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So yea… I’m sorry guys but I’m going to sit back for a few minutes and throw myself a little pity party for a few moments if that’s okay. I know my problems are probably just a drop in the bucket compared to a lot of other peoples, but I’ve just been really down lately… like don’t even want to leave the house anymore down. What do they call it… a hikikomori or something like that? I don’t hate leaving the house, but I don’t like it either. Working just seems stupid… like a huge waste of time. Not that just sitting at home isn’t either. I guess I’m just hitting one of those “What should I do with me life” humps, but I feel like I’m too old and didn’t make enough good decisions to make any difference so why bother even trying anymore. All I really have in my life is my job, Shaun, my animals… and that’s about it. My Windstones I guess, but those are things and they’re certainly not going to help me solve my problems.
Believe me, like I care how Home Depot’s profit share is. All that place does is work me like a dog and for what? I spend half my week being the designated store artist and paint stupid signs and crap for promotions to just get dragged in the office each moth for my monthly sales analysis and screamed at about why I didn’t make my sales goal. Uh… cause I WAS CRAMMED UP IN A CORNER FOR 18 HOURS PAINTING 6 EIGHT FOOT REDUNDANT ASS SIGNS THAT JUST GOT THROWN IN THE GARBAGE TWO DAYS LATER SO I CAN MAKE MORE TO REPLACE THEM! *sigh* It’s not as if I mind doing every single sign, balloon arch, and whatever idiotic display they happen to think of in the store, but getting my ass chewed out every week without so much as a thank you is REALLY PISSING ME OFF! Every meeting we have people get all these awards for meeting their sales goal or for a customer compliment. My coworker Peter was even given a $50.00 award for cleaning out out refrigerator in our break room. They have NO FREAKING idea what it would cost them to hire a real sign painter to paint their stupid wall murals in our training room or paint all their goddamn signs. I’m just so sick of being under appreciated and underpaid. I spent today painting yet another wall mural of our “Value Wheel” which just SCREAMS hypocrisy! As I’m painting the wall I’m thinking to myself, “What a freaking JOKE!” Also I had to draw like 40 flowers and cut them out for this ridiculous “sign pollution” (when there are SO MANY signs, you can’t even look at them, cause there are SO MANY) and I had to draw and color life size clothes, like pants, skirts, overalls, shirts and stuff for a giant clothes line my boss thought up so we can make sure customers “Dont get hung out to dry by the competition” *gag* God, If I cut myself is my blood going to be orange or what? :puke: Oh! Yea, and then I get called “So what have you sold today?” “Uh… I’ve been in the back painting all day.” “WTF! That’s no excuse! Get your ass selling or you’ll be in the office. You know I can write you up for not meeting your goal!” *rips hair out of head* Then our new store manager (who’s another fruitloop) wants me to lead a customer product knowledge seminar for painting lawn chairs………………… yea…… I GOTTA PAINT LAWN CHAIRS while people watch me in wonderment! *hangs head in shame* I swear… I’m going to snap and run to the hardware department…. grab the most destructive power tool I can carry… shave my head and tear my apron up into little strings to wrap around my forehead like Rambo and end up on the 5 o clock news ransacking the store and drilling holes through my managers heads.
It’s not as if work is the only thing bothering me… Shaun and I are on the outs as well. We’ve been for a while. Thankfully he’s finally getting a decent job now. He got a promotion to be the LPM at the Walmart he was working at. So it’s basically loss prevention with manager status and like a $4.00 raise. He will also be getting a shift differential on top of that, so he will almost be making the same money as me. Good news right? Well, he’s been awfully chummy with a lot of the females at work as of lately and I’ve found a couple of disturbing videos and saved conversations on his computer. Also… he’s been looking at apartments too. I’m not one to really be nosy, but when he’s stupid enough to do it on my computer I tend to stumble across these things. We talked about it and are now doing that “conversation was dropped and we’re acting like nothing even happened” Now he’s gone to great lengths to have his own desktop back up and running and is very *SUPER FAST CLICKING, ESCAPING, or otherwise CLOSING WINDOWS* if I happen to walk anywhere near the room it’s in. Yea… something is going on… I’m not blind… it’s weird though… I don’t even care that much. It’s like… we got through all the hard times with him being out of work, me carrying all the weight of the bills and him not driving (which he STILL isn’t) but we fought so much and cut each other so deeply saying hurtful things through our stress, that we just don’t care for each other like we used to. That’s how it seems anyway… even though it looks like we FINALLY made it and things are going to start to get easier… it’s too late and we just have been ignoring the inevitable. Like e don’t want to admit it to ourselves, but each know the truth just by seeing the look one one anothers faces.
