Fear of Flying

[Hannah]

Hi guys!

So this is really quite early to be talking about this, but…
In a little less than a year (sometime between June and July of 2015) I am going to be flying out to Utah to help my boyfriend move back across the country with me (to NH!). I am absolutely thrilled about it!

The problem is.. I have a terrible fear of flying.

I’ve flown before – 3 or 4 times. The most recent was in 2007 when I flew out to California for a weekend. The difference on this trip is that I will only have to fly one way, and then we are driving back! Woo hoo!

Now I know what you’re thinking. Hannah, driving in your car is MUCH more dangerous than taking a flight! I know this, trust me! I’ve seen the statistics – that you have about a million to one chance of being on a flight with any type of accident (and about an 11 million to 1 chance of being on a flight with a fatal accident!) where you’re closer to a 100 to 1 chance that you’ll be in an accident in a car.

Lets face it – if I can’t get my favorite uni straight from the factory in a grab bag batch of 300, I’d have to have some terrible luck to even be on a plane that had some type of accident (fatal or no!).

My fear does not understand logic. It’s an inherent, annoying-as-heck, throw-all-sense-out-the-window fear, and I hate it.

I want nothing more than to be able to hop on a plane and fly somewhere to visit some new beautiful place and enjoy it without thinking about the fact that I’ll have to fly back home afterwards! But my fear doesn’t want to let me.

I’ve taken the cute little online courses that are designed to inform you as much as possible and give you that peace of mind that you might need if you’re afraid of flying, and although it does help a little, my irrational fear still doesn’t listen. I absolutely hate takeoff. I hate the sound of the engines revving, I hate the feeling of speeding down the runway, of the moment that the wheels leave the ground and tip you back as you ascend. I hate turbulence and the knowledge of being thousands of feet in the air (I’m afraid of heights, but oddly, this doesn’t usually play into my fear of flying, other than the perceived knowledge of how high I am, or the feeling of “nothing but air” beneath my feet for miles), and other than that awful feeling of pressure that you can sometimes feel when the plane dips down and begins its descent, landing is the best part of the flight for me. Because it means it’s almost over, of course!

So my question for you guys – are you afraid of flying? Do you fly in spite of that, and if so – what do you do to help you when you’re on a flight? I am going to try to rid myself as much as I can of this silly fear in this next year, and part of me wonders if the best method might be to “expose” myself to it as much as possible, or just do my best to bottle it up until the flight? (somehow I think the latter would be a bad idea!)

It’s the silliest thing in the world. I have one single flight in between me and starting a new life with my boyfriend, and the flight is the part that terrifies me!

:Sp

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[Kim]

I went on flights as a kid but didn’t really remember how it was until about over 10 years later I decided to work on cruise ships partially to overcome my fear of deep water but realized I also had a fear of flying. I hated everything leading up to the takeoff, but then calmed down a little once we got in the air. But every bit of turbulence or a feeling of change in pressure just made me cringe, made my palms sweat and my heart pound. Getting close to landing as well I was just praying the whole time we wouldn’t crash. I made it through though and even managed to get over my fear of deep water, going out on cruise ships in the middle of the ocean. How?

Well I faced my fears, realized I lived through it and basically started changing my pattern of thinking. I went on many flights and cruises after that and got used to it to the point where I had no anxiety anymore. It really came down to re-programing my thinking. I basically told myself that when I got up in the air or went out in the ocean that everything was fine and that nothing bad would happen. I would look around at all the other passengers who were fine and carefree and tell myself if they were calm I should be too and there was nothing to worry about. I imagined everything going well instead of going wrong. I imagined taking off and landing safely, arriving at my destination and looking forward to all the fun I would have and all the things I would do. I basically just realized there is no point in getting anxious or worried because it will change nothing. The experience is all in how you see things and how you think about things. If you think you will be fine or have a good time when you are in a situation, you will. I managed to overcome my fear and this is coming from someone with an anxiety disorder who used to have panic attacks and nightmares all the time when I was a kid and teenager. I still sometimes get nervous of things but I immediately catch myself and what thoughts I am thinking and anytime I am anxious it’s because the inner dialogue in my head is saying negative things or asking negative questions. When I consciously stop thinking those things and start replacing those thoughts with positive or uplifting thoughts, I calm down and am fine. It’s subconscious negative thinking usually that makes you feel bad so if you consciously change it, eventually the positive thoughts become subconscious as well and you overcome your fear.

Now when I fly or go out on boats, I just say a prayer and then relax. I believe I will be safe and sure enough I am. When I get on a plane now I usually just have a comfy pillow to rest on and earplugs and just fall asleep trusting everything will be fine. I actually like sitting by the window and if I am not sleeping I look out at the landscape below and think how pretty everything is and take pictures if I have my camera there. Or I might read or watch a movie or something which are also good distractions. Anything that keeps your mind focused will also help you from drifting into negative thinking patterns. All the above might sound easier said than done but psychologically it really works so hope it can help you.

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[Hannah]

Thank you so much Kim! That really helped reading your experience with it. I read from one person who got over his fear that he did pretty much what you did – he intentionally did not avoid flying and tried to do it as much as time and his wallet would permit to get himself over his fear.

I may not be able to fly a ton, but I definitely want to be able to fly comfortably when I do. Even though it’s not for many months yet, I know I’ll come back and read this again before I fly, and I thank you for your words of encouragement! I’ve gotta do my best to get myself in that same “everything is going to be fine” mindset 😀

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[Ela_Hara]

I’m not afraid of flying, but to help keep your mind off of it and occupied, bring a book to read, some favorite music on an mp3 player, or if you have a laptop, tablet or other portable player – bring some movies to watch and make believe you are on a bus. 😉

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[Prezaurian]

I’m not afraid of flying (thankfully). Being a military brat doesn’t allow it and I guess it never occurred to me that it was something to be afraid of. Odd considering I absolutely HATE heights. Those make me freeze up.

