I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to make a “whoosh” motion. I don’t exactly know how to do this stuff, so I refereed to my cartooning “How to” books. There were lots of examples of “sklishes” “whams”, and “smashes” but no whooshes.
The Veligent – page 51
Wings! Cool! Didn’t see that coming.
Well….completely did NOT see that coming at all and…BRILLIANT! 🙂 Of course they have wings…DUH Brandy…so many things in the Reptanglian Word have wings so why not Kade!! 🙂 And the Whoosh was pulled of brilliantly and comes across loud and clear with what you are trying to impart to the reader!
The whoosh came across perfectly.
I certainly didn’t see this coming – though from the way Kade’s wording was done on the previous page, I figured he lost his balance on purpose 🙂
Wings? Really? It seems as if the story has just lost half its point, especially since we have spent several months watching Kade and Serence slog their way through 50 pages on foot or on horseback. They both seem much less heroic to me if they have wings and can escape trouble that way.
Of course it is Melody’s story and she can write it the way she wants, but I feel like the P.G. Wodehouse character who, while not precisely disgruntled, was far from being gruntled.
Okay, question, how come those huge wings weren’t in evidence before? He hasn’t always had that cloak on…now I have to go back & look through. Arggh!
The wings get put away when not in use.
An example of how this world works: Ayonah can do anything of course, but why do anything? What is the point of creating a land if people don’t travel on it? Why create time if you could, say, heal someone instantly and not use it?
Another name for horses is “land wings”. They are used on land. Bird wings are for use in the air when a horse won’t do. Kade wanted to bring the horses but Serence vetoed that idea.
Horses are used on land, wings are used in the air.
The wings play a very small part in this story. They get characters out of trouble about as much as a fast car gets a teenager out of trouble.
-And the other excuse is: I wrote this when I was fourteen.
Do all the Reptangle people have wings, or only the royalty?
They all do, though the royals do have some abilities that the commoners don’t. Nothing too fancy.
And there I was scared for his life! 😀
Oh, you can still be!
I keep forgetting that this whole “Veligent” section may read differently as a part of the larger Reptangle narrative. If wings were introduced earlier in the Reptangle story, then Kade obviously is goofing around here (again!).
I just re-examined the big party scene and I still don’t see any winged humanoids cavorting in the sky. If we had read the earlier section, would we know that the wings are not to be used for frivolous purposes? In that case, Kade is tempting fate (again!) and our response should be horrified fascination as we wait for retribution to strike. Or maybe just want to throttle the little twerp – which probably is what Serence is feeling. 🙂
Thank you for sharing these with us. I delight in your unique storytelling and beautiful art. You’re letting us read these for free, so it’s a real treat to those of us that don’t have the budget to buy bound books! I don’t care if your characters had twenty heads and could control the future, it’s your world and we are lucky to have a look inside!
Yes, exactly. I knew the wings would seem jarring to the story line, but I needed to leave some things like this out of the earlier part( like the fact that the revelers would certainly be frolicking around in the air with the inexplicable air carp) because it didn’t make sense at the time, would be confusing, and would take away from the punch of this scene.
I needed to leave lots of Reptanglian details out of this story to streamline it. I didn’t want to be bogged down with trying to explain things that don’t serve an important purpose in this plot line. I think that it is better for it.
Experimenting with how much you can leave out is a very interesting writing exercise! -Although I may go over the line once in awhile and leave folks scratching their heads….
By the way, I thoroughly enjoy and NEED your critique! Thank you so much!
Oh, okay, I wondered. Very cool though, & the impression that he fell on purpose was very well brought across as well btw!
-and I’m getting free editing, proof reading and spell checking! This is great!
Really Cool!
I’m just really looking at this page, and reading all the comments associated with it….I hadn’t read the comments before…
Melody, I have a character that I created when I was 9 or so, who was humanoid and could change shapes at will to any animal or critter… and that character also could produce wings when needed or wanted and ‘put them away’ when not in use – they just sort of disappeared until needed/wanted again. So, I TOTALLY Get This! 😀
Yep, you used the same criteria I did: decide what you want to be able to do and have your character able to do it!
Problem with having a character that can do too many things though,is there has to be limits on their abilities or they won’t have enough trouble overcoming obstacles, hence, no story.
Yep, thought of that too…
My character is bound by the ultimate law that they cannot interfere directly with the lives or the free will of others. My character also cannot interfere by changing events or time – past, present or future. *Suggestions* to the right person/being is allowed to help, but those *suggestions* must be subtle enough so that free will is not compromised. Another stipulation is that others cannot find out that my character has any special abilities whatsoever; other than the normal Human’s – so no flashy powers or wings/flying in the presence of regular people. 🙂