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I have struggled a lot in the last few years with depression and anxiety and suspected the cause of everything has been PST or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but never really attempted to get any help for it until recently. I haven’t been able to work much especially in the last couple of years because of becoming too easily stressed and burned out my adrenals so I have been doing my best to buy and sell online for income as I have always loved business and selling things since I was young. Before Christmas though my income stopped which is ironic but since then my money has dried up and my utilities were partially disconnected so I was forced to seek some financial aid for help to pay everything.
They required me to go see the doctor which I haven’t done in two years and he officially diagnosed me with PST and severe anxiety and depression which I expected but at the same time I think reality just finally set in. Now it feels almost like I want to deny there is anything wrong with me and I have had the attitude the last couple of years I could just overcome this on my own and snap out of it but things have just become more difficult. I have become almost crippled by fear of going out and socializing and when I do force myself too I get so stressed that I need a couple days to rest and recover. Now that I know my adrenals haven’t been producing enough cortisol I have found natural supplements to boost the adrenals but the problem is now that I have to avoid stress to keep them finctinoning properly and with my anxiety I am not sure how to do that.
I know what helps depression as well but it’s the stress and anxiety that is the problem now which I know is psychological from many traumatic events I have gone through. I just can’t seem to forget or be able to overcome the past memories though of going through foreclosures with my mom and losing our houses and all our money and then all our posessions a terrible landlord got rid of and losing a boyfriend who was abusive and manipulative and just about destroyed my soul and my life which I won’t go into.
I am a very highly sensitive person and get so overwhelmed even by all the bad things happening in society and the world that I just don’t know how to deal sometimes. My doctor has said counselling may or may not help. Going on prescriptions is another option which I won’t do as I don’t believe in taking pharmaceuticals so I wonder if anyone knows of anything else that can help people with PST and social anxiety?
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Okay babycakes, good news first.. Depression, severe anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD are manage- able and get over-able. Not so good news… It takes medical help (sometimes a lot), psychological help (also sometimes a lot) and a lot of understanding from folk who just don’t always “get it” and can and will say some really dumb things like “it can’t be THAT bad”, “just put on some good music”, “do something to distract yourself” etc. etc.
In the most simple terms, you’re dealing with a chemical imbalance in the brain. That’s depression and some of the anxiety. Other parts of anxiety are learned responses (or ways your head and body learn to cope with repeated unwanted stimuli). There has been a lot about PTSD in the news lately because many of our armed forces are coming home from war zones with it. But you don’t have to be in a battle zone to acquire it.
I’ve been diagnosed with all three of these plus chronic pain from idiopathic peripheral nueropathy and dependent personality disorder. All of these except the chronic pain were caused from being married to my ex-husband for 27 years.
I get lots of help from the medical community. First let me say that depression LIES. It tells you that you can get over this all by yourself; you don’t need meds you can just climb out of the hole yourself and all the while it just digs the hole deeper and deeper until the only way you can see to get out is by doing something, anything to end the pain. Been there. The only things that kept me from offing myself were friends here that supported me and didn’t judge me. The other was that I couldn’t do that to me boyohs – have them walk in on whatever mess I would’ve left behind and I would also leave them with no escape from their father.
A few months before my husband had divorce papers served he had me committed to the behavioral unit of the hospital and that’s where they diagnosed me and got me started on straightening out the chemical inbalance. I talk with my counselor every week to work out coping strategies and sometimes to be angry in a safe place. I go to a pain management clinic for help with the chronic pain. My counselor helps me with that as well ’cause folk who’ve never experienced that don’t understand. It adds to the stress to have an invisible disability; where you look normal on the outside but have pain so bad you wish it would swallow you whole and end the misery.