Another thing… ALL my animals have turned against me. All except my cat Snickers anyway. Both the babies are tearing up the whole house. All my blinds and door frames have been raked to splinters and Ein, my dog just barks at me non stop and is always curled up with Shaun and growling at me. He’s turned them all against me. He never disciplines ANY of them! I ALWAYS have to be the bad guy. They are all IMPOSSIBLE to deal with now if you have food. They are IN YOUR PLATE! Paws flying and making you flip your food all over the floor (and yourself in most cases) All my animals were well behaved, intelligent, non destructive and LOVED ME until Shaun showed up. I suppose it’s stupid to blame him, but seriously. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid or if the way he has been feeling about me is reflecting through them.
Our mortgage is totally fu*ked too. My sister told me we had this new payment for the past 4 months. We were qualified for a modification and things were going to be easier. I saw a foreclosure letter in her mailbox the other day so I asked her about it. She said it’s nothing to worry about, but it says we OWE $12,000 and she’s due in court in Boston next month! She’s like “Oh don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.” Has she even been PAYING the mortgage?!? Gah! I give her my half and she takes care of the rest, but I wonder how far behind she let things slip before we qualified for this program… and if we were approved, why do we still owe so much? I don’t want to just me cypohening my money into this house if we’re going to loose it.
GAH! ……….. 🙄
It’s just been one of those days I guess. I’m worried about the future… will I have to swing all this on my own soon? … and if I have to… which I can if I have to…. how long will I last at my job before I go freaking postal!?! I don’t go out and do a damn thing so I’ll just end up single and alone working at Home Depot. Seriously…. I had better dreams for myself then that. Geeze….. this is so depressing.
Oh, I need ball joints for my truck too so there’s another $800 bucks I have to dish out within the next month. I swear… it never ends. Having the only vehicle means I can’t let anything happen or else neither of us work.
I just go and sit in my Windstone room (gotta keep them safe from the furry terrors so they have their own room) I wonder if I’ll end up an old lady just sitting and staring at my collection like it’s the only thing that I have left. Like the crazy old cat lady…. but a dragon lady. Sometimes sitting in the room helps me clear my head out and cheer me up just a little… it’s not working tonight though. There’s too much going on and my head is too full.
I don’t want to go to work in the morning. I just want to stay home. This whole thing really sucks. In my mind I know Shaun has to work all day so I can just be by myself all day if I don’t go to work. I can be alone without people hounding me or driving me crazy or making me feel like crap all the time. I just want to be home and alone by myself for one damn day. Just the quiet so I can think peacefully and get my head straightened out. I’m just so tired. I’m so tired of this.
Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs**SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry DragonsGot a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs**SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry DragonsNo advice, just *big hugs* It’s terrible to be so down (been there, done that), but you are very strong woman and you will figure out how to come out on top!
Huge, fuzzy hugs!! Maybe when they ask you to make signs, just smile nicely and say, “I am so sorry, but I have to make my sales quota for the month, maybe someone else can help you.”
About the other stuff…I have no advice, sorry. Just more hugs.
I don’t really have advice for you, but ((hugs)).
Being down really sucks, and I hope you can pull out of it and come out on top, regardless of the outcome of all this.
