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The last couple weeks have been really stressful.
My best friend and main child care provider is diabetic. Good thing is over the last few weeks he has finally gotten Medicare and is now on the correct drugs to control his blood sugars. Bad thing is that we’ve been dealing with an ulcer on his foot for over a year now, and the specialist is now suggesting a partial foot amputation since there are nasty bacteria living in the bones of the foot.
Best friend is fighting this suggestion tooth and nail. Problem is, his whole life is on hold with this wound existing, not to mention it can be life threatening if the infection gets any worse, losing part of his foot is tragic, but I far prefer that to losing him.
He is insisting on trying to save the foot despite the fact that the bone infection will not go away, even if the flesh wound closes, which will mean he will have a ticking time bomb living in his foot bones and it will only be a matter of time before he ends up amputating the foot anyway.
I told him he may as well just get it over with, sooner or later he’s still going to have to do this. May as well not have it hanging over his head, not to mention dealing with several more months of an open wound, if it will even close.
But it’s his decision. I hate that it is his decision, because I hate seeing him in pain, constantly in pain, and unable to do anything fun with anyone because he has to stay off the wound. And it is starting to look like it will be months of this indecision, I hate waffling, he should just do what needs to be done, and have done with it. Postponing the inevitable is just prolonging it and making doing it all the harder.
Anyway, just needed to vent a bit.
On top of all that is going on with the best friend, my ferret Zoro is showing all the classic signs of adrenal disease, which means a costly surgery for him within the next few weeks. At a time when I really simply can not afford it. All I can hope is that the house refinance will finally get done this time and that I can then get Zoro taken care of, get new glasses for myself and start working on paying off the medical bills piled up from Karli and I’s run in with those abcesses from a couple months ago.
Why me? I know others are going through a bit rougher time than I am right now, but I am starting to feel the strain a bit.
My best friend is the most important person to me outside of my husband and kids and I am scared that his refusal to deal with his situation in a timely manner is going to cost more than part of his foot. I really don’t think I could handle losing him.
Anyway, just whining a bit and venting.
With luck all will get better soon, I’m hanging in there.
Kyrin
—*hugs* I’m so glad I don’t have to make that decision (a body part or me). It’s not an easy one to make, even if it seems easy to other people.
Kyrin wrote:and the specialist is now suggesting a partial foot amputation
You might want to go talk to someone at the local VA hospital, or even regular hospital, and see what sort of support groups are available.
Simply talking to and being around other people who have lost limbs and yet lead full and happy lives may be all it takes to lessen his fear. Because it is fear that is causing him to risk death over this.
It’s always easier to face the unknown if there is someone already in there saying “Hey, it happened to me and I’m OK!”
Of course, he should also get in touch with another specialist to see if they are both in agreement as to the danger of NOT doing the surgery.
emerald212 wrote:*hugs* I’m so glad I don’t have to make that decision (a body part or me). It’s not an easy one to make, even if it seems easy to other people.
Considering he has a 17 month old daughter, and a 6 year old almost son, forfeiting his life over part of a limb is not an option. Also, this is the healthiest he’s been in 6 years, and he has a life to live, a good one.
He’s had to have toes amputated in the past, this is just a continuation of the same problem. If he acts now, he may never have to do this again, but if he farts around, he’ll lose the whole foot, his leg or his life.
It’s not an easy thing, I agree. But I am also very practical, it isn’t worth one’s life to keep a diseased limb. Plenty of people lead happy and productive lives minus limbs. It isn’t the end of the world, not fun and definately not something anyone wants to have to do, but if it has to be done, then it has to be done. So do it. That’s me.
Were it me, I’d already be at the hospital recovering, right now. Not kidding.
Anyway, I am just frustrated, I know that he will do the right thing soon, it is just the waiting for him to get around to it, that is driving me bonkers.
Kyrin
You know everyone needs to vent. That’s how I felt less than a week ago. But, who to vent to. I didn’t feel like I could vent to family. It honestly helps to vent to someone. Takes some of the pressure off for sure. (I know it helped me work through some of the pain.)
I can only imagine what your friend is going through. It must be so difficult. My mothers aunt (I think) lost most of her leg. She got a cut on her foot and the infection from it killed her leg. She lead a normal productive life after. (If it came down to it, I’d lose the foot to save the leg.) But, it is a horrible thing to even consider.