I think if it’s possible to distract yourself, do that. BUT, if it’s something that is so uncomfortable for you that you can’t be distracted…. Perhaps you could take an over the counter sleep aid? Maybe you could try sleeping through the whole flight? I know it’s sort of like avoidance but…perhaps it’ll help?

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[Falcolf]

My goodness, Hannah, you’re seriously experiencing everything that I hate about flying too. I don’t mind the heights too much on a plane though I am afraid of them (I’d rather keep both feet planted on the ground, thank you haha) they don’t bother me either. For me it is tremendously unnerving to be on a plane – I am hyperaware of every correction that it makes and I curse at it constantly – “Fly straight darn you!” I hold on for dear life the entire way and nine times out of ten I spend the entire flight on breathing excersizes, struggling to keep my heart rate down. I’ve got mild anxiety disorder and my body’s chosen method of biting me in the haunch is heart palpitations. Planes really mess with my head and it’s always a vast relief to be able to get off of them. Landings are sublime. I usually sprint off that tin can and pretty much plough into whoever is waiting for me with a desperate hug. Once, my nerves over getting on a plane were so bad that I almost did not get on and I would have been stranded in Vancouver. I was so screwed up by my nerves that the fact that I would have had to find another way home in that instance did not very much matter to me. The statistics that planes are safer don’t matter whatsoever to my fear and it’s a shame, because I actually really like the bloody things – I just don’t want to fly on them, apparently.

I haven’t really found a way to deal with my flying issues yet other than taking calming things like Nervoheel and Rescue Remedy. (I refuse to take conventional drugs – too many side effects.) I’m supposed to go to Texas next year to visit a buddy and my plan is to basically dose the dickens out of myself with GABA and Nervoheel in the week or two before the flight. That should, theoretically (I am hoping) make my heart behave itself because I don’t think I can do breathing exersizes for FIVE hours. It’s exhausting doing it for only half of one. I also plan on looking into using pressure points to calm myself down and perhaps purchasing one of those travel bracelets which are supposed to help. People say that distractions help, but I have yet to be able to tear my brain away from its usual inflight state of OMG WE’RE GONNA DIE. Basically, the slightest twitch of a wing bothers me and turbulence is pure hell. (And there’s a lot of THAT here in British Columbia – I have rarely had a flight without any. One time going into Vancouver I felt more like I was on a roller coaster than a plane!)

Good luck with your trip Hannah! I really hope that we can both get over our flying woes someday. I’d like to travel the world and see friends who are far away but my issues with flying like yours are a huge barrier. It sucks! 🙁

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[Setsunawolf]

I was never afraid of flying as a kid, but as I got older I do have some anxiety with it. I remind myself, “if I am meant to die a plane accident I will, even if I never step foot on a plane, the plane will come to me.” This is especially poignant to me because I said those very words to a friend of mine the day before 9/11. 😕 It kinda proved my point….but not in the way I meant.

If we spend out lives in fear, then we miss out on the living. It looks like you’ve good information and ideas to help you overcome your fear. Good luck. 🙂

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[Melissa]

Hmm, several options, can’t promise their effectiveness for you and your specific situation, but they’re worth considering.

One option is EFT, it’s a kind of hmm, westernized acupressure that can be self-applied and used to release harmfully excessive emotions.

Another option (which works beautifully for some, but may horribly backfire for others) is to imagine and wrestle with the absolute worst case scenario till you reach acceptance of the possibility. For example, I don’t have to do much public speaking (or even speaking in small groups) but considering the possibility that I might come across as an offensive gibbering idiot and get booed offstage, raises some anxiety even as I type this, but it also allows me to examine that fear, say ‘hello’ to it, and then temporarily set it aside as needed.

[Brandy]

Vodka and Vallium :bigsmile:

Honestly there is nothing I could say to help alleviate your fears other than exposure! I found I was afraid to fly when in small planes but on the larger commercial airlines I’m good. Here is how I look at everything…. If it’s my time… My time will find me no matter where I am or what I’m doing so being afraid and not doing things because of my fear would be a waste. I want to live and experience the things I can with the time I’m given. That being said…. I’m pretty sure since my greatest fear on the planet is sharks….. When I go one the 10day live aboard vessel great white shark dive with my sister… I hope it’s not my time but if it is…. At least I will have had the courage to face my ultimate fear before I leave here and have one hell of an amazing experience to take with me.

You will do fine Hannah, just breathe. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway despite the fear. I believe you are a courageous woman and will be able to face this challenge head on 🙂

[Dragoneer_88]

I was never afraid to fly until I flew for the first time. It wasn’t a bad experience. Everything just sunk in when I stepped foot on the plane. I’m about to get on a plane and trust strangers with my life high in the air? But, heck I wasn’t going to let that fear ruin my vacation. Takeoff and landing, I do not like. Landing felt like an elevator (I hate elevators), but in the air it wasn’t bad at all. My fears were unwarranted really. I’ve flown several times since then and each time was nothing to worry about (even though I’m still scared to fly, but it’s more about the height then being on the plane.) I’m actually more afraid of being in elevators than being on a plane. It’s not the tight space, it’s the dropping feeling and not being able to see where your going. IDK

Like others have mentioned, bring something to keep your mind off the flight like a book or a crossword, etc. I usually read a book. Also, I’d be less worried flying domestically verses international. I’d also like to think the FAA is fairly strict about safety as well.

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