just wondering.

Are you ok?

Though question. Some people make a lot over nothing, and vice-versa.

Are you happy? Well, it depends of your definition. Are you satisfied with your life? Is there something more you want to do? For me, I have this feeling I could do more (and I know what it is), so I’m striving for it. Whether or not I succeed isn’t important; it’s knowing that I did everything I could. Am I unhappy? No. Could I feel more accomplished? Yes.

Am I helping at all?

Perhaps the metaphor of a broken compass is significant. What has your aim in life been until now? Does it still apply? Perhaps a part of you is unhappy, and wants to realign your goals in a different direction, but doesn’t know how to say this to the rest of your conscious mind. So it uses images, and triggers spates of thought that leave you asking questions that may feel disruptive or even illogical. It’s trying to get your attention.

I’m annoyed to think that your husband might object to your doing something that you enjoy–like singing for an audience–just because he doesn’t want you away from him for a night. The drive to express oneself artistically can be very strong, and it’s perfectly valid. For a person who has a strong artistic talent, it’s as important to find outlets for that talent as it is to eat, or breathe. Does your husband understand this? Or rather, does he understand how important your singing is to you? Explain it to him. He needs to realize that he is causing you pain by seeming to resent your going out to perform. And maybe his expression comes from a very different source, such as “I hope she isn’t driving herself too hard,” or “I’ve never been comfortable with her singing at that establishment; I don’t think it’s a safe place.” It’s worth sitting down with him and talking this over. If nothing else, being able to express yourself in your art may help the part of you that’s unhappy to find a way to tell you what is bothering it.

I hope that you’re feeling better soon!

“It’s all in your head” is a popular refrain, but the flip side of that coin is that these thoughts and feelings are in your head where you can’t get away from them, and they’re bugging you. There is something going on that a part of you wants to work out. We don’t know what it is yet, but it’s strong enough that it’s causing you to feel dissatisfied. And it’s a valid thing that should be identified and addressed. Denying it will not help.

I sometimes think that men get really frustrated with women because we can be moody and distressed, and want to talk about things. I know that when I’m under pressure and feeling irritable or depressed or fretful, my husband gets upset too because he wants to help but doesn’t know what to do, and seeing me unhappy drives him bananas. We are both learning how to communicate better: I remember to tell him that I’m not upset with him, and he tries to remember that until I’ve decided what is bothering me, I’m going to be kind of difficult to live with. He just wants to get the problem fixed, but when it’s my problem, he has to let me figure out what I need to do to fix that problem.

Perhaps not a psychiatrist just yet, but finding a counselor instead would be helpful. Somebody with whom you can talk things out; someone who is trained to help find the problem or concern hiding below the surface and coax it out so that it can be dealt with. Talking to a counselor helped me a lot a couple of years ago, and also helped me find a solution to the problem that was causing me so much trouble. I would suggest looking into finding a counselor. Choose one with whom you feel comfortable–sort of like you feel with a friend that you can tell just about anything to–then go in there and just talk.

I hope this helps!

I just read all this and had an insight… Did you ever feel like this before the baby was born?

If not, then I think you’re feeling guilty because you’re out singing instead of home with the baby. Don’t feel guilty. You have a passion and it’s not going to go away. Don’t give up your passion because of your son; in the end, it might give way to resentment.

I live with the philosophy that my daughter is part of my life, but she’s not my entire life. I love my books and my dragons. Now she’s old enough to understand that and to want to participate in it too.

Your little one will be so proud of you when he’s old enough to understand what your art is! And your husband is fine alone with the baby. Enjoy your time singing!

I wanted to commment on here but really couldn’t think of anything better to add then has already been said. Just know that we are here for each other and sharing does help. I have a hard time telling everything that is going on my life to anybody…my friends or this forum. And I’ve found that bottling it up tends to be a bit unhealthy. So by sharing some of it I let others into what is going on and I feel connected to people. I may never become an extrovert person but I’m trying to be more open in who I am. I respect everyone on this forum a lot and we all seem to care about each other which is why this is such a great community right now. We have all gone through various things in our life that we will never mention on here but what we do mention we feel certain that others will share good advice or support. At least that is the feeling I’ve gotten from being on this forum….and I’m going to quit rambling on now…think I’m overdue on some sleep.

I guess in my meandering way I’m agreeing that sharing does help. 😳

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