a strange look back

i wrote this about a month after TX. I just recently put it on Myspace and on my CF boards . Its a cryptic reliving of before durring and after TX , hope you like it

Fall

I violently fall to earth , my bosom clenched as my wings faultier and begin to fail . The image of never flying again permeates my mind like the swords of a bull fighter in the beasts flesh .The fear envelops me in darkness my only friends are yellow sprites that float about . The gentle touch and caress of the caretaker puts my mind at ease. The shaking and convulsing begins , …i cant stand ….my thoughts are jumbled . The mosaic that was once my mind begins to betray me , my lifes blood begins to become stagnate.All goes dark , i am asleep but do not dream . The Shaman cuts and begins the ritual to remove the demon that caused my wings to falter and my dissent to earth . Breath fills me , as strange creatures speak in automated tongues i do not understand. Golden strands pierce my flesh allowing the knowledge of time to enter my body and continue the mending . I begin to speak but all i hear is hello then all goes silent again . Menageries of pictures flash about me as if they are dreams , but they could be real all is still in a muddled haze , as if some one has turned on a strobe and i witnessed my life through a kaleidoscope.

My legs are so heavy and i shiver , Still the automated tongue speaks to me as i try to regain movement . The serpent that one resided under my nose has retreated to its home.The steps are painful and heavy , like the scortching sands of a great desert are around my feet , i fear falling when once more it all goes black . Voices are in echo my life returns to the kaleidoscope. Dragons and other creatures visit me in my cell . No harm comes from them only a bit of interaction and visits that i look forward to. I fear leaving my cell , will i fall again , will i enter the kaleidoscopes restrictive grasp . I must over come my fears but the convulsions return , the violent shaking from the demons have more strength than i can exhume … I am tired and weak i must rest.

Soon i am forced up again to learn how to fly. All over again pain sears though my body , the demons return and try to force me back down in the sands , into the realm of the kaleidoscope . Breaking free i stretch the wings as far as they will go … i fly again slowly and short distances, but again i can feel the blood pulse through them . The short and subtle flights get longer by the day, the demons interrupt me once in a while but the Shamans take care of them through a daily swallowing ritual . The golden strands can teach me no more and leave my flesh rittled with holes that soon become scars that i wear as throphies.

At last i am free , the demons have little hold and my wings , no longer do i need support. The automated tongues cease to exist . I feel the wind and smell the air , the care taker takes me home . No longer do the bright yellow sprites visit me .