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So I started to notice when Alyssa falls asleep she always smiles in her dreams. Her doctor calls them “angel smiles” and says she should start to smile while she is awake soon. The other day I was holding her (because she will NOT let me put her down) and she was dozing off and gave me the biggest gummy smile I have ever seen! OMG I started to cry because it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait till she starts to smile while she is awake so I know she actually likes me lol. Danny says she must be dreaming about boobies when she starts to smile in her sleep because thats all she knows lol.
LOL thats funny. Babies are adorable, its a fact. Are you crying all the time? I did. I still do. Hormones never went back to normal.
I used to never get emotional until now. I don’t think my hormones are back to normal either. I’m a little concerned it will affect my job though. I’ve found myself thinking about every dead infant call I’ve had in my career. At the time it didn’t bother me since I was able to distance myself from it. Now that I have a child I cant get over the fact that people can do such horrible things to little babies. I hope my hormones go back to normal because I know I will have more calls like that in the future.
Just to warn you, mine never went back. Now every crime/tragedy I hear against a child is just so much worse because I have one. I get very emotional every month.
Yeah my husband has banned me from watching the news. Right after I had Alyssa some guy thru his 3 year old off the Key Bridge. I’m still upset about it.
Cymbalta REALLY helps! Benn there, done that, took everything there was, none of it helped, almost killed my twins and was told I would just have to live with it. Now there is Cymbalta. Originally developed for long term pain control; side effect? anti-depressent with no nasty side effects; and I should know…. if there’s a weird side effect to any med, I get it….. 🙄 Good luck! There is help, keep taking to your doctor.
twindragonsmum 😀
tdm
Yes, like literally….. no one tells you that post partum after multiples is really real and really dangerous. Poor Sean had colic and had been screaming for nearly 48 hours straight, we couldn’t get the boys on the same schedule and I hadn’t slept at all for nearly 78 hours. I nearly smothered Sean with the bed pillow. I finally kicked my husband awake and said “you take him and you take him NOW or you will have a dead baby, dead wife and get to raise the survivor by yourself!” Next morning we (Sunday) our doctor saw us got me on stuff for post partum and meds for Sean for colic and counciling for me because of how guilty I felt about what I’d almost done. Luckily we had a VERY understanding doctor….. and I felt SO TERRIBLE because we had worked hard for 10 years to get these babies here and I nearly ‘offed’ us all. 😥
twindragonsmum
tdm
I remember being very depressed but lucky for me, it never came to that. I am so glad you got help. Depression is not fun.
That’s awesome you are so honest about it!
While I never thought about killing a child, I did want to walk away! If I hadn’t had a husband, I would have put them up for adoption. Would have been a big mistake too! I just taught my son to ride a bike this weekend. How cool is that?!
For me, it definately gets better as they get older!I’ll be a stellar grandma though! Spoil them and give them back! 😆
At first it was something I refused to talk about but I finally came to the conclusion that if I could talk about it openly and honestly, I might be able to help prevent some other new mom from doing the unthinkable. I don’t know if I’ve helped anyone to this day, but I will never not talk about it just in case it helps someone else 🙂 I love my twinners with all my heart and soul and wouldn’t trade them for the world, but holy cow that first 3 weeks was literally hell. The reward of course, comes when you tuck ’em in at night. Last night I got a big hug from Ethan who held on good and tight for a long while then said “I’m glad I chose you for my mom. The other kids at school wish you were their mum.” *Sniff….*
twindragonsmum 😀
tdm
Oh purpledoggy, of course Alyssa likes you; heck, she loves you unconditionally. You’re her mother. As she gets older she’ll be able to love you for the good person that you are, but right now she loves you like an infant does, without any boundary or exception. That is one of the most powerful bonds in the world. 🙂
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