(I have to admit, the picture of you going all Rambo on the Home Depot made me laugh a little)Sounds like me getting pushed around by the military D:… they’re always asking me to do painting and drawing, and designing this and making that…. then when sh*t starts to hit the fan cuz it starts to interfere with my work schedule i end up getting my a$$ chewed by my sgts because i missed a formation cuz i was so tired and passed out in my room… when u pull someone whos been on night shift for 5 months, and randomly throw them on day shift for like 3days to paint with no time to adjust, theyre gonna be tired.. not to mention really screw up their normal schedule… it eventually just got to the point where i said screw it i have more important things to do, my job is not to be a painting slave and all this really messes up everything else.. after this, im done with painting. So maybe u can go to ur manager ppls and tell them u dont wanna paint for them anymore, unless its part of ur job description lol..then ur screwed 😆
im sorry to hear all that has been going on 🙁 . Shaun sounds like hes up to very suspicious activity indeed. I dont mean to offend or mean anything bad by it.. but.. maybe its time to “take out the trash” so to speak…
Hang in there–it’s tough but you have to let go of the baggage to grab onto something new and worthwhile. It isn’t easy and something that looks like it’s going to ‘kill’ you may actually bring you to something better. Being alone isn’t bad either–been alone for 10 years and you don’t have anyone second guessing you and putting their sh*t in your way. The best ideas come out of solitude!
I’m sorry to hear things are not going so well. I work in Home Depot for a vender. I never knew people could be so ugly till after i took this job. The way they treat their employees and venders…just ugly. When it comes to working with Home Depot’s managers i just say yes sir and drop whatever i am doing just to not get screamed at. I really do hope things get better for you.(Big Hugs)
Thanks guys! That means a lot. I dragged my ass out of bed and I’m back at work now hiding in the corner *praying* nobody notices I’m here for them to hand me another redundant project. My department head already left me a note saying to make sure I get all my quotes called and try and generate some leads for the department in between the signs she’s sure I’m going to have to make since new sales are starting today. *sigh*
At least she understands, but she’s hardly ever here to really get the full idea of how *ready to blow* I really feel. I have a crappy attitude here and I know it, but they keep me around because I always do what I am told and always get it ALL done no matter what they dump on me. Sometimes I feel like they are trying to make me either quit or the whole thing is a secret conspiracy to kill me slowly. 🙄
I have tomorrow off but… Shaun does too though. I’m sure we will have another fun filled day of ignoring eachother……..yay. I hope it doesn’t rain again, every day off I have had for the past 2 weeks has been rain. Maybe I can wach my busted up truck or something. I need to sand off all the rust and bondo it or something soon before it rots off the frame. LOL!
The mechanic said though it’s still in good enough shape that he doesn’t think I should get a new car and it’s very much worth fixing… which is a consolation at least for the horrible job I have done so far maintaining it so far. 😳 I guess I shouldn’t complain though, in the 7 years I’ve had it I haven’t had to sink mush money into it until now.
I got a PM from a member who I still need to reply to. It was lenghty and gave me a good talking to I need to hear. Since I’m at work I can keep “editing” this post, but I don’t have the time to write a response back for the PM, but I will after work. For now I just want to say thank you for your words. 🙂 Everything is spot on and I know it, but I guess I need to hear it from someone else as well. I WILL be okay.
Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs**SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragonsdrag0nfeathers wrote:Thanks guys! That means a lot. I dragged my ass out of bed and I’m back at work now hiding in the corner *praying* nobody notices I’m here for them to hand me another redundant project. My department head already left me a note saying to make sure I get all my quotes called and try and generate some leads for the department in between the signs she’s sure I’m going to have to make since new sales are starting today. *sigh*
At least she understands, but she’s hardly ever here to really get the full idea of how *ready to blow* I really feel. I have a crappy attitude here and I know it, but they keep me around because I always do what I am told and always get it ALL done no matter what they dump on me. Sometimes I feel like they are trying to make me either quit or the whole thing is a secret conspiracy to kill me slowly. 🙄
Drag0n, I feel you on the redundancy of some jobs. The break your ass attitude you have and the lazyass quality of your co-workers, who seem to do nothing while you do all of it. I’ve been there, and although some of them are the most thankless people you will ever meet in your life(co-workers), the customers you help, the ones whom you smile at…They will remember you. That you made their experience a good one while at your store. *Huge Hugs* and lotsa kudos for being able to get yourself up and off to work this morning!I have tomorrow off but… Shaun does too though. I’m sure we will have another fun filled day of ignoring eachother……..yay. I hope it doesn’t rain again, every day off I have had for the past 2 weeks has been rain. Maybe I can wach my busted up truck or something. I need to sand off all the rust and bondo it or something soon before it rots off the frame. LOL!
The mechanic said though it’s still in good enough shape that he doesn’t think I should get a new car and it’s very much worth fixing… which is a consolation at least for the horrible job I have done so far maintaining it so far. 😳 I guess I shouldn’t complain though, in the 7 years I’ve had it I haven’t had to sink mush money into it until now.
