accident?
Personally, I dont want kids and would rather have the furry kind, so I say this from that point of view: (Disclaimer: This is my opinion, everyone is entitled to their own) The girls are your fiance’s children. Louis and your other pets are your children. Both the girl and the dog are small, innocent beings who are dependent on someone else for food, water and shelter. In that aspect, the human child and the puppy child are one in the same. If you and your fiance get married, the human girls will be just as much yours as they are his and the furry children just as much his as they are yours. So what if the little girl hurt the dog? Would he or his ex be as upset?
How would you react to that situation? I agree with you, that the girl getting bitten was an accident. It sounds like she is going to be okay. Children get hurt often (at least I did as a kid, and I lived a fairly safe life) my favorite dog in the world (who was old, and grumpy and didnt like to be bothered) bit me on the face once. I was small, and I was trying to hug and love her. She bit me over my eye-her top jaw got my eyebrow and her bottom jaw got me under the eye. It freaked me out, but it was my fault she bit me. I was doing something she didn’t like and she had had enough.
I don’t know what your rights are, but it sounds like the ex is over reacting.
Im sorry Im not much help :-
I don’t know anything about legal rights or such, but why did he have to tell his ex?
Also, it’s not the dogs fault or your fault if you tell a kid not to do something and they do it. It’s my opinion of course, but seriously. My cousin’s kid did something similar to my dog. He was just laying there and she came up from behind him and pretty much (roughly) sat on his back end and tried to hug him. He snapped at her (face). He had distemper as a puppy, so he has nubs for teeth… but still. He has the classic german shepherd hip problems which includes a lot of pain… so if we told the kid to be gentle and she didn’t, I don’t believe it’s the fault of the animal owner. The kid was warned.I don’t know if anything will come of your incident… but recently I was sitting a couple of dogs (a pitbull mix +) and apparently a pitbull that looked like the pit I was sitting for had bit someone’s dog the morning I was to come over to sit them for the weekend. Some animal control guy came over and pretty much just lectured me about animal safety. He didn’t want to see the dog or even talk to the owner or victim.
So I don’t know. Laws and actions are different in different places. But since she’s your fiance’s kid… that if he wasn’t angry about it I would hope there wouldn’t be much of an issue…
But again, I don’t know much about laws like that.Oh, dear! First thing is to calm down! Take a few deep breaths and drink something warm and soothing.
I can give you my point of view from a mom of little ones’ side. We have a chihuahua/jack russell. My two year old sons sit on him, carry him around like a baby, color on him…normally he doesn’t care what they do. About a month ago my pain-in-the-… neighbor’s chihuahua came up on our porch and bit him on his ear (completely pierced it). That night my one little boy laid down next to him and went to lay his head on the dog. He must’ve touched his hurt ear, the dog snarled and bit my boy’s lower lip. Robbie (my boy) was terrified and cried which caused me to go into a rage. My husband had to remove the dog from my sight and put him in the laundry room. I called my Dad (who LOVES my dog) and told him that if he wants the dog to come and get it NOW!
Was it the dog’s fault…no.
Did I over react…oh yeah.
Should I be mad at my neighbor and not my dog…definetly.
When you love your little one (whether it be a baby or a furry baby) it can really set you off when something hurts your baby. Just like Wolfen said. Imagine Louis was at someone else’s house and got hurt there, you may overreact a first, too.A month has passed and my dog is now home. I just needed time to cool down and realize it wasn’t the dog’s fault at all. Give it a little time and everyone should cool off about the situation…even the pain-in-the-butt EX. Maybe she just needs to see that the scratch on the girl’s face isn’t that bad.
Does the boy friend support her and knows the dog didn’t do it on purpose . Did the little girl forgive Louis .
That woman sounds like a nutter . And if he has to call her after anything happens know wonder why your mom doesn’t think it will work .
Your dog is your child . You care about him like any mother would .
Sending you prayers and well wishes that cooler heads see it in a good light . And don’t take the ex wife as the only truth . As she was not even there .Fiancé here.
First, I’m definitely not upset. My daughter (both of them, actually) have been told not to snuggle the dogs…specifically Louis. I locked the dog up, to separate him from the situation, put my daughter in the bathroom, and as I was cleaning her up, told her that she knew better. We had a talk about how she’s not supposed to snuggle up on Louis, and to basically just not get all lovey dovey on him, like little girls are prone to do.