Sending you hugs. I hope Zoro will be okay.
Thanks guys.
I’ve been really worried for over a year and helping him deal with and care for the open wound. So now that there is a solution in sight, one where while he loses a bit more foot gives him the opportunity for a closed wound, I’m a bit anxious for him to get it over with.
Getting the infection out of the bone without removing the bones affected isn’t something that can be done, bone is real susceptible to infection because it just doesn’t have the blood flow to get the fighters in there. So once it is infected, getting it out is pretty much impossible. It may calcify and form a cystlike structure to contain the foriegn invaders, but eventually that breaks down and you are back to having a serious infection.
His main concern is that either the surgeon will botch the job, or when it is done his ability to walk and get around will be worse than it is now. I am pretty sure the surgeon is fine, he has a very good reputation and is considered the best in the area. And as long as the foot heals well, his mobility won’t be too seriously affected, different yes, but he will still be able to get around about as well as he does now.
Problem is, he doesn’t believe that, so the surgeon contacted a couple of his past patients who have had similar surgery done so he can talk to them and get a better understanding of how this will affect him long term.
He’s had the numbers since Thursday, he still hasn’t called either one. He pitched a fit to get those numbers, and now he won’t call them. And he wonders why I am about to pull my hair out. he says he isn’t procrastinating, he will make a decision, but yet all the things he said he needed, he has, and he is still sitting on the fence.
Did I mention I hate indecision? Anyway, we got into a bit of a tiff the other day over this, and I told him not to ask for my opinion on it any more. He’s on his own for this one, I’ll take him to his appointments and support whatever he wants to do, if he ever decides before it’s too damn late, but I’m not discussing it with him further. He knows what I think already and I don’t want him accusing me of manipulating him later.
But I’m still frustrated, surgery means he could be healed in a month, he has excellent blood flow and heals fast usually. Long story about how he got the ulcer. Meanwhile we already know it would be an indefinate amount of time before we could get this to heal as is, if it will even do so. After several weeks of antibiotics and his blood sugars under control, we still aren’t seeing any progress outside of reduced swelling. Wound is still the same, no difference from one week to the next.
*sigh*
Zoro the ferret, will be okay, he’s doing fine, still eating and drinking and playing with his buddies, so I think as long as we get the surgery for him done soon, he will suffer no long term effects.
Thanks for listening to me complain. I really can’t vent out loud here, since our friend lives with us. And I have already yelled at him a couple of times, which didn’t win me any points. I don’t mean to, but damn it, I care and I want him healthy and healed up, by hook or by crook. Anyway, I am trying very hard to leave him alone and not take out my frustration out on him, even though he’s the one causing it.
Kyrin
So sad 🙁 . I am diabetic too and am always worried about loosing a foot or something one day. I have been taking shots for more than 20 years now and it sucks but it could be worse I know. It sounds like your friend should have surgery now before it gets worse, part of a foot or part of a leg sounds easy to decide. Diabetics take forever to heal and if the doctors are saying infection is that deep, well its not good obviously. My prayers go out to your friend and I hope they can get threw this horrible deal.
No wonder you need to vent – this situation would be having me pulling my hair out too. But maybe he just needs more time to process since he will be loosing part of the foot. I can see how it would seem much worse than a toe. Hopefully he will get up the courage to call the people. And if is worried about them operating the wrong foot I have heard people write NOT THIS FOOT in black ink on the good foot prior to surgery.
Sorry to hear about Zoro. Surgery would be best but some people have treated adrenal disease with melatonin implants (they have them for minks to improve the quality of the fur). It pretty much masks the symptoms – doesn’t treat the underlying cause but if surgery is not an option for some reason it can help. You might want to ask your vet. Or check back issues of Ferret Fancy – I think there was an article in there about this a couple of years ago.
Good luck.
Good luck, Kyrin. It’s too bad you can’t give people a good whack in the back of the head and rearrange their thoughts a little so they see sense.
Rusti wrote:Good luck, Kyrin. It’s too bad you can’t give people a good whack in the back of the head and rearrange their thoughts a little so they see sense.
😆 I’ve tried this a couple times with a certain friend of mine. It doesn’t work, but I always feel better afterwards. The person I whacked doesn’t always, but *shrugs* you take what you can get. (He actually likes it and asks me to do it again afterwards.) 😆
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