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My brother is getting married in May and they are having a rehearsal dinner. I’m not in the wedding so I know I’m not invited but my mom keeps calling me asking if I’m going to go. I told her the rehearsal dinner is for those who are in the wedding and since I’m not its not right for me to go. She then tells me “well I’m paying for it so your invited”. This pissed me off for two reasons 1) its not her call even if she is paying for it and 2) she refused to pay anything towards my wedding and refused to go to my rehearsal and diner. I called my brother up and told him what she was doing and that I don’t expect to be invited since I’m not in the wedding. My mom is trying to tell me that family is invited to the rehearsal dinner (I know she is going to invite her parents and other relatives because everything has to be about her). I was always told that only parents of the bride and groom and those in the wedding are invited to rehearsal dinners.
Usually out of town guests and members of the wedding party are invited to rehersal dinners. You’re mother is actually the one who is supposed to send out invitations to the rehearsal dinner since it is typically paid for by the parents of the groom so she’s not wrong to ask if you are going.
Usually the wedding party and out of town guests are invited.
This is a great site (that made me laugh) that has to deal with a lot of wedding etiquette:I think it’s ultimately up to the bride and groom as to who attends their rehearsal dinner. At my rehearsal dinner we had everyone there, mostly so people could mingle and meet before the ceremony the next day.
From what you have told us about your mom I would tell her that since she obviously does not care about you really or your well being (IE trying to have your baby shower in her garage) that you no longer need her or her problems in your life and that IF you EVEN show up at the actual wedding they will be lucky. I have always heard that if the groom has sisters they are usually asked to be brides maids out of respect and if you brother and his soon to be wife disrespected you but not asking you have no obligation to them!
You are family. If you’re invited, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to go. I wouldn’t give it another thought. 😉
I don’t care that I’m not in the wedding. Back when I had mine (almost 10 years ago) I didn’t have him in mine. I was 17 when I planned my wedding and didn’t even think to have him in it. The whole thing was pretty much planned by my in-laws and I just wanted to get married so I didn’t care. To tell you the truth I don’t think my mom would have let him be in my wedding seeing how she wasn’t even going to go herself. I found out from her friends at work that they had to talk her in to going because she was dead set against being there.
I’m more of a non-traditional person. 🙂 Talk to your brother and his fiancee. If he wants you to come and you want to go, then go. Don’t worry about what your mom does.
And leave the past behind. Keeping past hurts around you, only bring you down. Your mother is too superficial to ever understand, so don’t worry about she wants or doesn’t want. You do what you feel is right for you, whether it’s traditional or not. 🙂
Quick! Click us!I’m sure your brother would love to have you regardless and if your Mom is paying for it, all the better. 😈
The last time my brother and I where at a restaurant and mom offered to pay we both got the most expensive thing on the menu 😈
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