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Seeing some of the misunderstanings we’ve had on this forum, I just want to say this – PLEASE if I ever do something that you find offensive, tell me. If you think I’m gloating, or being rude, or insulting you, or ANYTHING you find upsetting, tell me! And I get the feeling that I’m not the only one who would appreciate being told when they’ve upset somebody. Saying “somebody on this forum really gets my goat” serves NO purpose but to make everybody paranoid. The person who actually gets your goat is probably going to have no clue you mean them, and everybody else who’s trying to be nice is suddenly going to feel uncomfortable, because they’re worried that they’re the ones being offensive, and yet since they don’t know for sure they don’t know how to fix it.
I’ve seen this here, I’ve seen this over and over in other places too. Somebody says something that to them is completely innocent. Harmless. A cheerful joke or a bit of excess enthusiasm. Then they go on their way happy and carefree. Somebody else, though, reads it, and thinks it’s meant meanly. And they go on their way too, grumbling and unhappy and feeling like the first person hates them, or feels that they’re better than them, or… whatever.
And then a few weeks later the first person says something else, and suddenly gets all the past times they said something offensive thrown in their face, and the first person is just sitting there floored, because they never intended any offence at all.
Or, alternately, nothing ever gets said, and the second person just spends the rest of their life thinking the first person hates them, when they actually never did.
It happens all the time. And I’ll admit, my social skills are pretty bad. I spent my formative years reading books, not talking to people, so I have a really hard time knowing what people really mean, I tend to take things at literal face value a lot, and I have a really hard time knowing how people are going to take what I say. So I just… say what I think, and hope that if I offend somebody, they’d let me know so I can correct this. (And since I say what I think, be assured that if I think you’re an idiot, I’ll say so, so if I haven’t said you’re an idiot,I don’t think you are!) And it looks like I’m not the only one here who has a similar problem.
So this is just an appeal. PLEASE, if I ever offend you, don’t hesitate to PM or otherwise contact me and let me know. Otherwise I’m going to just keep on doing whatever it is, because I don’t know it’s hurting anybody. You may think it’s more polite to not say anything, but I think that honesty is more important than politeness, 99% percent of the time. I mean… be polite when you can. “Hey, just so you know this thing you said upset me, did you really mean it like that?” is much nicer to her than “Augh you moron, I hate it when you say that, shut up.” But I’d rather hear “Augh you moron” than nothing at all.
I hope that makes sense, and that I’m not upsetting anybody with this. I just really, really, really want to know if I’ve offended anybody lately.
(And to not be hypocritical, I’ll go ahead and be honest myself. I read something Frozen said, and was a bit worried he meant me. Frozen, have I offended you? If I have, I’m sorry.)
TL,DR versionif you don’t want to read all that – I want to know if I upset you, so if you’re mad at me, please PM or otherwise say something so I can apologize.
I too would appreciate feedback on if I’ve offended/hurt/pissed someone off, and I will try to do the same in return. I’m the kind of person also that if I really screw up (like on Mmloda’s ki-rin) I will ALWAYS look back at what I said, and try to make amends. Also, it is a learning experience for me in trying tp figgure out how to make myself a better person from it.
Quote:somebody on this forum really gets my goat
I agree….
And slightly off topic because it fits…
Tee heeLOL Whippet! That’s great! So yea, ditto for me too. If I’m rude, I don’t mean to be. I come off as having an attitude sometimes, but it’s one in my personality and I don’t mean to offend. And when I do I really don’t even realize it half the time.
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Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry DragonsBwa ha ha! I have a Drama Llama picture. Maybe we should label that one a Gloat Goat?
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spark is silly….
I got several PM’s asking me “was it me”
the person that annoyed me so…knows exactly who they are…even though I do believe they live in a fog
I didn’t PM…because it was seriously not worth my time…but at that point on that topic…I felt it was way past time for me to comment…
and trust me…anyone here would know if they annoyed me…
I’m usually extremely easy to get along with…but honestly have been offended enough to avoid comments…
I don’t think anyone should worry about me being mad at them….I get over things very fast…
if anyone wants proof of that…just ask anthony…we fight on a daily basis…but we’re still great friends….
there just comes a time when you’ve been silent too long….and have to say something…
I’m not bitter towards anyone, for any reason, I believe everyone gets what they deserve and everything happens for a reason…
that being said…I’m not talking about it anymore…
and I hope that puts everyone at easeThank you for commenting, frozen. I’m just paranoid because this has happened to me before several times, and I had no idea, so I didn’t want it to happen again.
Huh?
And then you get people like me, who are oblivious…
But then again, I don’t read all the threads through, so I guess I could have missed something. 🙂
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmdragonmedley wrote:Huh?
And then you get people like me, who are oblivious…
But then again, I don’t read all the threads through, so I guess I could have missed something. 🙂
LOL…yeah…I have gotten to where I only look at certain topics now….
and oblivious is good…
I ditto all of this – I go through life being pretty oblivious! I walk right by people I know well if I’m not specifically looking for them. So if I do something obnoxious, please call me on it!!! 😳
And the gloat goat and drama lama are freakin’ sweet.
"He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom."
-J R R TolkienDitto all that for me – and I know I have a lot of opportunity to say something out of place with all my chatter… 😳 Thanks for taking the work of my hands with your eloquent post, SPark. 😀
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