In need of a little help, patient eyes

MY first thoughts are, it is never too late as long as you are willing to try.

Second, regardless of whether you think you need it still or not, you need to see a counselor or therapist, together and separately.

Your emotional problems aren’t going to go away by changing your partner, environment, or financial situation. They will still be there, and since those are the heart of a good portion of the issues at hand, I think you need to work towards finding a therapist you trust who can help you deal with them.

Your husband is at a loss, he doesn’t know what to do to help you, so he vacilitates. Which just makes you feel more isolated and alone, but the thing is, he isn’t a therapist. He can love and support you, but he can’t help you figure out the whys behind what is going on with you emotionally, a good therapist can, and will also help you learn how to cope.

I know there are several very good therapists where you are, I would talk to a suicide line and get the numbers of the ones most recommended by those folks, after talking to them a bit about how you are feeling right now. They should be able to help you find a way to cope with things long enough to get to professional help.

If you must sell your baubles, sell them for a good cause, to fund your therapy so you can be a happier healthier you. But if you can avoid it, save that as a last resort, because they are a therapy all their own.

I’m sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch, I hope you can find a way to work through it, either together as a couple, or separately, whichever is the best thing for you. You can rebuild your relationship, but it wil take time, there is no overnight fix, but if the two of you really want it, then it is possible, so don’t give up on it just yet.

In closing, I just want to let you know you can write me privately, or even call me on the phone if you need to, I will send you my # in a PM. You’re not alone, and you will get through this, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. *hugs*

Kyrin

Jamie, you’re not the only one that feels like this. There was a time in my life that I had no self-worth and saw no reason to be alive. Several years later, I’m still here. 🙂 And last year I discovered a father I didn’t know I had and found two sisters that I never thought I’d ever find (we’d been separated for nearly 30 years). So, there are things in the future that you can’t miss. You just have to take it one step at a time.

Kyrin has lots of good advice. The only thing I might add is to check with your doctor/gynecologist to check your hormone levels. Most of my worst crying times were hormone related.

As for your guy, I’m sure he wishes he could help. Most guys don’t think emotionally like we do, so he’s probably at a loss as how to help. Like Kryin said, find a professional to talk to, even if by the time you get to see them, you ‘feel fine’. You need an outside perspective to help you see what the problems might be and help you find solutions.

*hugs*

HAND IN THERE! In time things will work out. No matter HOW you feel at the moment, find help. Your life is wonderful, loving, and one of a kind…

Kyrin brings up several good points.

YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS! If you have made it this far you CAN go futher! I have faith.

My life wasn’t perfect…
When I was 4 months pregenet my husband cheated on me with a so called friend… I didn’t want to accept it even though all the signs were there…

6 weeks before the due date he tells me that we are getting a divorce… *HOLY CRAP! I am about to be a single mother of two, one a new born and I haven’t worked in a FEW years, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?*

I call that so called friend up and she comes over while I talk to the soon to be ex husband… after “being there” she leaves, when she left I ask her when she comes back to please bring me a gallon of Milk… I give her the money for it… LATER her husband comes over with the milk stateing that she is in the bath tub crying saying that SHE can’t deal with it… guilt maybe?

I had our second daughter and he is happy go lucky… I pull everything out of him a week after her birth. Outside he says loudly *Loud enough the neighbors go inside* “AND YES, I do NOT love you any more!” 🙁 ( I wrote a poem about that moment in my life, I might post it someday)….

That next night I go into the hospital with high blood pressure 221/170 *YES I am still here to talk about it* I had high blood pressure for at least 3 months after that.

We divoeced 2 years after that… I lived on my own with my girls for 4 years, working a crappy job with crappy pay… but I made it.

My mother passed away this year… 🙁 I watched her fade away in so many ways before she passed. 🙁 That in itself is hard, but I deal with it and keep going.

Head up! Chin up! 🙂

*GREAT BIG HUGS SENT YOUR WAY*

I agree, counseling is a good idea. Also, a failed marriage can make anyone feel like a failure and nothing we tell you will make that feeling go away. I have been thru a divorce after a 2 year marriage, so I know. All I can say is that if you are not happy, its time to move on. Maybe then you can concentrate on the feelings for your mother. The holidays make things even harder. I hope you have someone there who you can talk to… if not, call the hotline as stated above. They are trained to listen. We are all here to help.. if you want to talk or want advice, feel free to ask.

Good point dragonmelody,

it does take two. It kinda sounds like you are wanting to carry all the weight on your shoulders and you can’t. Believe me I tried… it doesn’t work.

Ski brings up another good point… the Hoildays do make things harder… I use to love the Holidays then the divorce… *gotta share the girls with my ex* and now my mother isn’t “around” anymore. 🙁 It stinks… BUT it won’t last forever.

Again, hang in there! You can do this! 🙂

{{HUGS}}

Oh wow….I think you have a lot of good advice from everyone here. I was thinking the same thing, that you should go to a counselor even after the wait of seeing one, and regardless of the money, because this might be the thing that turns your life around. You might find some help that might save your life. God knows how much I don’t want you to give up on life. I wish I had some similar experiences to tell you about, but I don’t. Don’t give up yet! You’re only my age, and there are so many good things that are left for you to experience! I really hope you can find some help which will be very beneficial to you.
Oh, and don’t give up on your husband either, because I have experienced a little bit of what is going on between you. We haven’t physically fought or anything, but when I get mad, or cry, my husband will just clam up and to me his actions are telling me that he doesn’t care. That isn’t the case though because we have talked about it. I tell him when I am sad or about ready to break, and then I tell him that I need him to hold me. Even when I am mad, I tell him that and the rage seems to go away long enough for me to tell him what is making me mad(and I try to be neutral when I say this because if I’m not he takes it offensively, and then he gets hurt feelings and then arguing.)
If there is anything I can do for you, let me know!