Feeling back on track again (positive but long post).

Well it’s been a long time coming but I’m starting to feel as though I’m getting back on the right path. For a bit of background information, I quit my office job three years ago to move house with my parents when they retired from work (best thing I ever did, I hated the area I grew up in). The job was taking its toll on my health anyway and I suffered with major exhaustion as I was working 38 hours+ a week when I also live with chronic fatigue syndrome and pain from scoliosis. Anyway, was feeling really good after the move despite all that.. better area, nicer house… I also met a guy online who turned into my boyfriend but he suddenly and unexpectedly broke up with me in May last year, after we’d known eachother for two years, and it took me a long time to recover from the heart break.

A week ago I went to a small village in the New Forest. There’s a shop there called “A Coven of Witches” which I like to visit. Inside there this time was a lady doing tarot readings and I decided to have one. She’s also a medium/clairvoyant and she gave me some very sage advice along with the knowledge that my maternal gran has been watching over me and offering protection when I’ve needed it growing up. She helped me with trying to work out what to do with my life as I’ve just been in a state of heart break for a year with nothing really planned for my future. She said that I’m quite in tune already with my healing abilities so if that area interests me (which it does), to go in that direction. Because I’m a sensitive person, I’m probably best suited to working with something like crystals and herbs.

I had always planned to further my education but in the three years since I left my job and moved, I’ve never found anything right for me. I still have anxiety over the thought of having to go to a school or college with other people… to me, those places have negative associations so I don’t think I can possibly learn in one and be entirely comfortable with being there. But this lady recommended a long-distance online school that’s specialised in the teaching of holistic therapies for the past 14 years. She’s in the process of doing a course herself. The best part is that you can learn at your own pace – absolutely no deadlines except when you request an exam paper. I’ve always been better at self-study and taking in what’s written down in front of me rather then having it explained to me in a classroom, so the course is perfect for me. The diplomas are fully accredited and I am able to get insurance if I wish to practice in anything in the future as a profession.

I’m starting out with the Philosophy and Anatomy & Physiology courses as those give me a good base for anything. (The school actually gives their Philosophy course out to physical colleges around the country that require it.) Then I’m moving onto Crystal Healing and Herbalism. I bought a package that was on special offer where I get over 50% off the standard prices if I buy 4 courses in advance. If all goes to plan, I’d like to add Acupressure to that list as I’m very interested in the Chinese Meridian system. In order to complete that diploma I require volunteers and their feedback on my treatment so I’m looking forward to that once I’ve learnt to develop my healing skills a bit further. 🙂

But really for the first time in a long time I’ve felt as though I’m back on the wheel and not stagnating. It’s almost as though I’ve been trying hard to push past first gear but now that I’ve built up some momentum, I can get going a bit faster. I’m being careful not to tire myself out too much as I still feel like I have low energy but at the same time I’m quite enthusiastic about studying so it gives me something to progress with and build up from. Hopefully my overall confidence will improve too.. I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% anxiety free but the long-term goal would be to learn to deal with anxious situations better.

Just wanted to post something positive and happy I guess. 🙂