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Yup, you can choose to be happy and choose to be not offended. It takes some practice, though! And you have to WANT to mean it!! LOL that’s the hard part… tricking your brain that you mean it, but it can be done.
I agree with most of what has been said here from all different points of view. I think happiness is a choice for the most part. We can be placed in tough situations or crummy circumstances in life and choose to be strong and optimistic for the future or choose to let things get to us or feel like a victim. There are different ways of thinking. On one hand people who are super sensitive can be easily offended short term and it’s hard to help that but they can choose to overcome any criticism quickly and lift their heads up and keep going. We can choose to care about what others say or think of us or not. If something bad or tragic happens in our lives, I think it is hard not to get upset or sad but again we can choose how quickly to overcome it.
As far as depression goes, I didn’t understand it when I was younger because I was always able to choose to be happy if I wanted to be. When I got older I went through a lot in my life where I had bouts of short term depression and always pulled myself out but there were a couple of years including last year I fell into a longer depression where I just didn’t care about anything anymore. It wasn’t really feeling sadness or being unhappy, it was more just like I didn’t care anymore about anything. I didn’t care what time I went to bed or if I even got out of bed when I woke up. I felt like I had nothing to wake up for. I didn’t care when or what I ate. I didn’t care if I exercised or took care of my body. It was even a challenge to clean the house or shower or do laundry. A lot of it stemmed from my boyfriend moving away for work and not seeing him and then breaking up when I found out he cheated and all that drama. I was really struggling the last couple months up til now. The only thing I had any emotion about was hating him and how ‘he ruined’ my life. He made an effort recently though to make restitution and I was able to let those bad feelings go and it has helped.
The biggest thing that I have realized though that has helped pull me out of depression has been that I was so focused on myself and my problems that I didn’t care about anyone else or didn’t try to help anyone else and the thing that has helped me is to just force myself out of my comfort zone to start helping other people, volunteering, donating to charities, trying to be a friend to others struggling with their own problems and just humbling myself and realizing that there is a lot more in the world I should be focused on and trying to make a difference rather than just worrying about myself. When I take the focus off myself and put it onto greater pursuits and trying to make a difference in the world and helping other people, I suddenly care about things and don’t feel so depressed. I suddenly have that spark of life and energy to care and to take action. It’s hard and I still struggle day to day but it helps.
Another thing I find helps is getting a lot of daylight or light therapy in the winter and taking lots of vitamin D since we don’t get a lot of sunlight in the bleak winter months. I know that depression can be a chemical imbalance in the brain but diet, exercise and enough sleep do help especially if you are keeping your melatonin and serotonin levels regulated. One thing that helps regulate your pineal gland which secretes melatonin and serotonin is to avoid fluoride in water, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc. which can cause calcification of the pineal gland which prevents proper release of those chemicals. I only use natural products that have no fluoride and have done a lot of detoxes to get heavy metals out of my system as fluoride in your body attracts heavy metals like mercury and aluminum which affect all the systems in your body, especially in your brain. Also avoid using deodorant with aluminum, using aluminum pans, tin cans and tin foil if possible. I only use natural deodorant made of salt crystals and it works awesome because the mineral salts kill bacteria and prevent odors way better than chemicals in deodorants. Also avoid products with high fructose corn syrup as that can contain mercury. Hope some of that helps.
Looking for rainbow or pink & teal grab bags!
Well, I wish TDM had mentioned depression in her first post.
Sometimes it’s hard to admit you suffer from depression. People don’t always react well. People don’t always understand, and some judge, and some say really thoughtless things. (I’ve been called “lazy” and a “whiner” and a bunch of other stuff like that. I’ve been told I’m just making it up to get people to give me attention. And of course I’ve been told to “buck up”, “cheer up” “stop being so negative” and “just get over it” more than once.) I think culturally we’re starting to get a little better about that, but I’ve still run into an awful lot of ignorance and judgement, which can make it hard to “out” that you have such a problem.
I’m sorry that I didn’t mention it earlier in the conversation (no worries etruscan!) Like rockreader, meds only do so much. On top of the chronic depression I also have chronic severe anxiety, for which I will have to take meds for the rest of my life, also PTSD and dependant personality disorder all of which were diagnosed in the midst of the divorce and was hospitalized for. Much of the depression comes from the idiopathic nueropathy that I have in my feet and for which I now have electrodes implanted in my spinal column to try to control pain levels. The dependant personality disorder, anxiety and PTSD, developed over the years from being married to my now non-husband. With therapy these may or may not resolve themselves. I am genetically predisposed for depression. I watched both grandmothers, two aunties (one from each side of the family), my mum, my sister, three cousins, four nieces and two great-nieces, my sons, one brother, two uncles and now me go through varying levels of this. There are times when some of us have been suicidal (including me) and when it’s that bad there’s almost nothing that will stop you. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought of me boyohs coming home from their dad’s and having to deal with the mess.
