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Grandparents funeral…

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  • #569278
    tc_cat333
    Participant

      Hey guys,

      I know that I am still kinda new around here and that there have been a few ranters this month but I would like to have a little rant about my family… you don’t have to read I just need to rant… so here it is…

      To start, both my father and my aunt were adopted. When I was about 10 (19 now) my aunt went to england to find what was left of here family, and basically decided that her adopted family was just good for money.

      Recently my grandmother died and my grandfather died a few years before. Their request was to be cremated and their ashes spread out over the ocean where they used to live, which I don’t think is actually legal anymore. Well funerals are usually to remember the people that have moved on and all the happy memories and such… It was just going to be family there, but my sister doesn’t want to go(smart one) because she thinks(she’s right) that the whole thing will be about my dad and sheila (my aunt) as they will be fighting about something and no one will be thinking about my grandparent just how fast they can get out of there… I was going to go down with my dad but I requested a small container of some of their ashes so that I could do something with my sister, since she was closest to my grandmother and I know that she would like to do something that is actually for my grandparents… and I wanted to find a small perfume bottle or something to put some ashes in just to keep… anyway.. blah blah blah… I asked my dad about getting some ashes while we were down there he said it would be fine… then he called my aunt and told her and she had a freak fit.. my dad said she spurted some religious babble and kept saying “you can’t just have an arm and a leg..” so my dad told her that we aren’t going… *sigh*…

      My aunt kind of peesses me off… for example (biggest thing for me) she called my grandmother one night and asked for money (again) and I don’t know what my grandmother said but I assume she said know because my aunt told her, I qoute “We can’t just wait for you to die you know!” Another thing that peeves me is that the request for the ash spreading or whatever was that they be spread the ashes at a light house between 2 islands… but my dad and aunt are to cheap and too lazy to get a boat so they were just going to dump them off the shore… ggrrr…

      ok.. I’m sorry this is so long… just needed to rant to someone…

      #490740
      tc_cat333
      Participant

        #569279
        Bob

          I’m going thru the same thing as you can see in my topic my mom passed away yesterday. At least the family agrees on how to take care of my moms ashes it’s her final wish

          #569280
          Skigod377
          Participant

            Im sorry. I hope your family manages to come to an agreement.

            #569281

            I’m very sorry. The passing of a loved one should never be turned into bickering and quarreling. And, of course her last wishes should be respected.

            #569282

            Wow, that doesn’t make for a respectful funeral, TC. Sorry your aunt is making such a nuisance of herself. 🙁

            #569283

            Thats really strage about not being able to scatter ashes.
            Im actually going to the Lake District in England in a few weeks to scatter my Grandma and Grandads ashes in the lakes with my family.

            #569284
            NirvanaCat13
            Participant

              I once again offer my services for removal of pesky family members :mrgreen:

              #569285
              Bob

                Nirvanacat13 wrote:

                I once again offer my services for removal of pesky family members :mrgreen:

                At least mine are fine with my mom’s last wishes

                #569286

                wow. i cannot believe your aunt. hopefully you can mamke other arrangements to get some of the ashes. 😐

                #569287
                laphon1
                Participant

                  I’m sorry for your loss, TC.

                  #569288
                  Elena
                  Participant

                    Sometime relatives can be so strange. Your Grandmother wishes should be respected. I hope you get it all figured out. *Hugs*

                    #569289
                    Bob

                      I was just informed that it’s up to the next of kin to make all the decisions ana at least my sister and I agree on how to take care of my mom’s remains. She will be creamater as soon as we can figure out how to get it all paid for. I found a place thru a friend in the business. He said he can’t do it cheapely becasue he does not have his own creamatorium but recommenced a place that I have called so the arrangments will be made this week and i will be the one picking up the ashes and will keep them until we can figure out when to meet in Tahoe and get her to her final resting place.
                      In your case since there are 2 next of kin they both have equal power so I wish you the best of luck there.

                      #569290
                      drag0nfeathers
                      Participant

                        Feel free to rant whenever tc. Everyone here knows my family history pretty much by now 😆 I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost all my grandparents before I was old enough to remember them except my maternal grandmother, but then she was so bad with alzheimers she didn’t even know who I was most of the time.

                        Relatives can be a real pain sometimes. I’m sorry your aunt is being that way too. Sheesh, I think your aunt and my mom should get together and go to bingo or something. Sounds like they’d hit it off. hah!

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                        #569291
                        tc_cat333
                        Participant

                          Dragon Master wrote:

                          I was just informed that it’s up to the next of kin to make all the decisions ana at least my sister and I agree on how to take care of my mom’s remains. She will be creamater as soon as we can figure out how to get it all paid for. I found a place thru a friend in the business. He said he can’t do it cheapely becasue he does not have his own creamatorium but recommenced a place that I have called so the arrangments will be made this week and i will be the one picking up the ashes and will keep them until we can figure out when to meet in Tahoe and get her to her final resting place.
                          In your case since there are 2 next of kin they both have equal power so I wish you the best of luck there.

                          Your right, usually the next of kin do everything… but I just realised that in this situation (because of my aunt) my grandmother made her laywer the power… hhmmm… I don’t think I will pull him into this… that would be mean…

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