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Titles?

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  • #505182
    twindragonsmum
    Participant

      I always have problems coming up with titles for what I’ve written… Some help please? Assignment was using non-sencical forms of poetry write a piece that evokes an emmotional state. In other words, don’t just rhyme for no reason, make it expressive emmotionally. Here’s my effort.

      I gave you a kiss
      You gave me the stars
      on a side trip out somewhere
      past Mars.

      Where the sky was all red,
      lots of dust up ahead
      and we kept all our dreams in
      big jars.

      But, who knew that you’d do
      the thing that you did that
      put us on paths full of fears?

      Now the dreams are all gone
      they’ve fled with the dawn
      and the stars are just echoes
      of tears.

      tdm

      #877271
      Adaneth
      Participant

        Nice work on that poem! I prefer simple titles and I think ‘Dust’ might work nicely, because it evokes both the red dust of Mars and the ‘ashes to ashes dust to dust’ phrase, which is what becomes of those bright dreams at the beginning of the poem.

        My two cents, anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

        #877279
        twindragonsmum
        Participant

          thankies Adaneth! I think it suits nicely

          twindragonsmum ๐Ÿ™‚

          tdm

          #877286

          Very Eloquent Poem TDM. Certainly expresses where you are at emotionally and shows your dismay and frusteration/fear!

          #877299
          twindragonsmum
          Participant

            Thankies Branzy! I like to write, I just have difficulty sharing it… any tips are helpful and one day I hope to be published like several other folk here on the forums ๐Ÿ™‚

            twindragonsmum

            tdm

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