Well, if it is something you can fix, and sink no more money into for a while, then I say keep the truck and fix the bad stuff, and keep from having a payment to make.I got a PM from a member who I still need to reply to. It was lenghty and gave me a good talking to I need to hear. Since I’m at work I can keep “editing” this post, but I don’t have the time to write a response back for the PM, but I will after work. For now I just want to say thank you for your words. 🙂 Everything is spot on and I know it, but I guess I need to hear it from someone else as well. I WILL be okay.
Yes, you will be alright. I know you will! You’re too much of a hard case to break that easy anyway. 😉 Keep your chin up! 😀Hang in there and try to change the way you deal with people – including Shaun. You have to look out for YOU; no one else will. Like Jasmine said, just refuse nicely to do the signs, or even show a bill of how much you would charge if you were doing this for a client of yours.
But yeah, take a breather, get out to the movies or something. If the animals turned against you, make sure they stay with him if he leaves – and it sounds that maybe your relationship might have come to an end. It sucks, but it happens. As long as you’re ok to move on…
So really, all I can offer are big hugs!
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http://www.sarahjestin.com/feedbacklists.htmHaha! I giggled about the asking nicely part. I made up a lie and left work early today. I called my sister and told her to call me right back on the store line and say we had an emergency. :spank: Sister’s are good for that at least if not paying the mortgage.
My wrist is killing me. All 3 managers all bombarded me at once with signs to make. Seriously, it was like out of a sitcom! One minute one shows up talking about how “You’re JUST the talented artist he wanted to see, blah blah blah.” Then the other pops around the corner and is like “Oh boy do I have a project for you too” Then like 2 seconds later I get a page on the loudspeaker from the 3rd manager. When I called her from the mobile phone she’s like “Hey hope you’re not busy, case I have a project for your art skills I need done A-SAP”
I literally wanted to just SCREAM! I told them “Look, I can make signs for you but this is getting out of control! You know I DO ALSO paint sculptures to make a living and I can’t even FEEL my fingers right now! Not to mention I have my OWN worklist for my DEPARTMENT to do and I haven’t sold a thing all week so if I’m not on the floor I’m going to be in the office again explaining why I didn’t make sales goal” They all just looked at me with stupid looks on their faces and started explaining how EEEEEEEEEEEEEASY their project would be and to just suck it up. How I am being dramatic and need to just calm down. Pffftt…. I’m so done. Then one is like, well do you have a doctor’s note for your wrist? Seriously?! If I could afford to go to the damn doctor I WOULD! *huff puff huff puff*
SO GLAD I AM HOME NOW! I normally don’t like to make up lies to get out of work, but karma or not, I HAD to get out of there or I would have lost my job today!
*head desk*
I’m really hungry too and we have NOTHING in the house to eat. I’m don’t want to leave the house and go to the store either… besides the fact I blew all my money on Windstones anyway. 😳 I’m flat broke. *sigh*
I want… I want a honey barbeque steak with sour cream mashed red bliss potatoes… and home made butternut squash. *nods* That would be EXCELLENT right now. haha… I made myself smile typing that 🙂 hehehe
I think I’m just happy to have tomorrow off. I hope it’s a nice day out. I don’t want to go anywhere, but I’d like to just clean my truck out and give it a good washing. Maybe bring the ferret cage outside and give it a good hose off too. They’re getting stinky in the warm weather.
… I’m rambling again. I guess this is more like my temporary journal then a thread huh? 🙄 Sorry guys. You’ll forgive me right?
Got a busted Windstone?
drag0nfeathersdesign@gmail.com
*OPEN for repairs**SEEKING GRAILS*
Arc-en-ciel Emperor
Siphlophis Male Dragon
Calypso Hatching Empress
Ivory Moss Sitting Baby Kirin
Tattoo Mother Kirin
Emerald Tabby Male Griffin
Tie Dye + Orion Hatching Royalty
Indigo Rockfish + Flame Tabby Little Rock Dragons
Dragon Quail + Obsidian Frost Old Warriors
Betta Sun Dragon + Male Dragon
Dreamscape, Orion, Poison Dart, Fireberry, Spangler + Tigerberry Dragons
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