the hearing

Well, the hearing is over. whew. My mother got up in front of the judge and acted like a ranting idiot. Jess never has to be around or see our mother again, thank goodness, but there’s nothing we can do for Travis. The only way to get him out is for him to say he wants to leave, and I know from experience that it’s safer to run away than to tell the legal system you want out. Because they first want to “discuss” it with the parent, and you may not get out for several days, and in the meantime…. His only real option is to run away, the same as me and Jess. Sad, that in our case, the kids are left to fend for themselves, and our mother never gets punished for the heinous things she’s done. The lawyer and judge would be able to do more if Jess and I had taken pics of what had been done to us, but in your mind, it’s humiliating enough to HAVE the bruises, much less take pictures so everyone else can be sure to see and remember.

It helps to know that the judge thought our mother was ridiculous, because she tried to shut her up several times. My mother was standing there, yelping about how, “This is the thanks she gets, she deserves to be punished, put that brat in juvie, ungrateful little whore…”….then, to everyone’s utter surprise and shock, she pulls out a lacy nightie, and yells “THIS is what that little dirty WHORE has been doing in MY HOUSE!!!!”. Odd thing was, Jess is a really slight and petite figure, and the nightie that was pulled out was waaaay to big to even possibly LOOK like it would fit her. Not to mention the fact that owning a nightie is not evidence of having sex, or doing anything dirty. The judge looked like the exasperated ringmaster of a three ring circus. Even though it was obvious that thing couldnt have belonged to her, Jess was horrified nonetheless. I wouldnt put it past our mother to have bought it just for the hearing. Her main purpose was to strike out, hurt, and humiliate.

I stayed for a while after the hearing and made dinner before heading home. I made my renowned “pizza soup” which is much better tasting than it sounds. Jess cried some, cause she of course was worried someone might be foolish enough to believe the trash our mother was spouting. I told her that if they were stupid enough to believe her, they’re not the kind of people Jess wants around anyway, cause they’d be idiots.

I hadnt seen our mother in six years, I had thought five, but when i did the counting, I realized it had been that long. She was a skeleton, with long ratty brown hair and shoddy clothes. I could see the bones in her arm, and a small part of myself felt disgust and the teeniest amount of pity for what she’s done to herself. She’s not that old, but the wrinkles and frown lines were deep. I did the math. She’s only 44, but she looks in her 80s. I think that shriveled mass of a woman must be powered purely on hate. I’ve always dealt with a certain amount of shame that I came from that sort of beginnings. People like my mother shouldnt ever have kids, they dont deserve them. I hope I never see her again, but if I’m ever needed to go to court again to thwart her, I’ll be there. Maybe someday there will be justice for the children she’s hurt.

Thanks so much for all the hugs and support. It means alot that she never has to go back, when i ran away, I DID get sent back, and things were worse than ever, but my father didnt want me, Jess’s father was in her corner, fighting for her all the way. And that is awesome!!! I wish acting like an idiot was enough to help get travis out of there, but unfortunately, legally, being an idiot isnt reason enough to remove a kid from its mother.

Jess and Travis are both Jeff’s kids, and he loves them both dearly, my dad was a one-night-stand gone bad. 🙄 Jeff is ready to do whatever it takes when Travis is ready, but until he makes an effort to leave, Jeff’s hands are legally tied. 😕