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How to remove pool stairs in a record time

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  • #627049
    dragonmedley
    Participant

      For this wonderful recipe, you will need the following ingredients:

      1 above ground pool
      1 set of pool stairs such as these: http://www.pooldeals.com/product.php?productid=18061 (Ours is more round and compact, but you get the idea)
      2 air heads (I refuse to bear the blame alone)

      Instructions:
      1. During an unseasonably warm October afternoon (32 degrees Celcius), go swimming in 22C waters. Add some foresight and vacuum the bottom in view of winter closing the following weekend.
      2. Let water stand for a week while temperature drops dramatically.
      3. On the following Saturday, add winterizing chemicals. Let water churn for a few hours.
      4. On Sunday, as you prepare to empty part of the pool, exchange glances with significant other when you both realize you forgot to take out the stairs the previous weekend.
      5. Come to the conclusion that you cannot possibly remove the stairs from outside the pool, as said stairs are held down by 3 heavy sand bags.
      6. Resign yourself to the fact that since he’s a lot stronger than you, he’d better be the one to haul out the bags (which are into another plastic bag full of water) while you hand them over to him. Meanwhile, empty pool to winter level.
      7. Put bathing suit on, climb onto top level of stairs, which is now out of the water, and fervently wish you hadn’t checked water temperature: 10C
      8. Run down the 3 steps, push stairs away from side of the pool.
      9. Realize that you can’t reach sand bags without fully immersing yourself completely in water.
      10. Do the following within 20 seconds: take off glasses, take in a deep breath, dive in, peek head into square opening under stairs, grab 1 bag, get back up, hand it over to significant other, run back out up the stairs and stand on deck.
      11. Repeat for the second bag, but add another few seconds because the darn thing is further inside the stairs.
      12. Start feeling the effects of the cold water. Wrap yourself in your towel and go get your husband’s ’cause you finally come to grips with the fact that once you come out of that water a third time, you’re gonna freeze your buns off.
      13. Retrieve third bag. To that effect, dive in fully inside stairs, scrape your arm as you back out pulling sand bag. Feel the scrape with a lot more intensity than you normally would because of the cold.
      14. Get out of water, cuddle in towel.
      15. Go back in and push now alightened stairs out of the pool while significant other pulls it out. Become clumsy because your muscle are stiffening.
      16. Try to get out of the pool. Remember, almost a foot of water is now missing. Significant other pulls your arm, but legs don’t seem to want to respond. Finally make your way out by climbing onto the metal side (the deck is small and now filled with stupidly large stairs).
      17. Wrap yourself in both towels, get back in, dry off, put on nice warm cotton pants and have a cold butt for the rest of the day!

      Please note that this recipe should only be done once in a lifetime.

      Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
      http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
      I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
      http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

      #493027
      dragonmedley
      Participant

        Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
        http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
        I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
        http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

        #627050

        Now, that is good. 😆 😆 I’ve never tried it, but I am sure I will do something like that if I ever do own a pool. 😛 It’s jsut my way. 😉

        #627051
        Skigod377
        Participant

          There has got to be a better way 😆

          #627052
          Jasmine
          Participant

            Couldn’t you have climbed out using the stairs, then help you husband lift them out of the pool?? Or is there something I’m missing?? Though that was quite the adventure you had 🙂

            #627053
            Jodi
            Participant

              Oh, you poor thing. 🙁

              #627054
              Purplecat
              Participant

                😆 😆 I’m soooo sorry you had to go thru that…I can’t help but laugh to though, it sounds like something that’d happen to me… 😆

                #627055
                wolflodge100
                Participant

                  Haha, yep, sounds like my luck 😆

                  #627056
                  dragonmedley
                  Participant

                    Jasmine wrote:

                    Couldn’t you have climbed out using the stairs, then help you husband lift them out of the pool?? Or is there something I’m missing?? Though that was quite the adventure you had 🙂

                    No, because at this point, the stairs are still full of water, and the holding point is very low. My husband was lying on his stomach grabbing onto the aforementioned aperture while I pushed up. Then he got up while I held, got a better hold and pulled the rest out. Add to that the lack of room on our tiny, tiny deck…

                    The solution for this: think ahead! and take out the stairs the same day you vacuum for the last time. That’s what we did last year, and it went real smooth…

                    Read my books! Volume 1 and 2 of A Dragon Medley are available now.
                    http://www.sarahjestin.com/mybooks.htm
                    I host the feedback lists, which are maintained by drag0nfeathers.
                    http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htm

                    #627057
                    Jasmine
                    Participant

                      You poor thing. Though it sounds like something that would happen to me too. 😆

                      #627058
                      Bob

                        I was in the pool industry before this job and I can’t tell you what memories that brought back!!

                        #627059
                        Duld
                        Participant

                          haha you are “seinheppin” that means, directly: latelucky ( I know it sounds strange), probably dreamy too, 😆

                          I hope your tush is warm now

                          #627060
                          Bob

                            BRoS wrote:

                            haha you are “seinheppin” that means, directly: latelucky ( I know it sounds strange), probably dreamy too, 😆

                            I hope your tush is warm now
                            I hope your husbands front “boys” are warm in case you still want to have kids

                            #627061

                            Eek! Sounds awful, but thanks for sharing 😆

                            #627062

                            Sounds like something I would do if I had a pool.

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