A tough time which got worse (p.3)

Like I mentioned briefly in the New Years thread, my holidays were probably the worst I ever had. Ready for a novel?

On the 25th, we were at my in-laws, due to go to my brother’s on the 28th, where my mom would meet us. On the 26th, I gave my mom a call for a trivial reason and she tells me she won’t be coming to my brother’s since my dad is sick and is coming back from Nepal early.

My dad was volunteering for 3 months at an orphanage in Nepal (I’ll spare you all the details leading to this trip – what’s important was that he was doing great there, enjoying working with the children, doing repairs around the orphanage, etc.). My father is NEVER sick. The last time was 27 years ago; he had pneumonia and was apparently a pain in the butt (I vaguely remember that – he certainly didn’t go to the hospital or anything). We weren’t sure what he had; it sounded like a cold gone very bad.

Then my mom called to give me the arrival date for my dad: on the 30th, with a plane change in Montreal to go to Toronto. Since he had a 3-hour wait in Montréal, my mom figured I could go and pick him up. Since my brother is in Ottawa (close to Montréal), my mom decided to come and go with me to the airport. Perfect, I thought. My mom was coming down, we were to meet at my brother’s on the 29th instead of the 28th, no prob.

When we got at my brother’s on the 29th, we found out that my dad wasn’t coming after all; one of the head persons at the orphanage called my brother, saying he was very, very worried about my dad and that he didn’t think my father could travel alone; he was very disoriented, couldn’t remember where he was, etc. This was mere hours before his scheduled departure, so my mom, my brother and his wife had to make the decision as to what do – remember the time difference is almost 12 hours, so they had to do all this during the night, while I was blissfully asleep. They called the insurance and within 2 hours, they had put him in a clinic, where they gave him a regimen of antibiotics. TThe final diagnostic was delirium with an inner and middle ear infection, with the beginning of pneumonia. Whatever meds they gave him at the orphanage for the infection were apparently the wrong ones for my dad (who, if he has any reactions to meds, doesn’t know it, since he’s never sick), so the mix of ear infection and the meds probably triggered the delirium. My mom was a wreck because when she spoke to him, he sounded like a small child, saying “You know, I think I’ll come home early.”

So we had sleepless nights until basically the 1st. The insurance doctor wanted to speak with the clinic doctor, since according to him, some elements were missing for the report sent – report that would enable the insurance to give the ok to send a nurse to accompany my dad back to Canada, as he couldn’t possibly travel alone. When the insurance called the clinic there was no answer, then my bro calls and they answer, you know, stuff like that. All within midnight and 6 am, of course.

Finally, the insurance gave the okay for the repatriation, but since my dad was getting better, they didn’t need to send an actual nurse, just someone, so they gave us the option to send a family member. My sister-in-law went – she had her passport, her immunization and even spare pics for the visas, so off she went at 7 am on January 1st. They will be back at 7-8 pm on Monday night at my parents’ in Dundas (close to Toronto).

The hardest part in all this was seeing my mom going to pieces. My parents are barely 60, so dealing with the delirium was/is very, very hard. He’d forget that we called. We weren’t even sure that he’d remember that my sister-in-law was coming. But I have to say that when I last spoke with him on the 2nd, he sounded better and boy was he ready to go home – no possible way his memory was faulty on that one!

He is safe; they’re on their way to Hong Kong as I write this. The infection is clearing nicely, so I think in a few days, that’ll be fine. But the memory problems are still there and he knows it. I think my mom is very scared that he won’t come back to his prior state-of-mind – we all fear it.

Next week, I’ll be spending time with him while my mom’s at work. I didn’t post it here, but on November 17, I lost my job. At this point, I’m glad in a way to be jobless, as it allows me to be available for my parents. I have a calming effect on my dad – for some reason, he listens to me.

So yeah, I still tear up whenever I think of my dad in this room in a Nepalese clinic, with no real familiar face around (though the doctors were top notch), wondering where he is and what’s wrong with him and whenever I think of my mom breaking down in tears.

What a week, man!

If he does, it won’t be this year.

No, and we may never know. Once he’s recovered enough of his memory, he might be able to track it down, but that’s not a sure thing. My sister-in-law says that the air over there can contain a lot of dust, so maybe just the wrong particle got into his ear and caused all this.

Thank you everyone for your support.