The ex, on the other hand, doesn’t really understand that the dogs are just like any other animal (including humans) and are equipped with a fight or flight response. He chose to fight. I completely understand. I don’t like that my daughter got hurt, but on the other hand, we both have warned them on numerous occasions, and we weren’t listened to.
As far as why I’ve told my ex: I would be upset if my daughters came back to me with wounds on their face, with no word from my ex, only to hear “yeah daddy, the dog bit me”. I was being courteous, and letting her know that her child had been injured, what happened, and that all was taken care of. She overreacted. I’ve been told this by the few people I’ve spoken to about it. I’ve even emailed my lawyer detailing what happened, just in case something comes of this, I don’t want my lawyer blindsided.
Louis is my buddy. We have our issues, he needs to learn that I’m alpha now, but beyond that he’s a good boy. The girls have never been around dogs, and need to learn how to act around them, as well as read the dogs’ body language, so this doesn’t happen again.
Well, I see a lot of good advice here. And some wonderful support all around. i think you have a catch there Griffen and I hope it all works out. My advice is stick with those you love and don’t forget that you have friends waiting to help in the wings. 🙂
While hiding somewhere in my head I'm on the lookout for white oriental dragons! Please let me know if you know of any available. Thank you!
Fiancé here.
As far as why I’ve told my ex: I would be upset if my daughters came back to me with wounds on their face, with no word from my ex, only to hear “yeah daddy, the dog bit me”. I was being courteous, and letting her know that her child had been injured, what happened, and that all was taken care of. She overreacted. I’ve been told this by the few people I’ve spoken to about it. I’ve even emailed my lawyer detailing what happened, just in case something comes of this, I don’t want my lawyer blindsided.
This!! Thank you for being a responsible ex.
Now let me play devil’s advocate here. What would you do if you sent your child out to the park to play and she came home with scratches on her face and said that a dog/cat/whatever bit her. Wouldn’t you freak out?? You have no idea what the animal that bit her was like, you wouldn’t know it’s temperament, if she provoked it or if it just attacked. You wouldn’t even know if it was rabid or had some other communicable disease.
I think so long as you have proof that your dog has had it’s annual vaccinations, that you’ve repeatedly warned the girls not to do this (and she has to be able to back you up on it). You should be fine.
I hope you’re calmer now and can look at this with a little more objectivity. Hugs Hun!!
Fiancé here.
As far as why I’ve told my ex: I would be upset if my daughters came back to me with wounds on their face, with no word from my ex, only to hear “yeah daddy, the dog bit me”. I was being courteous, and letting her know that her child had been injured, what happened, and that all was taken care of. She overreacted. I’ve been told this by the few people I’ve spoken to about it. I’ve even emailed my lawyer detailing what happened, just in case something comes of this, I don’t want my lawyer blindsided.
This!! Thank you for being a responsible ex.
Now let me play devil’s advocate here. What would you do if you sent your child out to the park to play and she came home with scratches on her face and said that a dog/cat/whatever bit her. Wouldn’t you freak out?? You have no idea what the animal that bit her was like, you wouldn’t know it’s temperament, if she provoked it or if it just attacked. You wouldn’t even know if it was rabid or had some other communicable disease.
I think so long as you have proof that your dog has had it’s annual vaccinations, that you’ve repeatedly warned the girls not to do this (and she has to be able to back you up on it). You should be fine.
I hope you’re calmer now and can look at this with a little more objectivity. Hugs Hun!!
I think that’s a different situation entirely. If the wounds were caused by a random animal at the park, I’d have taken her to the ER, just in case. That said, the bite was caused by a member of the family, and I know he’s well taken care of, is up to date on his shots, and normally has the temperament of a small happy-go-lucky child. I can’t blame him for reacting to being scared, just as I can’t blame my daughter for wanting to snuggle his fluffy little head. The situation I’m faced with is an ex who is prone to over-reacting, having double standards, and holding on to an anger that, in my opinion, she should have left behind long ago.
Update on the munchkin/dog: Kid’s face doesn’t hurt her any more, and is constantly slathered with Neosporin. Puppy dog is a bit skittish right now, considering I had to re-establish my role as Alpha in the family. Beyond that, everyone here has made nice-nice, and we’re just taking it in stride. Wish the ex would.
I hope everything works out .
When I was a kid I was told to leave certain dogs alone and I did . Though it was so hard to do . I loved animals . Still do . I have a cat . Grew up with dogs mostly mutts . I loved them all .
