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[Lori]

eaglefeather831 wrote:

I know I am exaggerating this, but it is too often that I feel like my opinions and feelings do not matter to anyone. If they do matter, I am left in the dark about it because I often feel ignored.

Most people do not really want your/my/someone elses opinion(s), they usually are looking for validation of their own opinion or they simply need to talk/vent, get it out of their system. Kind of like you are now. 8)

But even with my family, it seems like what I find to be interesting is in fact dull and not worth responding too. I mean, a few weeks ago I saw pelicans for the first time, and I was really excited about it, but the people I was telling the story too just didn’t care. In fact, they didn’t even make eye contact with me, and they just said “oh.”

Yeah, I know what you mean. When I was 17, I had the opportunity to visit a whole new state. I said to one of my horse-buddy friends, “Wow, just think, I’m going to see new trees!” The look on her face was priceless. Her response, “Are you daft? What about all that new Trim?!” Which is what cute guys were called. Uh, obviously our minds were on two completely different things!

I knew I was different, but that moment really solidified it for me.

I find great pleasure in simple little things that others, in their busy lives, do not.

It just sucks so much because I live my life with the motto “treat others the way you’d like to be treated”. That way of living just comes naturally to me because I feel that everyone should feel important and loved.

And you have to be very careful with that.

Here’s the thing, I live by the Golden rule myself. I had to learn though, and it took years!, to not expect everyone to be as caring and responsive, supportive, interested, etc. as I was torwards them. It is who I am, not who they were/are.

When they have stuff to say, I listen intently and I respond in a way that makes them feel like what they experienced was as great as it made them feel. In fact, I take great interest in what others have to share.

And eventually, that becomes very emotionally draining for you. I am speaking from experience here. Not saying stop living by the Golden rule, just letting you know that it will not always be reciprocated as you would like it to be.

There is nothing wrong with you. Through your life, you WILL run into lots and lots of people/different personalities that you realize do not seem to care about you as much as you seem to care about them.

I don’t think I have one of those auras that some people have–you know, the auras that seem to attract friendly people and conversation their way.

You do not sound to me to be the type that wants to be on center stage. Usually these type of people have no problem being the center of attention, they actually thrive in those conditions.

I admire those type of people, but I do not wish to emulate them.

But I don’t understand those auras sometimes because I know someone who just talkes about herself all the time…literally, but for some reason she has tons of people who call her, want to be around her and help her with any little thing she has.

It’s not always what it seems. You have to wonder about the people that flock around someone who is centered only with themself.

I have many people I know that are like that, usually their life becomes a wreck because they have not been very selective with whom they are sharing this information with. Barrdwing used the example of filter and it’s very accurate.

Me on the other hand, if I need someone, they are never there.

Boy it sure seems like that some days huh? I feel like that myself sometimes. Then I step back and ask myself, who do I willingly share my life with? Is there anyone that I can ask for help when I need it?

Which is quite the joke if you knew me. I am very independent and as a result, capable of doing many things by myself and if I need help, I had to learn to ask for it. Which is probably one of the most difficult things for me to do, still to this day!

Hay man … I’m a work in progress. 😛 Some days I get it right, some days I fail miserably.

In fact, I don’t even normally draw attention to myself like this, but it has been on my mind for quite a while, and I have finally, hesitantly decided to share what I am feeling because I need you guys. I’m sorry for the rant. 😥

As I normally would not write such a long-winded, drawn out, personal post about myself on such an open forum.

But I felt really drawn to you, in your time of need. And I understand exactly where you are coming from as a result of my own experiences. 😛

There are more personalities out there like your own than you realize. And although we do tend to admire the one on center stage, we would never feel comfortable up there. We still have our own type of center stage. It is with a very small and with a very select crowd.

I hope this has helped.

P.S. I really liked working with the Pelicans, appropriately nicknamed Smellicans, because they stink like fish/rank saltwater baaaad! [holds her nose] I can definately understand and appreciate your excitment. When others wouldn’t care for them, because of , I adored tossing the fish to them, watering them, healing their wounds, etc. I experienced one that simply turned around when he was done being watered.

[Katherine]

Everyone’s caring replies mean so much to me. Hoofer, thank you for your response because I got so much out of it!! Purpledoggy-pterodactyls! That made me chuckle! 😀

As sad as these feelings can be, I am so glad you can all relate. It seems so overwhelming, and I often see others that get treated in a special way and I can’t help but think, “Why can’t that happen to me?” Ugh..then I have to step back and realize that I am being selfish. I guess it doesn’t help that I don’t get out as often as I used to. Being cooped up can do some things to your emotions.

[Stephanie]

eaglefeather831 wrote:

As sad as these feelings can be, I am so glad you can all relate. It seems so overwhelming, and I often see others that get treated in a special way and I can’t help but think, “Why can’t that happen to me?” Ugh..then I have to step back and realize that I am being selfish.

I do the exact same thing, so I can completely relate. I mean, for example, I’ve been teaching for two years, and haven’t gotten Teacher of the Month once! And, of course, I feel like I’m doing way more work than most everyone else (I ran two clubs last year), and doing a darn good job teaching at the same time. 😆 It’s nice to be appreciated, but I often need to step back and realize that maybe I should spend more time appreciating others, than wanting to be appreciated myself. I do lots of nice things ‘behind the scenes’, and I need to be happy with that. Knowing that /I/ did something good should be enough for me – I shouldn’t need public celebration. *shrug* Anyway, I can relate! (And I appreciate you!)

[Katherine]

I’ve had such a bad day. My muse’s beak broke off only an hour after I finished it and I’m having a hell of a time trying to put it together again. It’s so frustrating.

My husband told me that he feels like he is a competing between me and the baby. That makes me feel like a piece of crap. I asked him what he needed me to do and he says “nothing.” How can I help his feelings if he wont tell me what he needs from me? I thought we had a family, not a competition. 😥

[Pegasi1978]

*Hugs*

[Skigod377]

Im sorry Eagle. Its rough with a new baby, but do try to make time for the hubby, too. They are big babies when it comes down to it, and doing stuff for him will (should, anyway) ensure he reciprocates. It helps keep the marriage strong. I also agree with Hoofer about quality, not quantity. I think that folks like the ones on here have alot in common, but in the real world, you are few and far between. Most folks on line tend to stay on line. Maybe find a group with the same hobby or interest and then you guys can talk about something that everyone will be interested in. Kinda like we do here but IRL.

[Jamie]

From a 3/4 ghost, online and off, to you… *HUGS!!!*

[Katherine]

safyre_dream wrote:

From a 3/4 ghost, online and off, to you… *HUGS!!!*

I always love seeing you on here! It does brighten up my day when you poke your online face around here!

[Katherine]

skigod377 wrote:

Im sorry Eagle. Its rough with a new baby, but do try to make time for the hubby, too. They are big babies when it comes down to it, and doing stuff for him will (should, anyway) ensure he reciprocates. It helps keep the marriage strong. I also agree with Hoofer about quality, not quantity. I think that folks like the ones on here have alot in common, but in the real world, you are few and far between. Most folks on line tend to stay on line. Maybe find a group with the same hobby or interest and then you guys can talk about something that everyone will be interested in. Kinda like we do here but IRL.

It is hard, you are right. I do try to make time for him, but I should try harder. Thank you!

[DragonMistress]

That happens alot eagle, some men are just not used to sharing, and they can get very jealous of the baby. I have a friend who is like that, it took him some time to get used to it, but eventually got better. Maybe you can try and schedule a date night where someone can watch Chloe for a few hours and you too can go to dinner or a movie or something like that. {{HUGS}}

[Author]

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