The depression, anxiety and PTSD are fix-able. It’ not always a quick fix… I’ve been working on mine a little over two years now. The chronic pain I’ve been working on for almost twenty years… Get yourself to a doctor that works with an interdisciplinary group. Help them put a team together for you, professionals who are on your side and want you to be whole and well. You can’t really do it by yourself. If you have a religious faith include that in your recovery. Start talking to people. Let your mum know that you are at a breaking point. Get her on your team. Don’t just rely on homeopathic remedies because it often takes more than that and positive thinking. And once you do start feeling better DON’T stop your treatment medically without speaking to your team first. That’s part of the lie that depression will tell you; I feel better so I don’t have to take an antidepressnt any more. Hope this helps.
twindragonsmum
tdm
TDM is a wise woman. American society has relegated mental illness to a “shameful” or “imaginary” disease. It is an illness that should be taken seriously and treated. It isn’t an “attitude problem” or a “weakness.” It does require making a decision to help yourself and let others help you. If you’re ready to be better, you’re already moving the right direction. But don’t believe that it’s a lonely road that you just have to tough out. Allow friends and family to support you, and get medical help–not just pharmacological, but also counseling of some sort. You are not alone, and it doesn’t take a war to suffer from PTSD. I think that there was some evidence out there that showed that 9/11 actually triggered PTSD in a good number of people who weren’t physically at any of the locations that were affected or even have a friend, relative, or acquaintance directly involved. Most recovered after a few weeks or months. But where other issues are happening at the same time as PTSD, it can be harder to recover and they can feed off each other.
I don’t have a lot of information my self, but I do know and have learned the PTSD can take form in a lot of different ways. It was semi explained to me that even my non epileptic seizures are a reaction to stress, both mental and physical. Mostly physical, and caused by severe trauma with mentions of PTSD and have started to stay calmed down as long as I am not pushing it to hard.
In the same way, you will probably need help, but there is nothing wrong with that. The brain reacts in funny ways, but this does not mean something is specifically wrong with you. Everybody has their own troubles, but it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. And in the same way, as everyone has their own struggles, so it won’t be easy for others to understand. It isn’t their “test” in life. In the same sense, the universe wouldn’t have given you this test if you over come it.
So, I guess as much as it may seem a huge wall, and long winding path, just remember that it is your path, and no one else’s. It will make you strong, and then look back at everything you have already overcome. Some days it will be hard, but try to take it one step, one day at a time. You gotta start somewhere. As hard as the path may be, if you keeping trying, eventually you’ll get where your going.
and read this: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
This is the spoon theory. I may have posted it elsewhere, but it applies to so many places in life. Epilepsy, Lupus, depression, anxiety, PSTD, fibromyalgia, cancer and almost everywhere. Just remember to count your spoons, and remember their is always a good helpful community here. Some people won’t get it, some will probably laugh, or give you a funny look. But it does not matter. This is your battle, not theirs. They may not be on your side this time, but eventually it will be their turn.
Just be you. Be strong. Laugh lots.
( it may be hard, but they do say laughter is the best medicine. And apparently it creates endorphin’s, the hormone that make you happy. I could be wrong though..not sure)
Recently married to the ever lovable BiPolarBear (little John)
www.weaselsoneasels.com | www.facebook.com/weaselsoneaselsAs seen on This is Life with Lisa Ling on CNN (2018) !
Always open for pyo commissions, repairs and fine artwork! Email me for current prices! awier(@)weaselsoneasels.comThank you. I know some of you have been through a lot too as you mentioned so thought you would be able to understand which is helpful. It’s weird because I had really bad panic attacks and nightmares as a child along with insomnia and not being able to sleep because I was afraid I would die if I fell asleep and was afraid of the dark. That may sound really weird and I am not sure exactly what triggered it but it was a struggle every night to go to bed as I would fear having more nightmares or not waking up. I think the stress of moving a lot and then having to move in with my grandma who had Alzheimer’s and was violent and didn’t remember us and my mom trying to take care of her took a toll on me and then her dying was pretty hard on both my mom and I. I couldn’t even watch TV or the news or anything with violence or it would trigger panic attacks. I got over that though and learned to control the panic attacks when I was a teenager when I started studying psychology and tried to help counsel myself. I tried counseling as a child and it didn’t do anything for me so I guess with what I have been going through the last few years I didn’t think to pursue counseling again or talk to a doctor.