Lets hope your ex wife calms down . Yet I can see why she reacted as she has . Her child was attacted . But it was an accident . And kids being kids they don’t want to listen when an adult tells them not to do something .
I knew a family that was scared of dogs and hated them all because their father had been bitten by a dog .
So we have to becareful on what we pass along to our childern .
I never had a dog that wasn’t a good dog . Friendly .
Well I hope it works out . Louis is innocent victim in this .Exes are a pain in the butt…i know from experience of my husband’s ex. But, I sure hope she realizes what all of us sane human beings see here on this thread. *hugs*
I think that’s a different situation entirely. If the wounds were caused by a random animal at the park, I’d have taken her to the ER, just in case. That said, the bite was caused by a member of the family, and I know he’s well taken care of, is up to date on his shots, and normally has the temperament of a small happy-go-lucky child. I can’t blame him for reacting to being scared, just as I can’t blame my daughter for wanting to snuggle his fluffy little head. The situation I’m faced with is an ex who is prone to over-reacting, having double standards, and holding on to an anger that, in my opinion, she should have left behind long ago.
Update on the munchkin/dog: Kid’s face doesn’t hurt her any more, and is constantly slathered with Neosporin. Puppy dog is a bit skittish right now, considering I had to re-establish my role as Alpha in the family. Beyond that, everyone here has made nice-nice, and we’re just taking it in stride. Wish the ex would.
I just meant that in her eyes it is a random animal. She hasn’t met or played with the dogs, correct?? Glad both munchkin and pup are fine.
But yes, I can totally relate to an ex over reacting on every little thing. Not fun.
I’m sorry to hear of this and this is just totally what I would do, because it is what I would have to do if a child were to enter my situation.
For the sake of the relationship and peace, I would rehome the dog. It would be hard as heck, but I would. I would do the best in my power to find a nice, good and quiet home. It’s not fair to put the animal in this situation. It’s not fair to put the kids in this situation. What happens when friends come over? Their parents are not necessarily going to be understanding if something were to unfortunately happen. And, then, when the time is right I would get an animal that everybody could enjoy and be around. But this IS just my opinion.
Hope it all works out for you.
-- Angie
M’y opinion?
Children need to learn to adapt to the situation; in a case like this, rehoming the dog would be adapting the situation to the child. Yes, I have a child, yes, she was bitten by one of my pets. You get really angry, but really, stuff happens in life all the time. Once a child’s been bitten, it does have a positive effect in a way: they’re more careful and weary when it comes to animals in general. That way, if a black bear should come out of the woods, the child won’t run to hug the Teddy bear…
With a minor wound like this, I would’ve had a few unrepeatable words about the dog, but my child would also have had an earful… Then a hug!
It’s nothing to freak out about. Now, ask my parents how they felt when a dog bit me in the neck (after I pulled his tail, apparently) when I was 5, they might tell you a different story. I was VERY careful around dogs after that, let me tell you!
Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmi am new here and joined because i saw a collector wanted a piece that i have. i am not a collector. i saw this and felt the need to give you my 2 cents worth. i had a rescue dog that quickly became attached to me. he would curl up on my tummy and sleep. never in a million years did i think he was capable of biting. then a neighbor came over with her child. the little boy grabbed his tail and the dog bit him. it had to be reported and the doctor that saw him had to have my dog’s records proving he was up to date on his shots. kids are kids and they don’t always listen. a few weeks later the friend came over again, alone this time. to make a long story short, the dog nipped her. later that day her husband came to the door wanting the dogs records again and i lost it. i told him that he already knew that the shots were up to date so what was the point? was he just trying to have my dog put down? the shelter came and quaranteened my dog for 10 days, by law. that was strike two. a third and he gets put down. i had to move out of state and found a new owner for my dog and i thought it was great that he could get a fresh start with someone that wouldn’t put him in a dangerous situation. months later i asked my ex how he was doing. sadly, he wasn’t with us any more. no matter what you say to a child or adult for that matter if the dog bites someone there are usually consequences if it’s reported. i’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but the childen’s mother is going to do what she thinks is in the best interest of her children. i’m not saying it’s right, it just is what it is. if you want to be sure your dog, or the children, is/are safe i would keep him completely seperated from the children. i’d hate for you to go through what i did. had i known i would have chosen my dog over the friend who turned out not to be such a good friend. by no means am i saying to pick your dog over your fiance and his kids but there are going to be resentments if something like that happens again. my point is that i wouldn’t bet the dog’s life that the childen won’t do the very same thing again, unless they have halos which i doubt.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
