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Ok, I know somethings are not ok to post…but I am having a real hard time with this person. I want to know how you would deal with her if she were working with you.
Let me tell you about her personality.
1-She has to know everything about everyone (and she does find out even if you try to avoid her)
2- She will come to your face and tell you outright if someone said something about you (granted you are suppose to take this with a grain of salt)
3-She will make snied remarks about you to your face
4- She will do stuff for you when she feels like it, but will turn around and tell your boss that you are not doing your job.
That is all I can think of for now.Ok, so the situation.
My friend and I were going to get something to eat for lunch everything was fine until we come back. She starts telling us that why didn’t we tell her we were going. My friend starts saying that she forgot and she was trying to get back for a meeting that she had (I had no idea that we were suppose to get something for her). So her reply was..that is ok, I wont rely on the source (her tone was mean and harsh). So anyway, we kind of brushed it off and then I started eating at my co-worker’s desk and then she turns around and says, “what, you don’t eat at your desk? (in the same tone)”. I said that I can if I want to (but if I do then I would have to answer phones and ppl would think that I was working). She rolled her eyes and turned around.
So after I finish eating, I go back to my desk and she come in. The printer was out of paper and she asked me to go get some. I just politely said ok. Then she said, “it looks like you dont have that much to do (which was a totally incorrect statement, I have lots to do)”. She said, “I think that M…(my other co-worker) got the raw end of the deal…but don’t worry we will have to reward her [in the same tone](now a while ago we had to switch duties every 2 weeks, but they changed it so we just have to cover when the other person is gone)”.
I am thinking to myself reward her for what (and I thought it was total B.S)? We got to pick what we wanted to do and the supervisor was kind enough to give it to us. Now M…. comes in the office and she blasts the radio in the morning, she has personal calls going to her phone which I have to deal with (the supervisor also told her that she wasn’t suppose to do that). She goes downstairs and visits her friend for a length of time (on company time). I don’t think she does more than me.Oh and the first woman I was talking about…I have gone to the supervisor more than once, but it still doesn’t seem to get better. I am just hoping she will retire this year. Ok, I think I put in all the details and I am done ranting.
So tell me what would you do or how would you handle this?
Ok, but not all the time. There are times that she says something to someone and it has gotten back to me.
Well, if I were in your situation I try first try to have a friendly discussion with her about the things that she’s doing which are bothering you to get her to change her behavior, and if that didn’t work, I would discuss the issue with her supervisor. From what you mentioned, it sounds like you’ve already done both of these things.
So basically you’re stuck with an unpleasant person that you have to work with. I suggest avoiding her as much as possible, and associating/talking with her only as needed for work reasons. If she insists on coming to you and making unpleasant remarks, it would be best to act disinterested or say something that shows that you’re not taking her remarks seriously at all. It would also be good say something which makes her uncomfortable. So for some of the things you mentioned:
“2- She will come to your face and tell you outright if someone said something about you (granted you are suppose to take this with a grain of salt)”
You could say: “I’m really not interested” in a cold voice and give her a cool stare until she gets uncomfortable and goes away.“3-She will make snied remarks about you to your face”
Say something outrageous which which shows her that you’re not taking it seriously. So for example, if she says “You don’t look like you have that much to do,” you could say, “Shhhh! Do you want everyone to know?”“4- She will do stuff for you when she feels like it, but will turn around and tell your boss that you are not doing your job.”
My advice here is to not ask her to do anything that isn’t strictly required as part of her job. Then she won’t have anything to tell your boss.“she turns around and says, “what, you don’t eat at your desk? (in the same tone)”.
You could say: “Why, is this bothering you?”“She starts telling us that why didn’t we tell her we were going.”
Just tell her that you didn’t know she had wanted to come.Hope this helps a little. By the way, is there any reason that she can’t get the paper herself if the printer is empty?
Mimi’s suggestions are good. I can’t add any because I haven’t had any lousy co-workers so far – but I’ll keep Mimi’s advice in mind for a possible later. Good luck with that person, dragoness. I hope things get better.
Thanks GB! 😀
You’re lucky you haven’t run across bad co-workers to far — I hope it stays that way. Unfortunately I have had to deal with some nasty co-workers over the years…luckily they’ve only been a very small minority.
I don’t know, but I think the nasty people are always a minority. Their numbers and appearance just gets blown up because they stand out from the normal, civil people of this world. Now I hardly believe that people are good by nature, but I think the conscience does a good job of keeping most of us in line.
Greater Basilisk wrote:I don’t know, but I think the nasty people are always a minority. Their numbers and appearance just gets blown up because they stand out from the normal, civil people of this world.
I think you’re right. Those few nasty people definitely stick out in my memory a lot more than the normal people.
But the nasty ones help you appreciate the civil ones more. The guy who hit Retta last Friday, for example. It was an accident, it wasn’t his fault, but he took her and Dad to the vet and worried about my puppy the rest of the night – all even though he’d been on his way to a fancy dinner with his wife! It all could have been so much worse with a hit-and-run.
Mos def! He sounds like a very decent person. I think it’d be very traumatic to hit an animal…I hope it never happens to me.
Thanks Mimi. I will try to remember these when she does it again. Sometimes it is sooo hurtful that I don’t tend to think that fast.
GB, I am glad the person that hit your puppy took care of the bills and didn’t run off. It is times like those that makes me think that are good people in the world.
Do you think you can take her, Dragoness?? If so, (And she is not your boss) Just get up in her face and tell her to mind her own buisness. When she comes over and tells you something that someone said about you, march her straight over to the person that supposably said it and tell her what you heard. Maybe she will stop coming to you and you can expose her for a gossip. I adore gossips at work, cuz if they tell me something, I will go straight to the source and take the perp with me. I cant stand stupid/just plain nasty people.
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