Even applying for temporary income support they usually tell you they will help you for one month and then you are expected to find full time work after that. Even the thought of that raises my blood pressure as I just can’t cope with people right now especially after working in customer service and sales which stressed me out so much I couldn’t sleep or function normally and wouldn’t last more than a few weeks at any job. So it wasn’t until they said if I have a medical reason to not work to go talk to my doctor that something finally clicked and I was like it’s not normal for me to feel this way. With everything I have gone through the last 3 years I would be lucky to be able to hold a job for two weeks and then get fired and have this cycle keep going until I finally seek some help. So anyway I am relieved now that I could finally talk to someone after not telling anyone what was going on the last three years and tell them what I had been through without them just rejecting what I said as an excuse not to work or something. My doctor was actually fairly helpful and said I might need a few months to get help and counseling until I can work again although if this hasn’t gone away in the last couple years I am expecting that there will be no quick fix.
I now realize looking back on my life were very few times I was ever actually happy. All I did was worry. I was convinced as a a child I wouldn’t live past 18 and then when I turned 18 and realized I had no plan for my life that I better figure out what to do next. Now I am 30 and look back at the last 12 years and wonder what I have accomplished in my life. I am still single and have to share a place with my mom since we lost our houses. I feel like my ex took away my opportunity to get married and have a family and wasted 3 years of my life. Yet out of everything I still have a sliver of hope that things will get better and I hope I will meet someone and be able to have a family. I just know now though that I won’t be able to attract the kind of person I want in my life until I help myself first. So instead of sacrificing everything again for a guy who wasn’t worth my time like I did for my ex, it’s now my turn to take care of myself and get myself better so I can meet someone better. I just hope things will get better but I feel like I have a lot more research to do about mental health.
Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!
I know you don’t want to be on meds, but really… they do help. i know many people with depression and anxiety, and the meds help them live a normal life. A chemical imbalance can’t be fixed easily, but can be managed quite well, so I do suggest looking into it. Pharmaceuticals aren’t all bad, just like everything else in life, do your research on them, and get advice from knowledgeable people.
Yet out of everything I still have a sliver of hope that things will get better and I hope I will meet someone and be able to have a family. I just know now though that I won’t be able to attract the kind of person I want in my life until I help myself first. So instead of sacrificing everything again for a guy who wasn’t worth my time like I did for my ex, it’s now my turn to take care of myself and get myself better so I can meet someone better.
This. <3 I don't have much to offer on this subject, except hugs and love.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and have been diagnosed with PTSD as well. I also don’t want to be on meds….but I am. And I will continue to be on them as long as I am helped by them (which could possibly be the rest of my life). I have seen the havoc my unmedicated self wreaks upon my life and family.
Twinsdragonsmum is very wise. She also hit the nail on the head when she said “Depression lies.”
Just remember this… “I am not my diagnosis. I am who I choose to be. My choice and mine alone. I choose to take my meds or not. I choose to keep my medical appointments or not. I choose to follow the advice of my team or not. My choice. I choose. I also accept the consequences of my choices; the good AND the bad. I will not be guilted into doing something just because other people think I should be better by now. It is my recovery. I CHOOSE. MY CHOICE AND MINE ALONE. NO EXCUSES. ACCEPT OR REJECT. IT IS MY CHOICE.
tdm
tdm
My sister koishii and I both have Ptsd. I’ll pm you in a little bit with some of the research that I have done.
Okay. I will watch for your message. Thanks for the comments everyone.
Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!
Something else I didn’t see mentioned was that different things work for different people, so those who said something that may have seemed trifling to you may have helped them. We all deal with PTSD in different ways. I’m going thru a bit right now and I think my husband is, too, though he won’t talk about it. I can’t blame him because I won’t talk about it either. One thing that helped me was that I do have a right to feel the way I feel. What I experience may not have been that bad to, say, someone who was shot at or blown up, but it was traumatic to ME and the worst thing I had gone thru. You have a right to feel however you want, and talking about it may or may not help. For me, its feeling useful and running the piss out of myself. It doesn’t take but a day for me to feel worthless and I am emotionally on the fence again if I don’t feel productive. I went to the EENT for a stupid hearing test and the doctor asked me if I knew anyone downrange who’d been killed. I guess it’s routine to ask, but I got pissed and started crying. Poor guy. I was just there for hearing loss! LOL
Anyway, you have a right to feel how you feel. It’ll take time, but hang in there and try different things.
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