I guess I framed this in “choices” because I have seen it help family members and I felt that I must’ve been doing something wrong because it wasn’t working. I’m sorry if this topic has been difficult for some of you. I just find that I process things better if I can get more than one other opinion. And just so you know, my psychiatrist has assured me that I’m not crazy, I just have a chemical inbalance in my noggin’ and the really bad misfortune to be married to a controlling, unpredictable, jack-ass (her words not mine) for the last 27 years…
I do know that having something to do that keeps my hands and head occupied does help some. I’m signed up for an apprenticeship at an art glass studio just the next town over and since I’m kinda addicted to glass, it should aughta be like working in a candy store. It’s at the Holdman Studio and they know of some of my health issues and have agreed to take me on any way. If you’d like to see someoff the work they do and that I get to learn their wedsite is http://www.holdmanstudios.com Thanks for all your ideas and suggestions. You’ll never know how much it means to me.
twindragonsmum
tdm
Wow – that studio looks like a wonderful and exciting opportunity to learn about working with glass. Congratulations! 🙂
Out of curiosity, after the issue of depression came up, I asked my husband about it since he has depression and I don’t.
He said he thinks in the case of depression it’s partially a choice and partially out of your hands. He partially chooses by remembering to take his medications, trying to avoid situations that get him down, and when depression is telling him things that he knows on some level aren’t true – he tries to remind himself depression lies and it’s not really as bad as it feels.
But to some degree, he’s just a passenger on the train and the chemicals in his brain are at the wheel.
I think we both struggle with this situation at times. I’m very much the “life knocked me down, I’ve moped, now it’s time to dust myself off and get on with it” type. Sometimes he can’t do that which frustrates me. I’m sure it frustrates and upsets him sometimes that I get mad when he CAN’T do something (versus won’t).
Depression sucks.
That art glass studio looks amazing! I really hope you enjoy yourself there – creating beauty is its own reward (cliche but true). Good luck!
Wow! Count me envious. 🙂 It looks like it will be a wonderful place and I hope it really helps you!
I now have electrodes implanted in my spinal column to try to control pain levels.
Me boyohs say I am now battery operated and remote controlled; they want to know where my “off switch” is… *snerk!*
tdm
I suffer from depression too. It started as a teenager for me. I don’t really get any severe mood swings or anything and I’m happy sometimes(like watching a good movie) but for the most part I just feel neutral. Not happy but not sad either. I don’t really know what normal is supposed to feel like. Getting myself to do everyday things can be a struggle. I just can’t be bothered to do things other than immerse myself in the fictional world(usually in the form of TV). One thing that has helped me recently for having more energy to face the day with is Vitamin b12. While motivation can still be a struggle I have found that B12 has probably helped me more than any antidepressants that I’ve tried have. It amazing what having energy to do things(and actually doing them) can do for your mood. Now all I need is a giant stack of round to it’s…….
I keep coming back to this thread and thinking about it. I remember reading in the scriptures something to the effect that to be peaceful with all as far as it depends on you. So to a certain extent, we can make certain choices. I suffer small bouts with depression which is normal–it doesn’t interfere with my daily life. But there are those who just can’t help it–a chemical imbalance or some life changes that are just so traumatic. This would include death of a spouse, divorce, death of loved ones, loss of a job, financial woes and the list could go on. When my husband passed on 14 years ago, I really battled with depression which lasted for years. It was so hard for me to make myself care about anything again.
I do ponder about happiness being a choice. I can be content with my life right now–have shelter, clothing, food, most of my necessities but I can still feel down at times. Sometimes things are easier said than done–I want to feel happy and not worry about things. I do feel very happy at times and then the next day, I’m worried about some small thing. But having a positive outlook does help. I’m doing a martial arts class and am constantly beating myself up for the things I can’t do–how maybe I’m just too old to do this. But people remind me of the things I can do and that I’m doing darn good for someone my age who is starting this without prior training. So I take from this to concentrate on the positive. Think of the good things in your life and the people who care about you.
A lot of us have varying opinions–yes, to some degree, happiness can be a choice. If you are in a sad situation you can make up your mind to do the best you can at the moment. My late husband had a saying–doing the best I can with the tools I have.
I feel your mom was very wise, Beckums and her advice does command consideration. To the best of our abilities in any certain situation, let us be happy–as far as it can depend on us. I hope some of this makes sense!
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