New Job Woes

Ah, if the general “feel” is characterless, it’s a tough one. That was the case at my previous workplace, particularly in my department.

One of the girls went on mat leave and I clicked with her replacement. I worked there for over a year and to this day, she’s the only one I stayed in contact with after I left. Sad, huh?

But that’s the only way – find the 1 or 2 people that you get along with and go from there. So what if the rest is morose? As long as you get that one person with whom you can at least identify, talk to, or whatever, it’ll help.

Maybe it is because you’re new… some groups are just not as open to newcomers for some odd reason, so time is the only remedy.

Hugs!!!

Maybe they’ll warm up to you over time? It could be they’re cautious because you’re the “newbie” and they can’t figure you out so easily. Maybe sit back and listen to the conversations, if there are any, then chime in when they say something you can relate with. Like if they start complaining about a husband, boyfriend, kids, bad movies, pay, etc., chime in with a similar complaint about your situation and how you can relate to them. People are self absorbed these days and they love to complain (tis my opinion) so if you can make it seem like you “care” about their situation, maybe they’ll start being more receptive to you later. I don’t know if it’ll help, but it’s worth a shot. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. At least you can say you tried more than they did.

Could top management be the source of the poo-poo attitudes everyone has? Also, for the most part, there’s always going to be that “one” person that’s a jerk to work with, no matter where you go. If you just can’t stand it, see of you can find another job.

Maybe take a look back. Can you think back to your early years at Home Depot? How did you go about making friends when you first started? What kind of conversations did you have with other people? See if you can remember something that will help with your current situation.

I had a job that made me feel the exact same way! My supervisor seemed to get annoyed with having a newb and on two different occasions he flipped out on me for asking how something should be done. That absolutely terrified me, I was scared to do anything because I may be doing it wrong and he may come around and yell at me again (I mean actual yelling and name calling)! As soon as someone would say “go ask Marc” I got a nauseous feeling and wanted to hide in a corner and cry. All the other employees seemed to be organized in cliques and I found myself off in dark corners of the store alone most of the time. Not long after I started they hired a new guy and immediately he came and sat by ME! Every free minute that we had we would go find each other. For the first month of two I was petrified of having to go to work, but once I made a friend suddenly I found myself talking to more of my coworkers (maybe since I already had a friend I didn’t give a rat’s butt if they liked me or not) and eventually I became friends with most of the people on my shift.
I think if you find just one person, another newb or just one friendly face, suddenly the whole place will be a lot more tolerable. Until then…you have us! 🙂 ((HUG))

Man, reading that I feel your pain and awkwardness. It’s hart to meet new friends and break into new groups especially when you were around other co-workers and friends for several years. I kind of felt like that in high school when all my friends from elementary ditched me over some drama one girl created and I didn’t have a group to sit with at lunch anymore. I would go into the bathroom or walk around school alone and awkward. I tried making new friends and sat with other groups at lunch but didn’t fit into any of them so kind of became a loner. I ended up leaving that school and going to another after not succeeding for two years. I started developing more social anxiety I think after high school. Even now in work and church situations I feel like that sometimes as well. I tend to stick to myself unless I meet someone I think is really nice and genuine and worth befriending. I don’t try super hard to be friends with everyone though as it takes all the energy out of me. Sometimes you will unfortunately end up in situations with a bunch of other introverted or unsocial people but that may be because they feel the same as you. Sometimes it is worth putting yourself out there a little at a time and trying to talk to the others to see if they appreciate you making the first effort. If they don’t make the effort back though, at least you tried. If nothing works you don’t have to be friends with all of them. You could focus more on customers and meeting new people like that. If it doesn’t improve it may be worth it to check out other locations to find people you may get along with better. If not I would say maybe try joining some social groups where you live to meet people with common interests. Meetup.com is pretty popular here with lots of different groups you can join to meet like minded people. Hope things get better!

Maybe I’m just being paranoid.

Just because you’re paranoid it doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.

But mostly though I feel miserable, since I can’t seem to do my job effectively. No one listens to me or takes my position seriously, and as noted I have one coworker who keeps deciding my job is easier and more “fun” to do than her own, so often I have to fight just to get work done.

Sorry to hear that. I know what that is like as well. It sucks not to be taken seriously.